🚩 Red flag: mommy’s boys 🚩

When a guy is a mommy’s boy, it means he has DADDY ISSUES. In almost 100% of cases, you’ll notice when a guy is enmeshed with his mom, the dad either isn’t in the picture or is just a LVM or passive figure in the household who lets a narcissistic mom run the show.

Why is this an issue? •When a guy is overly invested in his mom, he is not emotionally available to any other woman in his life. Countless psychologists and psychiatrists have written about this phenomenon of mother-enmeshed men who feel like they’re being unfaithful if they put the needs of their SO before their mom’s requests. Coming from that toxic family dynamic is not something easily fixed. It takes decades of therapy and the problem is, these people are not self-aware enough to know hey have a problem. They constantly project and make the poor SO feel like she’s going crazy for being “jealous” of his relationship with his mom. These guys all end up on r/JustNoMIL. Which brings me to my next point.

•Where is his dad? If a man doesn’t have a good relationship with his dad, that is an orange flag. It usually means that he didn’t grow up seeing what a HVM should act like and how a HVM is supposed to treat a woman. Clearly the dad isn’t a good husband as if he was, the narcissistic mother would not be so attention-seeking and needy to make her son feel obligated to run errands for her and make her the first priority in her life. Not having a dad or seeing a man treat a woman well can be immensely damaging if they don’t seek therapy or lack self-awareness to know their shortcomings. Have y’all ever seen a mommy’s boy speak as positively about his dad as his mom? I haven’t. There’s always resentment and issues there and it’s some BS you don’t need to involve yourself in. Date someone healthy who isn’t dependent on his mother for emotional fulfillment.

Mommy’s boy = daddy issues He is always going to lack two things

  1. The ability to be emotionally available to another woman
  2. The example in his life to show him how a HVM is supposed to be

These guys also are thoroughly entrenched in the Madonna/whore complex as no one can live up to his mom and he devalues other women he comes across because they won’t do his laundry or cook for him.

So next time you come across a mommy’s boy, especially if his parents are still married, ask yourself-what is his relationship with his dad like? I guarantee you no mommy’s boy’s parents have a healthy marriage. Being a mommy’s boy is a sign his family is dysfunctional, period. And it’s going to be a waste of your time to try to get along with any of them. They will gaslight you day and night while they normalize their dysfunction.

They also will triangulate you- the SO and mom will work together to insult, criticize and undermine your decisions.

Have you all ever noticed how self absorbed mommy’s boys are as well? They will tell you with a straight face not to wear something because his mom won’t like it. But if you tell him your dad expects your man to hold the door open and walk on the street side they have a hissy fit. They will always take their own family’s word as gold and discount whatever your side has to say. Mommy.’s boys are strangely exclusionary and try to put up an elitist front which is interesting because no one is desperate to marry into their dysfunctional families. They constantly make SOs feel less than or not good enough-just know it’s all an illusion. You’re better than all of their crazy asses anyway just by virtue of seeing right through their bullshit.

Do you believe in the myth, how he treats his mom is how he’ll treat you? Think again! He will be putting her on a pedestal while devaluing you.

There’s a difference between having a good relationship with his mom and being a mommy’s boy.

Now that you know why they’re so messed up, don’t waste a second psychoanalyzing. Drop these LVM at the first red flag.

Just try flipping things if you want to see how delusional they are-tell him your dad thinks it’s cheap how he tries to get you to buy gas and your dad wants you to be with a man who has his shit together. See how quickly he will tell you to get your family out of his business, and how quickly he will get his mother into yours. Delusional, narcissistic folks. This is meant with no shade towards anyone with less-than-ideal families. I’m just talking about LVM who live in denial and try to push their dysfunction on others while thinking they’re hot shit.