Where do you seek support?

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-07-11T01:04:22+00:00

I confided in a close friend who was divorced. I didn't tell my family until divorce was final.

Don't use your attorney as a therapist unless you like burning money.

There are very few online communities for divorcing/divorced men. Not to shit on this sub, but very few posters are active longer than their own divorce so there's little opportunity to pass on divorce wisdom. I also spend time on forum.mensdivorce.com, which has been around for 20 years. Many of the vets have been there 10+ years. Hope it helps.

Its_a_stateofmind · 2021-07-11T00:54:49+00:00

Myself, Dog, Close friends, Family.

In that order.

FoxWitz · 2021-07-11T00:51:46+00:00

What would you recommend? Once your life has a void in the center that turns into a blackhole how do you make yourself whole again?

Living an empty life I have experienced so far is not good since a longing for some kind of self identity is needed after what we once were is lost. It is like walking around blind folded and hoping you don’t bump into anything. How do you find the light and bring ourselves into our full potential and not make things worse?

Bipolar_investor · 2021-07-11T00:07:20+00:00

In you. Nobody will help. Trust me. Only you, can unlock your self support system.

chessgopoker1 · 2021-07-11T03:40:36+00:00

I'm writing a book on this very subject, as another poster said, men generally only stay active on divorce forums until they are over it. I personally had a few sessions with a licensed therapist to orient myslef, then did the work myself onward. I talked to one family member during the hardest parts. But everyone's grieving formula is different but the steps are in broad strokes the same. This too shall pass. May take a couple years post divorce to be happy again as there have been studies that after traumatic events it takes 1-2 years to return to baseline.

dad_bod_cargo_shorts · 2021-07-11T13:00:24+00:00

Surprised therapy wasn't mentioned. Talking to a neutral third party really helped me.

No_more_BPD_2020 · 2021-07-11T04:06:04+00:00

DDay is spot on. I've kinda left this sub since my divorce finalized.

I talked to a therapist, coach, spiritual advisor, and a few guys that had been through it. Friends and family mostly just got a thumbnail sketch, except for a few instances where that desperate need to talk got the best of me and some things slipped out. I think I damaged some relationships that way. Nobody wants to be around negative energy, so I save it for the professionals. To the rest of the world, I'm better off saying we amicably split and are moving forward.

SirOssis · 2021-07-11T02:51:08+00:00

I have friends who are not friends with my ex wife. I can share all the details with them. Anyone in our shared social/professional circle will only get the most basic story of why we are getting divorced. I also am a big believer in therapy. It isn’t a weakness to have someone to talk to. I also enjoy sharing and helping others on forums such as Reddit. My ex was a covert narcissist so there are online blogs/websites that offer insight into that as well.

TheBoyBand · 2021-07-13T07:22:20+00:00

Here!!!!

pegleg_legal · 2021-07-12T04:54:01+00:00

Pre-divorce: Another dude who's been through a nasty one and then lawyer

Mid-divorce: Same dude, lawyer, therapist, divorce coach

Red-zone divorce: therapist, lawyer

Post-divorce: therapist

email68 · 2021-07-11T05:29:38+00:00

Google divorce care. Local groups meet for a multi week program.

DivorcedConfused · 2021-07-11T05:28:07+00:00

This sub, family, friends, other divorced people I meet and talk to.

Refiguring-It-Out · 2021-07-11T04:04:07+00:00

Celebrate Recovery, Sampson Society

WartimeDad · 2021-07-11T02:02:59+00:00

You’re here! This is about as good as it gets for us. At some point we should band together and provide more resources for men going through hell.

Title	Where do you seek support?
Author	espinelte
Upvotes	18
Comments	33
Date	July 10, 2021 11:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ohtjfr/where_do_you_seek_support/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/where-do-you-seek-support.816534 https://theredarchive.com/post/816534

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