This woman owns a house with her boyfriend of 9 years. He won’t propose to her.

FurryBellyButt0n · 2020-07-17T22:17:34+00:00

9 years is enough time to collect enough spare change on the sidewalk of a US parking lot (pre-covid) to start saving for a ring at that point

Summerisle7 · 2020-07-17T21:29:16+00:00

9 years and she’s only starting to resent him? She’s a saint.

ldonnawho · 2020-07-17T21:19:56+00:00

Some women like to really live life as the forever girlfriend. She needs restart that discussion or leave

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-07-17T23:07:08+00:00

He waiting for someone better and probably younger than him.

applestorm · 2020-07-17T23:22:07+00:00

He'll most probably leave her for the youngest woman he can find and then marry her within a year. Watch. The good sis won't leave him, not when she's "only" starting to resent him 9 years into the relationship for not proposing.

Trinityblue93 · 2020-07-17T23:49:46+00:00

People are saying why can't she be the one to propose...............

And one comment was "you guys are basically married."..............no tf they aren't.

ErikaNaumann · 2020-07-17T22:37:14+00:00

Yet another example of why you don't give wife privileges to boyfriends.

you don't move in with a boyfriend
you don't buy assets with a boyfriend
you don't adopt pets with a boyfriend

moon-drag0n · 2020-07-18T03:07:44+00:00

Bah, he probably doesn't want to get married and wants the option to leave whenever he can to find a younger version. Happened to my BF's friend; they were a couple for more than 20 years, when a new receptionist started working at their work he dumped his long term girlfriend while she was away helping her family and fucked the receptionist. She left him though. Guy has nobody now.

Eat_Pant_b0ss · 2020-07-18T01:24:14+00:00

Yeah for me, if someone doesn't propose after 2 years, it ain't moving along.

HoneyBouquet · 2020-07-17T22:24:35+00:00

9 years is the same amount of time you could get 3 degrees...

AOERN · 2020-07-18T07:07:04+00:00

Ok my ex is a really good guy, but this is pretty much our story. We lived together and worked together for almost 10 years and it took him about 8 to propose. I broke up with him 1 year after his proposal and feel like a total coldhearted turd.

I went through stages of grief after I realized years ago that he didn't want to be my future kid's Dad and he hadn't proposed to me or even eluded to it so I gave up but stayed with him anyway. Maybe I held onto the rejection?

I have been walking around since January feeling like a bad person for leaving the relationship and can't pin down what the hell is wrong with me like I did something wrong. But reading comments here it seems that most people would do the same... it's been a really bad year, I feel so confused and lost.

tiavarga · 2020-07-18T03:31:24+00:00

My friend was with a man for 10 years. He broke up with her and married a girl less than 6 months later. It practically broke her. Luckily she found love again with a childhood friend but she wasted 10 years with a fool that was never going to marry her.

My Mom said if a man doesn’t even mention marriage about a year to 1.5 years in, he will never marry you. She was always right about these things. My Mama didn’t raise no fool. I wish my friend had been given this advice.

mrose1491 · 2020-07-18T02:28:21+00:00

A marriage at this point isn’t even worth it

daisy_0720 · 2020-07-18T07:17:26+00:00

Imagine the embarrassment of being with a man for 9 years who doesn't want to marry you.

She'd be better off with just the two cats tbh.

saydeesalt · 2020-07-17T22:34:37+00:00

I wish I could read the comments 😭 link?

Saitschik · 2020-07-18T01:34:12+00:00

And what is this proposal worth if she had to pressure him into it? He is going to cheat soon. She better lawyers up and checks how she can stay with the house. That's far better than begging a man for commitment

ThrowRAshipsRhard · 2020-07-18T12:57:42+00:00

This is a long one, and I'm struggling but willing to grow.

I'm feeling so broken, this is almost me. I posted about this in relationship advice and someone sent a PM about FDS over the past day(ish) I've been lurking and I don't feel any strong affinity to the vast majority of the other posts here. This one i do:

The truth is, I am(F) 30 in February and my bf of 8 years is 29 in Feb.

