How do you deal with being single?

VTOLfreak · 2021-02-04T04:13:51+00:00

The most lonely I have ever been in my life has been when the woman I loved gave me the cold shoulder. Never. Again.

ZephyrL0rd · 2021-02-03T19:25:09+00:00

If you think that a relationship will fix the feeling of loneliness, you are dead wrong. Imagine having a spouse, okay great, now what? Will you spam her because you can't deal with that feeling? Nice, now you cling onto her and seem needy, won't last long and if it does, its probably not healthy.

Yes, I sometimes have the passing feeling of being lonely, but its just that. A feeling. The truth is that you are the only one in your mind since the start and all the way till the finish line of your life. The only way to get rid of that feeling in any way, is to enjoy yourself in any way. Set up a medium difficulty goal and enjoy the journey.

Being single or a couple really doesn't change much of your overall human being, besides having more responsibilities to take care of and getting rewarded in the form of sex.

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2021-02-03T08:47:44+00:00

When it comes to being single, I simply reflect on the alternative and rather enjoy my freedom and solitude.

I don’t miss the shit tests, or the neediness, or the random obstacle courses just to get in a few minutes of sticky friction. I don’t miss sacrificing the little free time I truly have after kids / errands / work. I don’t miss blowing money on a system that only values me solely based on my ability to provide.

Klotzek · 2021-02-03T22:27:35+00:00

Im an introvert so alone time is very relaxing and i can be in my own thoughts. I meet friends, relatives and my parents. Some of my friends are female and one i meet from time to time has sex with me and we do sometimes things that usually couples do. So i get the GF experience without the negatives and have to invest literally 0 in order to get this things. Sometimes i have sex with other woman when there is the oppurtunity or i go to hookers. The one and only real love i experienced was to my dog who sadly passed away last year. He loved me unconditionally and was my best friend. Dogs are mens best friend and i saw it as my highest duty to take care of him and provide an awesome life to him. Beeing single is a double edged sword but there is a saying: Marry or not, in the end you will regret both.

CuriousIncel2 · 2021-02-04T00:04:40+00:00

By finding out that the alternatives are even worse.

Solo_and_Simple · 2021-02-04T00:02:52+00:00

I'm very rarely lonely. I used to be, when I was younger, but for the past 15-20 years or so (I'm 59 now), it's just not a problem. I have a dog, and that's enough live-in companionship for me. I've actually found my relationships with dogs to be deeper and more profound than those with women.

I'm not sure how I arrived here, exactly (comfortable being single, that is). I'll make this short, but here are some of the factors that contributed:

Overcoming the neuroses and insecurities that fueled my need/craving for women. That was big. I can count about half a dozen different "issues" that I had, which amplified my need for women. Once I resolved those (which took a while!), my "need" for women dropped off dramatically.
I'm naturally very introverted, internally directed. Most of the things I like to do are solitary. Occasional one-on-one or group discussions are fun, but just for a short time, then I want to get by myself again. Other people (I'd say most) are more extroverted, more externally oriented, and so naturally need more social interaction to keep them happy/balanced. I only need about one or two decent, in-person social interactions per week to keep me humming.
Getting older helped. A lot of this is based on the push of hormones and the neurochemistry that follows it. It's your genes, making women and pair bonding seem incredibly essential and important. Once the hormones die down and you're of a certain age (45+ or so), it doesn't matter that much. You see women as a source of potential companionship, not much different than a friend or a dog, and not as some golden chalice.
Getting older also causes women your age to get older (go figure). The Wall. Most of the available single women become much less attractive by the time you're older. So there's very little motivation, because there's no romantic-sexual pull anymore.
I got used to it. Living single (happily) is a skill. It's a challenge. It requires things that, honestly, most men can't manage -- e.g., the ability to face your existential aloneness, to make all your own decisions and take full responsibility, to structure all your time yourself, to find meaning in life outside of conventional routes of marriage and family, to support your own self-esteem despite society's messages, etc. It's not an easy path. Without boasting, I think I've managed to do it, but it has required plenty of inner work, and there were many years of struggle and suffering. I'm in a good place now, but it took me a long time to get there. But the more years I lived single (i.e., not in a romantic relationship), the easier it got, and the more satisfying it became.
Experience with relationships. Understanding that they weren't all they were cracked up to be. There is a lot of mythology surrounding them, a lot of inflated expectations for what they can provide. And they also require a lot of work and sacrifice. It's hard to feel lonely if you realize that you're really not "missing out" on something all that great.

