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gave random girl at gym a card with my name and number

Reddit View
August 29, 2018
123 upvotes

https://imgur.com/gallery/ASE9HJH

she texts me back later. honestly wasnt expecting a response. was really just using her for practice at getting used to rejection. figure that all the good ones are taken. ive kinda set a goal for myself to approach to and talk to a random girl at least once every 24 hours.

thoughts on her response?


Post Information
Title gave random girl at gym a card with my name and number
Author Rhalium
Upvotes 123
Comments 80
Date 29 August 2018 07:14 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/903
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9b720e/gave_random_girl_at_gym_a_card_with_my_name_and/
Similar Posts
Comments

[–]moneymakingmiguel398 points399 points  (2 children) | Copy

Her response? Irrelevant. You approaching? Relevant. Keep it up.

[–]CookieAdmiral57 points58 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol, best comment I saw today.

[–]Jay_x_Playboy15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

My man

[–]SteveStJohn146 points147 points  (11 children) | Copy

Her response is a request to join your orbit. Let her. Others will notice this girl approaching you at gym. Reward her for that every time and you'll create a mystique about yourself.

Females are more motivated by what other females do than anything else. It will create a success spiral of an increasing number of females being interested in you because other females are interested in you.

Who knows, she might get caught up in it herself in a few months.

Good luck!

[–]bxredpill57 points58 points  (9 children) | Copy

Jordan Peterson talks about this a lot. He always references this phenomenon as the Pareto Distribution.

Basically boils down to this: “To those at the top, more will be given, and to those at the bottom everything will be taken.”

Pretty crazy shit. Or maybe I’m just fanboying. Lol

[–]fender187830 points31 points  (2 children) | Copy

Pareto refers to the 80/20 rule. I’m not sure I agree with the correlation to your quote. You’re actually quoting the Bible — Matthew 13:12.

The Pareto Distribution simply means that 20% of people create/cause 80% of the output. At work, 20% of the employees do 80% of the work. At a dinner party, 20% of the guests will eat 80% of the shrimp cocktail. 20% of guys get 80% of the woman.

Pareto doesn’t necessarily mean that being at the top guarantees you more or that being at the bottom gets more taken from you. I think you’re conflating two topics.

[–]bxredpill3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah seems like I am. I was trying to emphasize the point made above me, that success breeds more success.

Guess I gotta learn to be more precise in my speech.

Cheers bro

[–]fender18781 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No worries man! And I agree with your overall assessment. Success leads to more success — it’s contagious.

[–]Casanova-Quinn4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's more so "preselection" than what you described. A man who gets female attention makes other women interested because he has been deemed attractive by other women. In other words, good reviews interest more buyers.

[–]SteveStJohn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Matthew 13:12

[–]OfficerWade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Life happens in the middle, you don’t have to live when you get out of from the bottom to the top.

If you need any proof of that look at the guys here who are approaching women. They didn’t wait for their retirement. Or the right girl. They made it happen.

[–]Morphs_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“To those at the top, more will be given, and to those at the bottom everything more will be taken.”

This is more accurate, but basically this statement is true in all of life, old and new. It's why the rich get richer and the poor stay poor. It's why popular streamers get more and more viewers and subscribes and those at the botten are stuck with only a few.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

from those in the bottom

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Muh Jordan Peterson

[–]Bing_Bang_Bam0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Herd mentality. Female is NOT the future

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev48 points49 points  (6 children) | Copy

You need to work on your approach technique, but other than that you did fine...better than most guys who wouldn't approach. "Take Your Shot" sometimes fucks fair lady; "The Moment Wasn't Right" rides the bus home and beats off.

[–]Rhalium 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

currently readin the book of pook. just got past the part where going up and saying literally anything is better than saying absolutley nothing and not talking. perfect is boring. go up and talk or you missed your chance.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe not literally anything, but approaches are organic. To much planning out can trip you up. What if she diverges from the script? Hint: This will happen 99% of the time.

Even if your opener is, "Hi, my name is Rhalium. What's your name?" it's enough to get the conversation going. Conversations are organic and you have to learn to think on your feet.