2012- 2013: 1 year FBW

2013-2014: I approached him about possible living together, he wasn't ready, I respected this

2014-2015: still not ready to move in, I have 2 horrible experiences with shared accommodation and I need someone financially trust worthy to commit to an apartment so I don't end up in another blind move to a house where one of the tenants falls into drug selling under my bedroom window or trying to come into my room at night. BF thinks he will be ready soon.

2016 hey 1 year has passed and I spend most of the time at your place anyway are you ready now? You think Maybe? Okay let's look and see how you feel. Yes?! Oh my god this is amazing let's book a viewing for X apartment and see how we feel about looking for others after. OH, you changed your mind, you're NOT ready. Well then, you have one more year of figuring out what you want and if you feel ready to move in or I'm going to need to move on.

2017 - he's ready, we look at places and line one up, I'm euphoric and feel like it was worth the wait. Now I can finally concentrate on saving money for a car! I do all the leg work, admin, sort a joint account and organise the bills. "Groceries will be cheaper as we will share meals" idiot me paid for Groceries but didn't feel comfortable asking for half of the spend back because I indulged in luxury items often (I fucking love charcuterie and wine) - he's still adamant that he doesn't want kids or marriage and I'm fine with the kids thing, I'm on the fence with no hard line limit. He knows that marriage is a deal breaker for me. Late this year his firm No becomes a soft maybe one day.

2018 - I talk about cash flow and how I've still been unable to save money, I scrutinise my finances and start being blunt "I'm low on funds for Groceries" shopping was X can you give me Y towards it, its your turn to pay for shopping. No arguments my pocket is a little happier and mending but not amazing just yet.

All the while - it becomes painful for me to see proposals on TV or movies my heart breaks a little, I don't dare to dream or fantasise about the future, the prospect of buying a house comes up and I disclose that if my finances don't improve I'm never going to be able to save for a deposit so being a home owner seems like it will never happen i would like to but it just doesn't feel realistic.

Early in this year I deal with being let go from a job and BF financially supports us for a month while I job hunt and the jobs available are a little dry or I have to lower my standards so I just get A job to pay the bills because we can't survive off one pay check and I'm not entitled to help or relief from the government. Rent in our town is excessive too! I get a waiting job (I have a long history of hospitality jobs and it crushed my soul so much my mental health suffered as did my self worth) i pay my BF back the money he put in to cover my share of the bills, I want to show gratitude and appreciation but i don't want to burden him, he didn't expect repayment but appreciated it all the same. The restaurant has an accident/fire and is thrown out of action for 6 months, insurance won't pay out, I take a pay cut again and have to work for the sister caffe type restaurant. The working environment turns out to be a blessing in disguise as I make new friends and keep myself bobbing along but unable to save money again, and I'm constantly exhausted working longer and unsocial hours, drinking more to unwind and socialise after work. We spend new years at a friends house and after the stroke of midnight we kiss and embrace our anniversary like we usually do, we laugh that he was the first to say he loved me even if it took him that first year, to do it. In a moment of doe eyed hope "do you think we will ever get married" he responds in confirmation "we will" I'm shocked, startled and or some of his friends overhear, his two best friends elbow in about who has bragging rights for best man. I quietly excuse myself to the bathroom, call my best friend and cry on the bathroom floor that there's hope and overwhelming relief. I don't have to end the relationship I love, i don't have to leave the man I love and there is a future where he sees us getting married.

2019 - I start a new job March 4th, its a secure office job with a career ladder and a steady income. 17 March, our landlord serves us notice to vacate the property. No problems with us as tenants but the law is about to change and soon what he is doing kicking us out is illegal. He wants to turn our apartment into a holiday let to make more money off it. We have 2 months and no savings to find somewhere new.

Title	This woman owns a house with her boyfriend of 9 years. He won’t propose to her.
Author	cozykitty97
Upvotes	146
Comments	46
Date	July 17, 2020 9:02 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ht3u7d/this_woman_owns_a_house_with_her_boyfriend_of_9/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-woman-owns-a-house-with-her-boyfriend-of-9.715147 https://theredarchive.com/post/715147

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