Something I’ve noticed about LVM is their tendency to try to guise their indecency through “humor” and “jokes.”

They will be misogynistic, put down your appearance, and just be rude but say it in a “joking” tone. This is deliberate manipulative behavior. They pretend that it’s just them being humorous so that if you react negatively, it’s that much easier for them to minimize your feelings and make you feel like you’re overreacting. “iT wAs jUsT a JokE! jEeZ yOu’Re sEnSiTiVe”

I just curved a dude today for doing this. I was addressing my cat and telling her that she’s cute just like her mama. Despite always speaking highly of my appearance, this time he decided to say something along the lines of, “Okay, okay, calm down.” When I retorted, “I look good as hell, don’t get it twisted.” He said, “You’re alright.” In this “joking” type of tone.

I said you know what, I have better things to do right now so I’m gonna go. Then he began messaging me, “You know that I know you’re cute,” “Relax,” “Sorry if I offended you like that, come back!”

Old me would have shrugged it off. “Well…he said it was a joke, so it really isn’t that serious.” Old me would have returned to the call in a heartbeat, which would have just excused his behavior. Not this time! I made it clear that putting people down is not joke worthy and to never try to humble me or poke fun at my appearance ever again, then reclaimed my time doing something more worthwhile. It’s important that we follow through with the assertion of our boundaries or they won’t be respected. Something I unfortunately had to learn the hard way. I would assert my boundaries meekly and then somehow end up apologizing for asserting that boundary, and I would let these LVM continually disrespect my boundaries with no real repercussions.

But, yeah. I’ve had so many instances where men will be misogynistic towards other women or poke at my appearance under the guise of “humor.” And then, predictably, tell me to calm down/call me sensitive when I don’t find it funny. What’s funny to me is that they’re convinced you must be breaking down mentally when you’re simply just disagreeing with them. Also, what the hell is the deal with these men seeing a confident woman and feeling the need to humble her? It’s gross, low value behavior.