Frequentbadideas · 2021-02-03T15:01:37+00:00

I spent 17 of the loneliest years of my life married to a woman I couldn't stand. Loneliness is a state of mind not a byproduct of the number of people in an area.

I'm divorced and my only company is my daughter when I have her. It's honestly the best time of my life. I do what I want when I want. Remember that being alone doesn't have to be lonely.

theoracleofosiris · 2021-02-03T09:11:51+00:00

Loneliness comes and goes just like any other feeling. Life is all about trade offs. It’s peaceful too but that also comes and goes. Gotta take the bad with the good for every road you take.

redditloginfail · 2021-02-03T13:45:19+00:00

By not having my chest tighten up every time she opens her damn mouth.

Also i have a dog.

xinxinel · 2021-02-03T10:54:08+00:00

been single for years, loneliness is a state of mind

do something

Brian-_S · 2021-02-03T10:16:07+00:00

I like being alone most people annoy me because of what they talk about, do, or what they are into, I only want to be bothered when I feel like it. I like doing what I want. And I enjoy played dumb when women are interested in me lol.

I spend my free time gaming when Im sick of that I watch movies, go bowling (before virus) look up info for other hobbies I wanna pick up and so on.

It's not bad being single after I accepted being with a girl doesn't mean happiness and often means the man working extra hard like second job hard. It was pretty easy to be single. And if I really wanted to be around people I can go find a group of gamers online that play what I play boom new friends

anon_likes_tendies · 2021-02-03T13:50:53+00:00

I look at how much money i save by not going on dates and pandering for a hole.

Impossible-asset · 2021-02-03T16:11:29+00:00

I'm not lonely, because i LIKE being by myself.

Easy peasy.

Solo413 · 2021-02-03T17:57:29+00:00

A relationship is only needed if you need to procreate.

Being single is the norm

Develop skills. A. For fun. B. For wealth. If you are bored. Develop skills.

casra888 · 2021-02-03T14:17:15+00:00

Very happily married. Seriously, I hit the lottery. I know full well, I beat the odds. Don't do what I did.

ElViajante · 2021-02-03T12:50:17+00:00

single is the default, how could it be something to be dealt with?

ruifaf · 2021-02-03T20:33:38+00:00

in my 7y relationship living together I never felt so lonely like the last 2y

I live alone for 5y now. yes sometimes I feel blue. but then i remember how bad it was and the issues my friends have with their spouses/girlfriends and I instantly fell AWESOME

Massgumption · 2021-02-04T00:53:34+00:00

Cause relationships aren't real, and you're falling for an "idea" that doesn't exist, there is no such thing as soul mates...biologically speaking it makes sense for a guy to love a woman because she needs this "brainwash" to get another creature to serve her whilst she's pregnant and immobile, it is however unnecessary for a woman to love a man.

And guess what? They don't. Women don't feel love for men, they desire men like you would something useful, but not love. Never love. Not until they have children and biology needs another creature to take care of another.

Once you understand this, you'll stop seeking things in places they don't exist.

JusW4naRetireFk · 2021-02-03T16:17:07+00:00

There’s nothing to deal with, all your finances are covered and you can do whatever you want. Hard to feel lonely when you’re enjoying life!?!

NotherThrowaway284 · 2021-02-03T13:48:18+00:00

It gets lonely when you are single.

Maybe for you. I don't feel loneliness.

mastadave420 · 2021-02-03T13:45:10+00:00

Uhhh what is there to deal with?

burnett-lignon · 2021-02-03T12:37:24+00:00

I get great satisfaction and peace of mind from being single, with rarely even a twinge of loneliness. It's wonderful to make choices with no discussion; I in no way miss the constant compromises that were a condition of my 20+ year marriage . Even from childhood I've always enjoyed my own company and today my 3 dogs provide all the domestic companionship I need. I have a few good friends with common interests and enjoy socializing once in a while, but I'm always glad to get back to my solitude.

maxime80150 · 2021-02-03T11:15:59+00:00

If you are not happy alone, being in a relationship won't make you happier.

What do you lack of ? Love ? If you have children, they will love you, they will always love their father. If you have a dog, you will be surprised how much an animal can give you in terms of love and affection. If you have real eternal friends, they do love you.

As for the sex, believe me for less than 2000 dollars nowadays, every TPE premium sex doll will give you more fun than a real lady. Also it won't break your wallet constantly.

cleats4u · 2021-02-03T17:50:10+00:00

Yep nothing like being with a woman who is never around. And when she is around she is not with you. There are worse thing in life than loneliness?

