found this on facebook

girlwithabike · 2017-10-31T16:38:08+00:00

I don't think it's bad but it sounds one sided. It's a woman saying "the right guy will do all these things for me". Most of the "love is" sentences are two parts. The first part is "here is this great thing that my husband does" and the second part is "so I can be selfish". Phrased this way, it does sound like a demanding wife. It sounds like a wife who sees herself as a individual entity while her husband is part of Team Family - there to support her.

It's so hard to say that it's entirely bad though because there are things in here that my husband will do for me, and that I truly appreciate. It's part of what makes him a great guy. Run out to grab milk before bed, he'll do that without a thought and I appreciate like you wouldn't believe. But then there are things that I'll do in return (make him a sandwich for work every day - sure!). That part is missing from this description and the lopsidedness teaches girls to be selfish.

I also take issue with the second part "Young people listen"

I'm a total introvert, so giant cards and showy proposals are not in my wheelhouse. Even so, these things take thought and effort on the guys part. The suggestion that him carrying your backpack is a better sign of anything? I don't buy it. Carrying your flowery backpack is just as much of a show AND it takes far less effort.

I think it's great to tell teens (I'm assuming this is directed at teens because of the promposals) to look for more than a big show for attention but I don't think this gets at it in the right way.

selectfocker · 2017-10-31T18:20:37+00:00

But are they still having sex? Doubtful.

crapaudface · 2017-10-31T16:25:20+00:00

I puked a little then laughed hysterically

MetalDevils · 2017-10-31T16:48:47+00:00

I think this sounds horrible!

Love is far more than physical acts, and it certainly should not be defined by them. Love is also about give and take, reciprocity, and respect. By everything said here, she needs a butler, not a BF.

thatyarnqueen · 2017-10-31T16:24:43+00:00

It sounds like that wife does literally nothing but watch tv while her husband makes her lunch, cleans the dishes, and raises the kid.

Talk about one-sided and selfish.

tempintheeastbay · 2017-10-31T19:00:13+00:00

I don't understand what's wrong with this at all. It sounds one-sided because the post is specifically about what's so amazing about her husband, not about what makes for a good marriage in general. Not every piece of writing has to include both.

Plenty of stuff isn't mentioned, i.e. cleaning, making dinner, etc. so you can assume the wife in this hypothetical story is handling a lot of it.

Plus, the wife works - I don't think it's insane for the husband to pick up some household chores if the wife is also working, i.e. a 70% her 30% him split. That sounds quite reasonable.

I actually just watched a Day in The Life episode from thisgatherednest (a vlogger I love, she's a stay-at-home mom, has 7 kids many of whom she homeschools, has a great subtly faith-based channel) and her husband specifically makes their kids' lunches and often makes her coffee in the morning. I found it sweet and she obviously nonetheless pulls her weight in the household.

StepfordInTexas · 2017-10-31T19:08:37+00:00

Right off the bat, talking down to “young people” is so annoying. I actually didn’t read the whole thing, posted here, or when I saw it on Facebook. But I will say, occasionally needing a “knight in shining armor” is Red Pill.

loneliness-inc · 2017-10-31T18:55:00+00:00

Tl;dr - love is a woman being a careless, reckless, forgetful, selfish taker and a man being an indentured servant who will happily pay for it all and pick up the pieces.

Got it.

asteadyheart · 2017-10-31T18:49:27+00:00

I never watched “This Is Us” but I heard it’s a tear-jerker and that it’s about a married couple.

Strange to sit and want to watch something like that, about true love, and have your husband be in the kitchen doing dishes.

Just look at your husband and realized that you can also have that love if you just turn off the TV.

kaylin_xx3 · 2017-11-01T02:51:35+00:00

I’d be interested in more context before making a judgment on the OP of the original Facebook posts. The focus seems to be on the things her husband does, which is fine. Does she ask him to do those things, or get angry if they’re not done? Does he do them occasionally just because? My husband does a lot of nice, small things for me because I do for him too.

I guess from the Facebook post it’s not clear to me how she actually contributes without making any assumptions. Also a lot of these types of posts are directed at women/girls and finding a “good man,” so it makes sense, if that’s what she was going for, that she would focus on her husbands actions. Although I fully believe it would be 100x better if the post also encompassed being a good partner to elicit those nice actions naturally.

NoMoreMrNiceGuy47 · 2017-10-31T16:26:25+00:00

Yes, I do agree with you that this comes off as a selfish, immature and demanding woman that has delusions about what love is. All the sentences are about what "he" does for "her" but nothing about what "she" does for "him". She wants him to cater to her every need, almost intuitively while she is fine stewing in her own mediocrity, requiring no effort from her.

The thing that's the cherry on top of this post for me:

In college, this love looked like boyfriend 'Todd' running to the store for a danish I was craving, or watching me and my friends on the dance floor long after he wanted to leave the bar, or him being known across campus by the flower backpack he was carrying—which of course, was mine.

This is basically the definition of a "nice guy", someone who orbits a girl till she gives him a chance and acts like her servant because of the logic, "if I do nice things for her, of course she'll love me right?" than a determined man.