The bottom line is that approaching is skills-based. The only way to improve is to go out and do it, then go over the game film, figure out what went wrong, what went right, etc. Don't punish yourself for mistakes, learn from them.

Yesterday, I opened a girl with "Hey, how are you?" and we went on what amounted to an "instant date". Turns out she's single (or was for me) and I knew I had an in because she's close to 6' tall and I'm taller than she is, if only barely. I write and perform original music and - what luck! - I happen to have 3-4 of my songs on my phone, so pretty soon it's apparent that I've got something going on in my life. For 99% of guys it doesn't matter what is is, but have something, some interesting hobby or work, that you can talk about. Work on your "elevator" speech and you will be fine.

And bear in mind that most women are going to reject you....but you wanna know who get's laid the most? The guys who get rejected the most...because they're approaching.

[–]empatheticapathetic12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not if he’s on nofap!

[–]firagabird0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Tried that for a week. Granted it was my first deliberate attempt, but by the end I was a raging ball of horniness. If I don't beat myself off every other day at most, I stop thinking about anything but sex, and it bleeds over into my reactions with girls (in a very creepy, needy way).

[–]NeedingAdvice8621 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy

This post surely brought out the bitter, jaded cynics on the forum...bhahahhahahahahha, lots of butthurt floating around in the responses.

She sounds like she might be somewhat naïve\young but thoughtful girl who isn't use to PUA or having random guys approaching her as you did....she is letting you down nicely instead of just ghosting as most women will do which is usually a sign of a girl who hasn't much experience. I would not get in a texting contest with her at all...just simple "thanks" or something. And just follow the advice of a couple of the more sane responses, to be chill with her\friendly and see if you can use her for social proof at the gym. It never hurts at the gym to be seen as safe at the gym with other women......it is a place where women guards are on force 10 because of all the test and bravado floating around most of them.

This post though can serve as a good lesson that in this forum, women CAN NEVER WIN.....you can see in the comments that the responses range from anger that she didn't immediately take up you on your offer for a fucking to calling her a cheating whore to her BF for responding to you at all.....it should tell you to always consider the biases and cynicism of the advice being given to you here. In the eyes of the vast majority of the responders, this girl lost as soon as you gave her the card, there was nothing she could have done which would have gotten thru their bitterness at what ever girl sent them here.

Think about that when evaluating any advice on the forum....

[–]markinsinz714 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is extremely sad about how right you are. It is what it is today. We are all super jaded from the mess of hookup culture. I think the girl did a nice thing. So much depends on her internal feelings towards her bf to judge if what she did is wrong or not. But we'll never know nor does it matter.

But the state of this sub, sigh. Can't complain we r growing by the 1000s every week. The old mentors/ECs are all gone. The end game of this subreddit is to leave once you've gotten what you want.

[–]vanillabeanface0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t understand what you mean about women can never win?

[–]NeedingAdvice860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just that reading thru the comments you can quickly see that this girl got eviscerated by posters for every imaginable course of action which were open to her....

So REGARDLESS of what she did after getting the number from the Op, she was bad and a sign of the "evils" of women. And if she had ghosted the Op like most girls would have done...the reaction would have been the same.

Read thru the comments.....more to understand the biases of the posters than their comments toward the woman and her actions.

Personal thought on what she did....
She was a slightly naïve, likely young girl who was actually pleasantly surprised and appreciative that the Op was attracted to her and had the nerve to take his shot....so the text explaining that she was committed to her BF and wasn't going to cheat, but that the Op should keep looking and not stop taking his shot which would work with another girl....end of story. There wasn't some grand scheme to use the Op or make him an orbiter...blah, blah, blah.

This is the exact type of behavior that the resident bitters claim that a proper woman should take in responding to approaches but look at the reactions....she was anywhere from a cheating slut for responding at all to she was the evil of all evil....trying to make him an orbiter. Can you think of a response from this girl which would have gotten her praise from those posters?

Nothing more.

[–]CainPrice22 points23 points  (4 children) | Copy

Ignore. She's not interested, you don't have time to be pen-pals with her, and you were after sex, not verbal praise and validation.

But take her advice and keep approaching women.

Maybe you see her at the gym again, in which case, don't be weird and awkward. Be friendly. Even a little flirty. There's a chance, albeit a very slim one, that you might be able to fuck this one. Don't bank on it. Keep fucking other girls in the mean time. But vaguely keep her on your radar.

