Why do exes offer us friendship?

aclumsygirl · 2020-02-01T21:26:51+00:00

Because they like the emotional support and ego stroke of having you around, knowing you're still into them. It makes them feel better when other women reject them.

7_0f_9 · 2020-02-01T21:39:54+00:00

The thing is, when they offer friendship you will never actually see them making the effort to be friends. And that's fine. If they have a significant other who doesn't want them hanging around their female friends, so he distances himself, i can respect that boundary. But then why even call it friendship when we don't even hang out or talk? Is fine to be on good terms and end things amicably, but if you are effectively cutting the person out of your life either way (whether by choice or life circumstances like the example above) why pretend to be friends? My only ex that I'm friends with doesn't even talked to me and doesn't even make an effort to message first the few times we do talk. Call me crazy but i like having friends i actually hang out with and talk to regularly, otherwise i don't consider them really friends, just acquaintances. That's what i realized recently. That i don't need this ex in my life if he gives me nothing. And he does have a gf so i don't expect to meet up with him any time soon but then why even call him my friend? He's done. We've both moved on. Delete.

I think what it comes down to is they want us waiting on the side lines just in case they decide they want us again. So that's not actually friendship. That's just placating his sexual desires when he's earned nothing. Block and delete #kickhimout2020

Usual_Zucchini · 2020-02-01T22:53:40+00:00

They want the girlfriend experience without having to put any boyfriend tokens in.

As his friend, you will: listen to his problems, support him, maybe bring him some food, give him some advice on whoever he's chasing next, and maybe, if you both grab a drink and let your defenses down, sleep with him, continuing to boost his ego and manage his emotions

Friendship is not a consolation prize for a failed relationship.

Diamondsareagirlsbff · 2020-02-01T22:39:29+00:00

Sometimes they just want to keep you warm in case they want to boomerang. Beware the boomerang!

take1990 · 2020-02-01T23:20:28+00:00

They want benefits on the side while being single and looking for their dream girl.

randomgirlimok · 2020-02-01T23:41:18+00:00

They are trying for an FWB. Men are not friends with women unless there is the possibility of sex.

Kitty015 · 2020-02-02T02:23:29+00:00

They want sex.

I fell for that a couple of times. Don’t do it.

holodeckdeathtrap · 2020-02-02T06:43:26+00:00

I can tell you why the psychos do this!

You have something he wants/might want in the future. Maybe you're comfortable financially and he wants to keep you around in case he needs to borrow money, for example. Maybe you have a large friend group and he wants to stay getting invites to parties and events.
He's going to use you to help him get his next girl. Let's say you guys grab drinks at a local bar. He's going to use that time to pick up girls because the fact that he's there with a woman is going to prime other women to think that he's desirable and when they ask about you, he's gonna get points for whatever bullshit reason he tells the girl he's out with your for.
He's gonna use you to take advantage of the next girl. He'll do some LV shit to her and casually drop your name into the argument. The subtext is going to be that he's still friends with his exes so obviously his girlfriend is the one with the problem because none of his exes are mad at him.

Any normal person, after dumping someone, is going to avoid them. If you have any human feeling in you, you feel bad about what you did to them and you don't want to put either of you in the awkward position of having to relive that experience. The kind of guy who insists on being friends afterwards, particularly if you weren't close friends before you started dating, is scary and you should avoid them whenever possible.

turquoiseblues · 2020-02-02T03:18:41+00:00

Free emotional labor. And they get to pretend they’re the good guy.

Scotsburd · 2020-02-02T10:44:20+00:00

They want to keep mommy around while looking for the one they really want.

getrippeddiemirin · 2020-02-02T14:18:35+00:00

They still want access to you without needing to put in any actual effort like they had to when you were dating. An ex is an ex for a reason. Half the time these simpletons' idea of post-breakup "friendship" is a booty call at 11pm once a fortnight. Don't waste your time

fdsstudent · 2020-02-01T23:58:50+00:00

[removed]

getrippeddiemirin · 2020-02-02T14:19:20+00:00

They still want access to you without needing to put in any actual effort like they had to when you were dating. An ex is an ex for a reason. Half the time these simpletons' idea of post-breakup "friendship" is a booty call at 11pm once a fortnight. Don't waste your time

Radtron3000 · 2020-02-02T14:24:31+00:00

In the half chance they can still get laid when they're single

Title	Why do exes offer us friendship?
Author	fdsstudent
Upvotes	62
Comments	31
Date	February 1, 2020 9:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/excuy7/why_do_exes_offer_us_friendship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-do-exes-offer-us-friendship.683496 https://theredarchive.com/post/683496

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