UnearthlyDinosaur · 2021-02-03T19:10:08+00:00

You realize that being in a relationship with a woman would be miserable

Zilo88 · 2021-02-03T19:30:30+00:00

Try to locate people like me.

2021-02-03T23:41:04+00:00

My mom always used to tell me that it is better to be alone than in bad company.... and that one does not necessarily have to feel lonely when they are alone.

Take the time you are single to develop a love affair with yourself! Get into new hobbies and social clubs, work on your health and wealth, etc. Get to know yourself better and take this time to develop yourself as a person. There’s always room for growth and challenging yourself!

I was a serial dater for many years and then a few years ago I became single for the first time. While there was an adjustment period, please know that time certainly healed the initial feeling of loneliness. It ended up being one of the happiest and most care free times of my life. I learned so much about myself during that time (2 1/2 yrs). So much so, that by the time a potential for a new relationship came about, I was confident and knew what I wanted in a partner as well as the kind of person I wanted to be in a relationship — it let me weed out a lot of bullshit and people who would not be compatible long term in the end. It made for a much healthier and happier version of myself.

Dopey_Dad · 2021-02-03T10:19:36+00:00

I love my solitude. Although I get to interact with friends and people at work, I’m happiest on my own. I have a higher calling other than external relationships.

plamplamthrow0321 · 2021-02-04T18:25:05+00:00

Watch porn, jerk off, then remember that I like and prefer being single during post nut clarity.

treesisnicesoothing · 2021-02-03T12:13:01+00:00

Stay in office till late night.

Extra projects. Volunteer at NGOS.

universe_speaks · 2021-02-03T16:33:48+00:00

What's there to deal with? Best company

ItsKaptainKilljoy · 2021-02-04T01:57:30+00:00

To quote Don Draper, love is something invented by marketing companies to sell nylons.

The idea that you are supposed to accomplish all of your social needs with a romantic partner is a social construct - and a very recent one, dating back to the mid 1800s at the earliest. For instance, If you were a Roman soldier, you'd spend 25 years of your life roaming the world with your comrades, and visit your wife only on rare hiatuses until you retired.

I've found that having friends, family and dogs around accomplishes 99% of my social needs better than the ex wife did. We all have varying needs for connection, but expecting a romantic relationship to solve that for you, both comprehensively and permanently, is wishful thinking. It has never worked that way.

Jerrome123 · 2021-02-04T06:23:57+00:00

Goals and be using my ex like a puppet until she hit the wall

2021-02-04T07:29:56+00:00

Nothing more lonely than trying to force a relationship with someone while they play games, manipulate you , have orbiters on call 24/7 for attention online . The things you think you miss about relationships when you are single are the things is just chemicals in your brain trying to force you to pair bond and mate with someone as it's in our nature . However we all know that the modern women and the modern world is no place for relationships.

Perseus_the_Bold · 2021-02-04T07:37:51+00:00

You are asking the wrong question here.

Being single is how we deal with the the shit in the world.

As MGTOW being single is the solution NOT the problem. There is no loneliness in freedom. If being single makes you feel lonely then it's only because you are still enslaved to women and their absence torments you like some form of withdrawal. You need to free yourself from women, truly free yourself, like a crack addict kicking the addiction.

Such_Temporary_9597 · 2021-02-03T16:36:43+00:00

This isn't for everyone man....you can go back if you want we'll be here when you come back

2021-02-03T23:32:14+00:00

Couldn't give a fuck. 31. Very good looking, have a lot going for me, travelled the world, saved money,

I just wanna eat ramen and drink coffee.

DontBegDontBorrow · 2021-02-04T06:17:15+00:00

I don't get lonely, I get horny.

EtherealBipolar · 2021-02-04T09:08:38+00:00

I study, metalwork, and sometimes play video games.

Before the "2 weeks to slow the spread" that never ended I used to go for runs, too.

daniellederek · 2021-02-04T13:40:48+00:00

By sleeping peacefully diagonally on a queen size bed every night

[deleted] · 2021-02-03T18:13:53+00:00

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nihilismMattersTmro · 2021-02-03T17:03:14+00:00

well are you talking sexytime or just wanting someone around?

You can have sexytime all you want and then leave the area.

Friends family and neighbors in my building squash any feelings of loneliness

kkdaop · 2021-02-03T15:59:27+00:00

When im single. I mean life's good hahaha

19780521reddit · 2021-02-03T17:00:46+00:00

friends you know ?