She's not a good girlfriend. A good girlfriend wouldn't get hit on by a guy at the gym, then send a long string of texts to the guy. She'd tell you, on the spot, that she's taken, or just thank you for your number and never text you. Do you think she told her boyfriend that some guy hit on her at the gym today? And that she was going to text him back to encourage him? Fuck no. She's pussying around behind her boyfriend's back sending texts to some guy who hit on her. Regardless of whether her intentions are good or not, that's not something good girlfriends do. And bad girlfriends are sometimes able to be fucked.

[–]econquest6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ignore.

But take her advice.

(But ignore.)

[–]markinsinz74 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm surprised this is you who's saying this Cain. Considering the girl you're currently dating. Like yea girls are generally shitt but I can see the genuine thanks from that girl at the gym. She probably has some history with anxiety and is aware how ballsy it is. Assume the worst is fine but keeping an open mind too is necessary. I would become friends with this girl who probably has a ton of hot friends.

[–]Andorli2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great advice, unlike some AlphaThunderMachoCock's on here.

OP Should definitely become friends with the girl, since she seems genuine enough to respond to his approach in a very polite manner. It was nice gesture on her side and it wouldn't hurt OP to become friends since she can provide a lot of benefits to him such as Preselection, Hot Friends, Good Company etc.

Assume the worst is fine but keeping an open mind too is necessary

Can't stress this enough. Since 90% of TRP is butthurt, people tend to give advice for the worst scenario as it is the only thing that happen. Oh she texted you something? What a Slut. Oh she has friends outside of work? Wow what a Slut. Oh She is doing nice in her career? Probably sucked 10 dicks to get there. Etc. etc. etc.

OP take every advice on TRP with a grain of Salt since you never know who is behind the screen that is giving it to you. It can be somebody who bangs models every weekend, but more probably than not it is somebody who came on TRP since he got cheated, dumped or was a push over and now is compensating for his insecurities by excessive machismo and following some pseudo set of red pill rules that he thinks make him alpha.

[–]Peter_B_Long2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Did you go up to her, give her the card without saying anything, and then walk away?

I wouldn't recommend using this tactic for future approaches. This is a weak way of trying to get a girls attention.

I fear that just because you were lucky and got a friendly (not flirty) response, you'll continue to repeat this approach.

Most girls are going to think you're afraid of them. Instead of giving them a card with your information, just give them your name and ask for their number. This way girls will think you're a confident attractive man and not a shy sweet guy.

[–]Rhalium 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

walked up and said, hi my names so and so, whats yours? she replied, then gave her the card.

[–]MisterDSTP0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Damn son that makes it kinda worst and creepy. Why not just asl her for her number?

Do you just have a stack of cards in your pocket at the gym with your info?

[–]-saltymangos-0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

what was the response? he deleted it

[–]MisterDSTP0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Think he walked up said hi, exhanged names and then gave her the pre-written card and walked away.. it just felt creepy like. He had full opportunity to chat her up but instead went back to stretching by himself.

[–]-saltymangos-0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

mhh i’m a rookie by all means but i would have done something like:

she’s walking out get her attention and say “you dropped something” and give her the card. don’t know if that’s any better though

[–]MisterDSTP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah neither of them were leaving which made it weird

[–]spiceb0ss2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why the fuck are you handing out a business card to girls you want to fuck holy shit

[–]GrimTRP3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ignore her text, talk to her at the gym still. Be a little flirty.

Good job on approaching, I'm proud of you son

[–]trexgomez 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

The fuck she's in a long term relationship. If she was she wouldn't have reached out. It's just an antislut defence. At best she's cheating.

[–]bluechipmonk37 points38 points  (3 children) | Copy

cuz she will be seeing him at the gym all the time so that's why she politely reached out instead of ghosting

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can you feel jadedness in here? This makes perfect sense. Smoothijg over possible conflict/awkwardness with politeness. She could have been a bitch about it like many a woman, but didn't.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This

[–]omega_dawg932 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

in street lingo, "she can get got."

[–]Jesusonacake0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Gotcha now I understand

[–]Andorli-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who hurt you this much?

