Yesterday my [21F] boyfriend [24M] slapped me for not putting enough makeup on before we had sex. It was the first time he hit me. He apologised last night. Should I give him another chance or dump him now?

SpiderrG · 2020-05-29T20:28:59+00:00

She sounds trapped and totally dependent on this man. I feel really sad and sorry for her.

Among all of the other shinning examples of whay not to do in this post, this is why we should not EVER be fully dependent on a man.

Lavender_flow · 2020-05-29T21:00:48+00:00

We had sex and it wasn't great but he was a lot more gentle than usual and it wasn't that painful for me .

Can we talk about this part too? Like sex is usually painful for her? Like wtf!

diflorus · 2020-05-29T20:43:52+00:00

God, she still had sex with him AFTER he hit her! 🥺 My heart hurts for this poor woman. I hope she leaves.

gcfemtastic · 2020-05-29T22:42:38+00:00

"Yesterday when he told me he wanted to have sex"....

Jesus. You were summoned for sex. No kisses, and gentle talk, or joy or passion or effort from him. Just told to prepare your face so he can fuck you and go back to work.

And then he verbally shames you, hits you, fucks you while you dissociate, and sex with him usually hurts anyways.

What misery.

shethrewawayaccount · 2020-05-29T20:26:39+00:00

“Yesterday my [21F] boyfriend [24M] slapped me for not putting enough makeup on before we had sex. It was the first time he hit me. He apologised last night. Should I give him another chance or dump him now?

We've been together for two years now. To be completely fair, we haven't exactly been treating each other very well lately, I've also lost my temper with him at times and we do rile each others up. The whole quarantine thing has been very difficult for both of us. He has to work from home which is very challenging for him and I'm stuck at home with no job so I don't have much of an escape, I do the housework and try to keep up with my hobbies but mostly I just use my free time to sit around and watch shows. He doesn't mind as long as I'm keeping the house clean and doing at least one or two useful activities a day. The one thing he is very particular about though is the sex. He always asks me to wear full makeup in the way that he likes it. This usually takes me at least half an hour to get done. I didn't use to mind at all, I loved making him happy and making myself more attractive for him so we can both have more fun. My mood just hasn't been at all great lately which means I've been slacking in a lot of areas, including this one.

Yesterday when he told me he wanted to have sex, I spent about ten minutes doing minimal makeup and just sat on the bed on my phone waiting for him. He wasn't very happy when he saw me. He asked if I thought I did a good enough job. I told him I was tired and didn't want to spend thirty minutes dolling myself up. I might've said it in a somewhat nasty tone as I felt annoyed that he wouldn't let it slide. He asked me again. When I told him no, he slapped my face. It shocked me a lot more than it hurt. I just froze and pretty much disassociated from that point. We had sex and it wasn't great but he was a lot more gentle than usual and it wasn't that painful for me. He went back to his office to continue working and I just paced around the house, feeling hazy and hurt.

I got an apology from him during dinner that night. He said his frustrations from his work and his bad mood made him lash out at me for something that would usually not even make him angry, but he takes full responsibility for what he did and he swears that it will never happen again. He seemed to genuinely regret it and he didn't even try to shift any of the blame onto me. Even though I know I wasn't exactly on my best behaviour yesterday. I feel so conflicted and I don't know whether to give him another chance or not. It's tearing me up to think about what I want to do about this because I don't want to choose the wrong option and end up regretting it. What do you think I should do?”

I am.. speechless

munissa · 2020-05-29T21:15:15+00:00

“He was a lot more gentle than usual and it wasn’t that painful for me”. What the f*ck. He was a lot more gentle and it wasn’t that painful?!!!! So what is it usually?!?! This is all sorts of wrong. She needs to leave immediately.

SevenPackAbs · 2020-05-29T22:39:59+00:00

Sounds like he groomed her when she was a teenager to manipulate her into putting heavy make up just for sex WTF. Dude does not even like what she looks like without make up, she internalized that painful sex is normal and now he raped (dissociation is not being fully présent) her just before he literally hit her to punish her if she does not look like like how he wants. Just Wtf. This dude is an abuser and I hope she leaves and build some self esteem before dating again. This dude taught her that abuse is normal omg.