[deleted] · 2021-02-03T16:26:59+00:00

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[deleted] · 2021-02-03T15:36:10+00:00

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[deleted] · 2021-02-03T15:26:57+00:00

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[deleted] · 2021-02-03T09:25:03+00:00

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[deleted] · 2021-02-03T13:48:38+00:00

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Dipdrizzle · 2021-02-03T10:02:10+00:00

Casual sex

Metalcrazyx · 2021-02-03T19:29:05+00:00

" It gets lonely when you are single"

No.

sporty_outlook · 2021-02-03T20:49:59+00:00

Lmao. I literally don't have any time being single. Workout 5 times a week. Play basketball with bros, and and code a lot to sharpen my kind as well. Learn about investments, travel the world, etc. Etc. Etc. I'd you are not with the right woman, your. Life will get worse .

TravaPL · 2021-02-03T21:14:50+00:00

I simply live with the pain

Gaddammitkyle · 2021-02-04T00:01:26+00:00

I'd rather be alone than spend time with a woman who doesn't actually love me and desire me.

brandanfromhell · 2021-02-04T00:11:18+00:00

live life

Eumemoriginal · 2021-02-04T03:20:47+00:00

please note, not just for op, but for everyone: being alone does not mean lonely, i always feel lonely, even when im in a room full of people i know, alone and lonely are two different things, and some people might like being alone, that's why i don't care about not being in a relationship

another thing is, ask yourself, what does a relationship add to your life? what good does it bring? ask yourself, is it worth it? is being with someone going to make you feel less lonely?

throawayusedd · 2021-02-04T14:21:15+00:00

Understand something now before this feeling gets you somewhere stupid. Everything you experience in this life is alone. Nobody will experience something with you the same way you do. Even the people at your deathbed. They will be a part of that experience, but will not go through it with you.

So learn to accept yourself as the individual and keep yourself better company than anyone else. Find like minded individuals to enjoy experiences with, but never try to fit in or allow your individuality to be overshadowed. When you are ok with you, alone isnt so bad along as you're by yourself. True aloneness is being surrounded by people who make you feel alone.

safado99 · 2021-02-04T16:03:09+00:00

Deal with it? Same way a guy deals with a relationship. Minus the BS and ownership of your life by the state, if you happen to be legally married. I'd say one has to cultivate friendships and trusted relationships to others in a careful way. That translates into dealing with life and the many curves it will throw you. Just my .02.

sacandbaby · 2021-02-04T21:10:37+00:00

Lots of electronics, premium channels, streaming services, and my best friend my cat.

If I get robbed, take everything but leave my cat, and I will be happy.

EvenExperience6031 · 2021-02-05T13:48:58+00:00

Just consider that most married men are lonely and slaves.

GTFO_Lmao · 2021-02-06T09:06:30+00:00

Relationships in my life have all had expiration dates. Some lasted longer than others. The only common denominator was me. The women came and left as they pleased. Since I’m the only one still around, I’ve gotten accustomed to being in tune with what I want. I no longer really want a distraction of a relationship.

From my experience, relationships come in stages. A beginning, middle, and end. It takes time and energy to seek this process. Is it worth it? It depends. It nice to have good memories of times spent with women. But it’s also better to have accomplishments. If I had not chased relationships, my life could be much different. It is what it is now.

Loneliness is easily countered with filling your time with things you want to accomplish. When you have a scheduled time to get something done, you don’t want to waste a millisecond of your day on anything else. Relationships are hedonistic time wasters. They can be pleasant, no doubt, but they end. It’s better to get shit done. Once it’s done, see if you want to fill that loneliness with a woman. If it doesn’t work out, accomplish something else. You will be a better person in the end.

If you put too much of yourself into someone else, you will be on the other end of the spectrum. You will be unhappy your neglected yourself.

Ajirakimberly · 2021-02-07T13:12:40+00:00

Do what I did.. get a cat (or Dog, if that's your thing). The cat provides companionship, is always happy to see you, cuddles with you... makes you feel loved.

For more uhm "intimate needs"... well there's establishments for that.

almost_strange · 2021-02-03T09:51:07+00:00

Find a girl. Simple

Title	How do you deal with being single?
Author	BenTennyson2101
Upvotes	33
Comments	95
Date	February 3, 2021 8:19 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/lbizxv/how_do_you_deal_with_being_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/how-do-you-deal-with-being-single.802446 https://theredarchive.com/post/802446

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