[–]Casanova-Quinn1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm curious about this situation. Did you just hand this girl a card without saying anything? Was it an actual business card with just your name and number? I want to hear more details.

[–]ValorElite1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wholesome TRP

[–]alvaro101016 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not LTR material, but PLATE material. Go ahead. But beware of orbiting.

[–]helaughsinhidden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Preselection still applies if you meet up with her and her group of friends. Where there's one, there's usually more.

[–]1UnluckyPenguin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One thing worth following through with would be to 'friendzone' girls, they could even be cute ones, but it will grant you access to their hot friends (and parties, and bros, etc).

That's how I met my wife. Our mututal friends kept secretly reminding her I was a player, which always seems to work in your favor. Girls want what other girls want.

[–]4thAndLong0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would keep approaching her at the gym. Don't orbit though. Keep her on friendly terms. She seems like plate material.

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Be friendly, take it all at face value. However she wouldn't have texted if but she didn't see you as a suitable man. If she ends up single one day, you may be on her mind. Otherwise just say hello when you see her and go about your business

[–]Jace9100 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He's definitely a rebound for sure. Might even dick her down while shes still with her old man.

[–]Toxik60 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

You didn’t talk to her at all? Just walked up handed your card and left?

[–]Rhalium 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

walked up. said, hi my names rhalium, whats yours? she replies. i then give her the card and walk away.

[–]Toxik6-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think it’s pretty smooth

[–]-saltymangos-1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

what’d OP do? he deleted it

[–]Jace9100 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know how I feel about this sort of approach but goddamn you got balls and confidence. Hopefully the next one blows you.🐐

[–]kabuto_mushi0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How did you give it to her OP, I'm curious. Like did you introduce yourself?

[–]vanillabeanface0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think this is sweet and should be taken humbly. It sucks that she’s taken but maybe her reaching out was something like a, “if I could, I would” mentality?

[–]furcryingoutloud0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

figure that all the good ones are taken

No, all the good ones are busy with present turn. This one wrote to you probably for her own validation, or maybe she just wants to keep your number for another turn. It's never as sweet as it looks.

Good job on the approach. Better a lame approach than none at all. I would never give out a number with no conversation, it usually just doesn't work. Somebody said she may want you to orbit, for god's sake do not become an orbiter to her. Treat her civilly, but otherwise ignore her. She may yet come around goaded by her curiosity.

[–]upononerp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Unless you turn this conversation around and can plate her quickly, this is a horrible text.

What would cause a woman you approach to feel the need to encourage you to keep working on your game?

She could smell your desperation and you’re so harmless she felt comfortable sharing these ‘words of encouragement’

I’m not trying to shit on the scenario, you should keep approaching, but this chick is total bullshit if she isn’t beating around the bush and wants to get it on. Why even text if she’s not?

[–]BlackMarmoset[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like the approach, I don't like hitting girls at your gym.

[–]APSTNDPhy-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Weird she would reply if she's actually in a ltr

[–]Eirineftis13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not really.

[–]JerryLawlerPigFace-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’d invite her out somewhere anyway really heavily emphasizing that it’s casual, so it gives her some plausible deniability. Then escalate anyways, because she wouldn’t go out if she wasn’t interested. Nor would she text you either.

[–]oytrp-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You sound like a nice guy.

Why are you giving out your number? You're supposed to take their number.

[–]calm_boy-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Its good that you approached, but i would honestly advise you to try to limit approaches at gym. You should be concentrating on working out and your goals. Everything comes later. You don't want shit where you work out. Anyways everything is a learning experience.

[–]blacwidonsfw-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably the nicest way you will be let down. She is taking pitty on you which isn't a great sign

[–]menial_optimist-5 points-4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Id prob just not respond then act indifferent toward her at the gym showing total not caring.

[–]Rhalium 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

ironically thats what i plan on doing if i see her there again. just act indifferent, go about my shit and ignore her.

[–]menial_optimist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, not ignore, that shows butthurt. Talk with her sparringly and briefly just like anyone else who hasn't rejected you. Truly show you are unaffected. If you avoid her and make it obvious you will show hurtness. That is not the conduct of a man with options.



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