So the new buzzword in the sex positive space is “responsive desire”:

responsive desire happens when you feel that physical readiness for sex before you feel the mental desire. Typically, is that you’ll already be engaged in some sort of physically stimulating activity, then start to feel mentally interested in taking things further.

This is in contrast to “spontaneous desire:

Spontaneous desire happens when that mental interest arises first. You’re just walking down the street or sitting at your desk when - BAM - you start to think about sex. You want to have it.

This dichotomy seems tailor made for some RedPill/MRA/PUA theory that women don’t really know what they want sexually and men just have to keep badgering us about it to get us to give in.

It also gives them green light to ignore our lack of enthusiastic consent and push against “Last minute resistance” because they've assumed that “we’ll get into it once we try”.

These sex therapists seem like they’re just rationalizing women being bored, unsure, preoccupied, or uninterested in sex with that particular man and framing it as a sexual identity.

Both of these descriptions of sexuality seem overly simplistic. Is responsive or spontaneous sexual nature static?

Like, if you see an extremely attractive man you want to fuck are you suddenly “spontaneous desire” vs boring routine sex with your man child boyfriend you have to hype yourself up into having means you’re “responsive”? Or are you just sexually attracted to different things than your boyfriend can provide?

If I see Jason Momoa im pretty sure I’d want to fuck on sight. But there are other men who are atttractive (ish) and my reaction would be “eh, maybe If I got to know him I’d want sex” but that is usually a function of them just not being nearly as physically attractive as Jason, me not knowing if they are safe to be around or not, or having something odd about their personality that makes me hesitant to give in to that desire.

It seems like they’re trying find some way to “diagnose” women’s sexual desire and dance around the truth to spare men’s feelings.

What do you all think?