I've been lurking around this subreddit for nearly a year. There are so many threads debating generalizations related to what women want, or what men want, across the board. And I think it's ridiculous to think this way with almost 8 billion people on this planet.

I genuinely don't think these things can be generalized at all. Think about it this way, everyone has a certain demand for either of these things: looks, career, social status, etc. If you think of all of these things as an individual gauge that goes from 1-100 for each person, it will be vastly different for each person.

Jim might expect a minimum of 60 Attractiveness, 40 Social Status, 30 Career to be attracted to someone.

Larry expects at least 40 Attractiveness, 20 Social Status, 10 Career.

Jane expects 70 Attractiveness, 80 Social Status, 50 Career.

Tina expects 40 Attractiveness, 10 Social Status, 30 Career.

There are so, so many factors that this is almost impossible to generalize. Each individual person has their own gauges both in terms of what they want and what they can provide. These things are influenced by how they grew up, their culture, their friends, the experiences they've had, how they perceive themselves. What people can offer is also based on things such as genetics which is out of their control, but also how they grew up and how much they work on themselves.

The only thing that can be generalized is that everyone will want value out of the other person. And value comes out of beating those minimum requirements on their own individual gauge. Basically, whether the supply meets the demand.

So when you wonder why things aren't working out, ask yourself this: "Am I providing value to the other person?" or essentially, "Am I beating the minimum requirements of what they expect (and by how much, the more, the better obviously)".

If not, then you either work on yourself enough to beat those requirements, or you realize that you will never be able to do that no matter how hard you try and you move on to other people's gauges which are closer to what you can offer. It's also important to understand that for everyone, these things can change a lot over time.

I realize that discerning these levels is impossible, but you can at least get a feeling for it. If you're ugly and have no friends, you can't be with the Instagram hottie who's a social butterfly no matter how much you want it, and in some cases, no matter how hard you try. You're not meeting those minimum requirements in several areas.

So work on yourself and maximize what you can offer that is of value in the other person's eyes (which varies significantly), and keep trying to date other people. In many cases, you are capped in certain areas no matter how hard you work yourself, and if you constantly fail despite your effort, you are aiming way too high. It's not because women are like this or women are like that. You just can't generalize that at all.