I dont need her to say it but I know the painful sex she talks about is just degrading porn acts. He probably made her watch it when she was even more younger to groom her and now she thinks that's how "sex" is done. Fuck.

sofiacarolina · 2020-05-29T22:40:12+00:00

i havent read the post yet but omg..this was actually the straw that broke the camel’s back and led me to break up with my abusive ex. We were about to have sex and he asked me to ‘put on some makeup/something sexy on’. Now, he’d said much worse things to me and was consistently physically and emotionally abusive, but somehow for some reason this particular comment was something I would not tolerate. For the first time in the relationship i stood up for myself. I said something along the lines of “are you fucking kidding me? My naked body should be more than enough for you. The fact that im willing to have sex with you should be more than enough to turn you on” and I refused to sleep with him. I had to sleep over though because I had no way home, god it was a horrible night of sleeping like as far away from him as possible in bed and then finally he drove me to a doctor’s appointment the next day, said I love you to me even though Id been ignoring him since the night before (and to which ofc I said nothing in return), and then I broke up with him through the phone promptly thereafter (obv an in person breakup wouldve been dangerous bc he was dangerous). Im glad I got out, although it took 7 months of consistent abuse, but to this day I’m still a little dumbfounded that I took all the abuse but then this one comment was what made me come to my senses

divdec · 2020-05-29T22:58:27+00:00

The fact that she would even have to ask that question makes me want to cry.

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-05-29T23:29:06+00:00

If that were me who got slapped the only question I'd have for Reddit is "Should I have the cops cuff my hands in the front or the back?"

NerdySciFiChick · 2020-05-30T00:21:32+00:00

When I read these post by women, these absolutely bat shit bonkers abusive incidents - and they are acting so casual about it, it breaks my heart. How much have they been through that things like this aren’t immediate call your mom/sister/bff to get you out of there!

DoeEyedBrownSkin · 2020-05-29T21:18:22+00:00

WAIT, WHAT?

SLAPPED, STILL HAD SEX AND IS RATIONALIZING ASSAULT?

I’m sorry for laughing but this is a circus 🎪😂 wtf??

jmaydizzle · 2020-05-30T00:16:10+00:00

Jesus she should’ve ran out of there as soon as he’d hit her (if not sooner by the sounds of it)

jelilikins · 2020-05-30T00:45:29+00:00

Honestly thought the title was an FDS joke. Unbelievable.

Fantastic-Living · 2020-05-30T00:45:32+00:00

This is so absolutely nuts I hope it is fake. In the event it is not I hope she can de-brainwash herself and get free from his trap. I would hope for the guy to change but I don't believe he will.

TradcatAlice · 2020-05-30T04:10:02+00:00

This has to be satire.

Chancedizzle · 2020-05-29T23:15:14+00:00

Dummmmmp Runnnnnnnnnn!

thegypsybean · 2020-05-30T07:11:08+00:00

I pray that she leaves this asshat. I don’t want her to make the same mistake I did. If she stays, it’s going to get worse.

The first time my ex hurt me was when he twisted my wrist because I wanted to leave since we were going to be late to meet with my cousin, and he hadn’t found something he was looking for. He knew he’d done wrong and kept saying “I understand if you want to leave me now.” For me at that age, it was so minuscule that I brushed it off, but every subsequent attack after became worse, especially once we’d moved in together and I was stuck on a lease with him.

oixsuxejbsfc · 2020-05-30T17:48:13+00:00

Nooo no no no no. Girl, leave him and report him to the police. Don’t talk to him about it, don’t warn him, please just get away from him asap. He assaulted you, and for not doing your makeup the way he liked of all things??? Hell nah girl please get yourself out of there. No good man will ever hit you and no violent man is ever violent once. If he’s willing to slap you over this then imagine what he might do if it were a worse situation. Please get away from him. You deserve better and you do not deserve to be hurt. Your safety is more important than his feelings.

whydenny · 2020-05-30T14:51:36+00:00

Sorry, but this woman is a lost cause...

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