When I read things like these, it makes me realize that what women think they want and what actually appeals to them when they see it are two different things.

lilaclemons · 2017-10-31T19:34:36+00:00

Love looks a hell of a lot like taking advantage of a good man and forgoing your job as a wife/mother to be lazy/dumb

SouthernAthena · 2017-11-01T03:36:15+00:00

"How to Catch a Slave"

crapshack · 2017-11-01T04:11:37+00:00

The whole thing seems like a bunch of bullshit. Who makes their partner leave work to pay for groceries? Who does homework in the morning? Is going to a convenience store to buy milk a big deal? Lunches and coffee are courteous, I guess, but none of these things are what make me tick. The post is super condescending too. Barf.

Lucretia99 · 2017-10-31T21:36:49+00:00

I read this as “love is when your husband is a little bitch doing everything for you while you sit on the couch and get fat. Meanwhile, you don’t respect him and secretly wish you were fucking Chad Thundercock.”

The feminist dream, everyone.

NewMindRedPill · 2017-11-01T16:07:04+00:00

I think all of these things are nice when they are exceptions!

Like in all these situations imagine the wife/girlfriend sick/depressed/pmsing/exhausted. Then it seems beautiful and loving. Now imagine her totally able and just sitting around watching tv while he does these things. Not so cute, she just seems lazy.

I imagine my future as a very disciplined and hardworking wife/mother. I am constantly up and making sure the home is clean, hubby has lunch made, children are well-taken care of and I supplement their education at home. I am working so hard and every now and then something slips or I get sick. My husband sees how hard I work and as a leader decides I need a break and takes over a task or goes above and beyond to make sure he takes care of me the way a leader should. Then all those moments look beautiful to me.

Banincoming · 2017-10-31T16:36:15+00:00

What does she bring to the relationship?

drops_of_Sunshine · 2017-11-01T13:58:24+00:00

She sounds like an incompetent woman who is barely getting by as a mother and employee.... Hard to know a person from a single post but it did say she was BP, so that was my first impression. It sounds one sided. What does she do for him? How does she show love to him? And why not mention those good things? Why not give young women an example of what kind of woman to be? There are so many posts about how men should be, but I hardly see posts about what traits and morals and actions make a woman wife material. Girls need examples of who to be, not just who to date.

durtyknees · 2017-10-31T21:08:16+00:00

Thoughts?

I can't use this advice, because my husband isn't my caretaker nor my surrogate dad.

My "knight in shining armor" 's main gallant duty is bloodying his "sword" monthly, because it eases the cramps for me.

If I forgot to bring my wallet to ALDI's, my husband would wonder if I'm broken :p His first words at the checkout would be "Are you sure you're ok?" with great worry on his face.

I'm a methodical planner. I catalog everything and I err on the side of overstocking. Unscheduled cooking/baking before food expires is still better than having to randomly go out just to get a few items. Seems a waste of anyone's time, and a pain in bad weather.

privated1ck · 2017-11-02T02:19:58+00:00

You only have half the story, you don't know what she does for him. If this is true love, then the things he needs to feel like the man of the house and that his emotional, sexual, and domestic partnership needs are being met are being provided by her, with the same level of enthusiasm and selflessness. But we don't know. Maybe after he fixes the car's brakes, she comes in with a beer, a steak, and a blowjob. We don't know. Yet.

LateralThinker13 · 2017-11-01T14:24:47+00:00

I read this and immediately wanted to know what you guys thought of it. For me, this is not what true love looks like. This is what a selfish and demanding wife looks like.

I read it and before I came to this sentence, I was prepared to... argue. I won't say it's what a selfish and demanding wife looks like, I would simply say that it's half the picture.

Where is what this woman is doing for her husband/children? Is there a similar list of selfless acts and giving of her time to him?

If there is, then it's all well and good.

If there isn't (and there probably isn't) then it's an indicator that she's a spoiled child who doesn't deserve him.

EDIT: I am reminded of an article I read a long time ago on the Spearhead. It's called, "Your Feelings and Why They Don't Matter." Here's the money quote:

Ladies, the only real purpose for your feelings is to tell you there is a problem you need to fix. After that, continuing to dwell on them, or childishly forcing your partner to obsess on them with you, only keeps you from finding solutions. It may annoy him into fixing things for you, as surely as you were still laying in a crib, but at this point in your life that is only to shut you up, and leaves you less respected, and less respectable, every time it happens. And so when your man gives in to this, he isn’t meeting your emotional needs, and you certainly aren’t meeting his. All you have accomplished is pressuring him into changing your diaper.

The lady in the article is a screwup who always has her husband bailing her out. I didn't see ANYTHING about what she does for him or the family. I am not impressed. All she has is him changing her diaper.

OwnedAndLoveIt · 2017-11-06T00:33:42+00:00

This is a one sided push pull point of view that is attempting to show appreciation.

RainingGlitter28 · 2017-10-31T23:01:42+00:00

Wowww.

Title	found this on facebook
Author	MrsRaulDuke
Upvotes	33
Comments	46
Date	October 31, 2017 4:04 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/79wqdd/found_this_on_facebook/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/found-this-on-facebook.73685 https://theredarchive.com/post/73685

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