Pursuing the guy????

applestorm · 2020-07-19T16:03:09+00:00

Never pursue a man, honestly don't do it.

Why? Because men are able to have sex, date, marry, even have children with women they're not into. They more often than not do not turn down women they're not interested in because it's easy sex they didn't have to work for. However, the minute they see someone they truly like, they're going to dump you for that woman and pursue her.

jagupp · 2020-07-19T16:05:53+00:00

I personally couldn’t go for that. I do have more of a masculine energy (tho very feminine appearance) but I couldn’t go for a feminine man. It’s just not attractive to me. I want someone who is very securely masculine in his being. It makes me feel more feminine, if that makes sense. When I dated women in the past i realized that I took on the masculine, caretaker role very naturally and it left me feeling like something was missing. I think because I’m petite I want someone who makes me feel physically taken care of. At the same time the more feminine men who have pursued me have been too.... emasculated (?) for me to be attracted to them.

This is all of course very gendered. Men who are secure in their being should have no issue with pursuing assertive women. I want a confident man who can take care of me. But at the same time is keenly aware that we’re in an equal partnership and I will continue to be the assertive, ambitious woman that I am.

BasieSkanks · 2020-07-19T15:48:29+00:00

Please read the handbook. At FDS, we don’t promote pursuing the man, as it never ends well for the woman. Men go after who they want. If a man is right for you, he won’t be put off by the pursuit. Don’t let liberal nonsense brainwash you into thinking otherwise.

2020-07-19T18:03:11+00:00

No. I work in one of the most heavily male dominated fields and I’m a boss so I’m forced to take no shit and be assertive. I am probably more “manly” than most men in a lot of ways.

I never pursue men.

reina_nova · 2020-07-19T16:03:55+00:00

A woman should never pursue a man. Period.

dzgata · 2020-07-19T18:28:11+00:00

Why do people act like women who aren’t doormats are masculine? It’s insulting to femininity. A guy who’s intimidated by a woman with self respect, boundaries, and goals in life is a little b*tch. Masculine men aren’t intimidated by women who aren’t doormats. God, who came up with this crap.

nutshit · 2020-07-19T19:50:09+00:00

Ew I wouldn’t suggest pursuing a man but I can kind of see the point she’s getting at. Some women who are assertive and have huge careers see men as cute play things. Think sugar mommas. So essentially, taking on the male role. Idk.. I guess that’s fun to some women.

Emma_Lemma_108 · 2020-07-19T23:18:18+00:00

I read that book too and was confused because A lot of it was antithetical to FDS principles; I echo your sentiment that we ought to remove it from the list, personally!

manisfestationqueen · 2020-07-19T19:04:10+00:00

Don't pursue! I personally like courageous men who take risks, and make sacrifices. A man who doesn't pursue, will not exhibit any of these qualities. You can let them know you are attracted, greeting them, making eye contact.

throwawayitst · 2020-07-19T17:17:11+00:00

Cultivate your feminine energy

2020-07-19T22:33:09+00:00

Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine is a well researched book about gender ideas, science and how these “norms” are formed and enforced.

I’m not saying pursue men. But understanding the foundations that underpin gender ideology makes all the conflicting dating advice less confusing. So much of it is based on ironclad ideas about men and women, and how each should function in a relationship.

People have strong evangelical beliefs about gender that are rarely examined and contextualized. It’s personally liberating to explore how gender is constructed and socially enforced.

Moreover, women are not somehow manly when they excel at traditional male coded things. Our feminine doesn’t shrink or cease to exist because of competence with man skills.

There’s so much to unpack.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delusions_of_Gender

Salt_Satisfaction · 2020-07-19T23:40:22+00:00

Guys who describe themselves as feminine often give the impression that they'd almost never initiate anything (including sex), you'd have to protect them (but they wouldn't do the same for you) and would be jealous of feminine traits that you have that they don't. This impression of femininity might make them appear like they wouldn't be the average douchey fuckboy, but they will lean more towards wanting a mother figure.

Now I have no problem with a man who looks a bit feminine (David Bowie, k-pop), has traditionally feminine interests or even acts relatively feminine in his mannerisms (I often ended up liking gay guys before I knew they were gay), as long as he's reliable, determined, confident and would want to protect you. I appreciate these traits in both men and women. The problem is that self-described feminine guys often reject these traits on the basis that they're masculine.

Be careful of men who are trying to act feminine on purpose instead of those whose interests and aesthetic sense simply lead them to behave/look more feminine. Never chase a man.

Abderral · 2020-07-19T22:35:27+00:00

Never pursue a man!, the sperm swims to the egg and not the other way around.

Wkndwhorechata · 2020-07-19T22:11:52+00:00

Haven't read it, but it's all about what type of personality you work well with and are attracted to.

I agree with her. If you're a dominate/assertive/successful lady you would have a 'balanced' partnership who ideally wouldn't be competing with that or you and would he should sit down, shut up, and listen. But that dynamic comes with a slew of problems which is why we're against it.

There are tops who like tops, tops who like bottoms, bottoms who like tops and no bottom likes bottoms :)

Feminine women like masculine men. Masculine women like masculine men. Where do the feminine men go? The feminine men I know like masculine women and men.

Title	Pursuing the guy????
Author	krptonight
Upvotes	26
Comments	28
Date	July 19, 2020 10:20 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/htybvs/pursuing_the_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/pursuing-the-guy.714943 https://theredarchive.com/post/714943

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