I need some advice on dealing with the most confusing relationship ever!

FemclFleshBeckyBones · 2020-03-04T19:53:08+00:00

Throw the whole man away.

There's nothing to be confused about. You're the sidechick Pickmeisha to some fuckboy and his main girl. You can't try to manuever this into a situation that's beneficial to you because you're emotionally invested and they hold all the negotiating power. You. Can't. Win.

Your best bet is take off the clown makeup and walk away for good. Never do poly again. Never get this dickmatized for a loser fuckboy again. Stop running around with LVM.

Oh, and read the Handbook over and over again until you internalize what's written there.

sweatydeath · 2020-03-04T19:52:50+00:00

The issues are: you let him walk all over you, you let him have a 3-some with you (which put you at risk for diseases) and you rewarded him for his low effort by giving him attention. Did you even check them both for STD’s beforehand? Did you make it clear you need to be wined and dined for 1-3 months before you allowed him sexual access?

This story reads like you are a doormat but don’t want to continue being one. Block and delete, sis. Read some of the recommended readings in our Wiki (link is in the about section when using the app). Don’t let men call the shots. They are NOT the selective sex. Only let men call the shots if you want to have the rest of your relationships (situationships really) end like this.

gscoutj · 2020-03-04T19:52:35+00:00

Block both of them.

curlygirl507 · 2020-03-04T19:56:10+00:00

I don’t understand what’s going on!

You haven't established any kind of boundaries with these people, and they're just using you as they see fit. Why are you putting up with this? Do they own you? Are you their slave? Why are they not both blocked in your phone?

The AMAZING sex is the main reason I’m still communicating with him

I would like to introduce you to the cordless Hitachi Magic Wand. It'll be the best $80 you've ever spent.

I guess a part of me hopes that a relationship where I have equal standing as the other girl is still possible.

Nope. He's just not into you. The other girl is his gf and you're his side piece. Besides, he's using you. He is not somebody you want in your life.

Please, for the love of God, run!!!

Spice_Cat_Puccino · 2020-03-04T19:53:29+00:00

Why you're being dick-hypotized?

Don't be a side girl, just get out of this relationship. The mental torture you're going through isn't worth a good dick. Dicks are abundant.

Think about yourself FIRST. Dont think about his feelings, THINK ABOUT YOUR OWN FEELINGS FIRST.

I'd suggest to make a slow read of the handbook and analyse the relationship from a objective viewpoint.

aclumsygirl · 2020-03-04T19:58:52+00:00

This relationship is not what you want. So you need to not be in it. It's as simple as that.

Never, ever accept less than what you want because the sex is good, or you think if you wait it will get better, or [insert any reason here].

Just end it. Stop responding to them. Block. Move on.

gigi_chi · 2020-03-04T20:15:13+00:00

This isn’t even confusing. He clearly Cares for the other woman as she is the one who dictates the tempo of your relationship with him. They call you when they get bored because they know you’re down .

ilikesoy_ · 2020-03-04T19:48:07+00:00

dont be a lvw going after a lvm. know your worth and level up.

throwahweigh3521 · 2020-03-04T20:09:35+00:00

Amazing sex isn’t divorced from respect and being valued and treated like you matter.

Why do you over value orgasms from a man over orgasms you give yourself- why do you value them at all ? Wtf made you believe amazing sex is more valuable than you?

This is next level pick me shit.

jayda92 · 2020-03-04T19:56:07+00:00

That must be a weird connection. Just get rid of them to make place for something better :)

officernice89 · 2020-03-04T20:48:11+00:00

girl, throw him in the trash. why reduce yourself to this type of relationship? seriously don’t settle for poly relationships..

glazedhamster · 2020-03-04T20:28:52+00:00

What is confusing about this? As others have said, it's pretty clear you're the side chick/unicorn/third wheel. And he doesn't even respect you enough to try and make it look like he gives a shit. But why should he? He's clearly got you wrapped around his dick.

Block, delete, delete every OLD profile you have, lock yourself in a room and read every single resource in the handbook. And then read it again. Have some self-respect.

ModernDayOracle · 2020-03-04T20:07:01+00:00

Congratulations, you are a unicorn. Yes, what's happening to you is so common that there's a name for it. A unicorn is a bi female sex toy, used by a couple, to spice up or fix or enhance their relationship. You'll never have an equal relationship, you'll never get rights, and you'll never see your needs met unless they align with the couple's needs. Even poly people hate these kinds of couples.

Dump them both. Grow your self respect. Stop chasing the scraps they throw at you, you deserve a whole meal, girl.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-03-04T20:40:34+00:00

Hes a dick. He doesn't have shit going on in his head, thats the problem.

Firefly10886 · 2020-03-04T21:00:28+00:00

All excellent advice by the Queens of the sub have been posted above. All I can say is the moment you block/delete and rid yourself of these energy/time vampires, you’ll have space in your life for something new. I suggest you fill the void with things that help you feel like a better/healthier version of you, and use FDS daily kind of like AA is for alcoholics. I’m a recovering pickmeisha myself and never have I felt better/more confident, thanks to FDS.

gscoutj · 2020-03-04T20:17:55+00:00

TIL... that makes me feel less alone thank you.

gscoutj · 2020-03-04T20:11:31+00:00

[removed]

timetofliptables · 2020-03-04T22:27:51+00:00

Didn’t get to read the post before it was removed but based on your title I’ll say this, it took me way too long to learn this very simple rule:

CONFUSION IS A RED FLAG.

Simple as that. If a man is leaving you confused, there’s a reason and it’s never going to be good or worth wasting time figuring out.

Title	I need some advice on dealing with the most confusing relationship ever!
Author	gscoutj
Upvotes	0
Comments	38
Date	March 4, 2020 7:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fdi943/i_need_some_advice_on_dealing_with_the_most/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-need-some-advice-on-dealing-with-the-most.680908 https://theredarchive.com/post/680908

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