Updated to Update: I shared this here because I thought a lot of you would be pro men. It is very obvious with a lot of these comments this is not the case. When women experience mental health issues they expect to be supported. When men do they are told they need to handle it on their own. I see a double standard. I appreciate those who gave me real advice to support my husband. To those who said “leave him,” I understand your position but I invite you to question whether you hold conflicting beliefs on how men and women should be treated when it comes to mental health and their spouses. I will be talking with my husband about seeing a physician and therapist and offering to go with him to show my support. I am going to tell him how important it is to me and the future of our relationship. I will not shame him. If he isn’t in any way open to it then it will be my time to make a decision. ****

Update: I may have not made myself clear. I am looking for advice on how to help my husband. I believe he needs to see a therapist. In the past when I have brought it up he seems open to it but doesn't act. Is there something I can do to push him forward? **

My husband goes up and down. We have been together for 5 years. Most of the time he is great! He is handsome, has a good job, is thoughtful and funny. About two or three times a year, his entire life goes to shit. He stops sleeping(he is in the IT field and he will start staying up all night working on things), he starts not eating or eating junk, he becomes very irritable and he can't control his temper. It is possible he is on the spectrum of autism.

When he is like this I try to suggest he goes outside and make him healthy meals but he won't accept it. I am a very routine driven person, I wake up at the same time every day, I eat very healthy, I work out and I work full time.

Yesterday, I invited him to dinner with me and his sister(special needs) after work and as soon as he got there I knew he shouldn't have come. He kept complaining, saying he couldn't handle the noises. His sister tried to talk to him and he kept telling her to stop because he wasn't listening and needed to decompress from work. He ate a few bites of his dinner and left because he couldn't be there any longer. He arrived home before me and told me when he got home, one of our three dogs had made a mess and he lost his temper and hit the dog(the dog is fine). From what I understand, he dragged the dog by its collar and hit it. I am glad he told me and didn't hide it. He feels remorse and said himself that he needs to find the dog a new home.

Currently, I am contemplating finding the dog a new home because I don't feel responsible knowing that my husband can't control his temper with the dog. I am also questioning if he could ever handle children, something I want. He says that he would never act that way with a child but how do I believe that? I will admit, the dog is hard to handle, he has a lot of energy, can be destructive and is large. He was a stray we found a few years back and since having him, it has put a lot of extra stress in our home.

My husband subscribes to Redpill ideas and stoicism but I don't think he practices what he preaches when he gets this way. I am not really sure how to approach his behavior. I have suggested he see a therapist in the past and he hasn't gone. Is there something I could be doing to help?

TLDR: My husband's life turns to shit every few months. His temper is uncontrollable during these times. How do I help him?