As a female, how can I advocate for the rights of men and boys?

Themightysavage · 2018-03-13T22:26:40+00:00

First of all, welcome. I feel like No one has said that yet. I understand you may be gung ho but the most important thing to do before charging forward is to educate yourself. Facts are our shields and swords here. Secondly always remember to remain calm and don't shout people down. The ideas we present here are "unpopular" truths. If you yell them at people, they'll label you a bully and you'll be ignored. Ease your way into it, arm yourself with facts, be kind, be polite. Foster conversation. Treat everyone well and set an example you'd be proud for others to follow.

DavidByron2 · 2018-03-13T20:14:19+00:00

We don't use the word "ally". It's insulting (to you). It suggests that some people in a movement are lesser simply by virtue of how they happen to have been born which is a feminist notion and foreign to a real civil rights movement IMO.

As a woman you'll be taken more seriously in some situations and you'll be called a gender traitor instead of a rapist or pedophile.

Do you know anything about the legal obligations (in theory) of the various advocacy groups that only currently advocate for women? For example you could be in a better situation to threaten local DV groups who only accept female clients (which is illegal but routinely happens anyway).

Stoicdadman · 2018-03-14T00:55:46+00:00

Thank you. Always take the high road, use WELL RESEARCHED facts, and focus on equality.

The idea is to put enough focus on the male scale to balance things to equal, NOT create a male-dominant culture.

You will not change an extreme feminist's mind, but you can raise awareness to the many fair, balanced, strong, and well-adjusted women out there before toxicity finds them.

Thank you again. It means a lot.

Plrizzi · 2018-03-14T11:39:26+00:00

I'm also a female, biggest thing I've been able to do is remind people Men deserve equality just as much as us. I am particularly vocal about rape and sexual assault against men in general and the false accusations/revenge accusations that have run rampant in our college systems.

The most important thing is to actually stand for equality, while also acknowledging the aspects which make the two genders different. I assume you will have a unique outlook from having a femenist background too which can be a great thing. As someone mentioned, facts are essential, but you can't bludgeon people with them. The same emotional appeals feminists use are powerful when advocating for men as a women. It also seems to help if, in some cases, examples are told in the reverse gender: "A man forces himself into a womens room, she says no, but is too drunk to fend him off. He has sex with her. Is that rape?" Everyone should agree it is. "Now if a women forces herself into a mans room, he says no, but is too drunk to fend her off. Is that rape?" You will either make someone think, or you will know they are full of shit.

Many times it will be frustrating how deep the bias against men goes. I can't even begin to count how often people will outright laugh in disbelief over a man being raped. These stereotypes are so harmful, but it honestly helps to be a women when debating the topic.

Lastly, never be afraid to stand up for the man in a situation. Women who attack men solely for their gender are no better than men who do the same to women. Being a woman gives us an edge when approaching the topic, because men often get shut down, ridiculed, or dismissed.

Good luck :)

stupidname91919 · 2018-03-14T04:40:41+00:00

When feminists lie, call them out. The strongest weapon in fighting them is the truth.

Meyright · 2018-03-13T19:59:27+00:00

Raise awareness!!

We are in the awareness phase of the movement. People are unaware of the issues men face. And many ignore them and don’t care.
Feminism is not doing enough for men’s rights. It focuses on women. If it were a gender equality movement, then it would support all genders equally and not focus on one over another.

mwobuddy · 2018-03-13T20:05:28+00:00

Demand men see reduced prison sentences to meet what women get. The prison gap is bigger between genders than the prison gap between races.

m1ssman1c · 2018-03-13T20:10:24+00:00

Watch the movie, the red pill. Share it with your friends.

SpeaksTruthToPower · 2018-03-14T02:56:06+00:00

Biggest issue? Support Legal Paternal Surrender. Women have the right to choose whether or not to be a parent or financially responsible after the sex act and after birth, therefore men should be able to do the same.

This one thing would bring men 90% of the way to equality.

boringcarpets · 2018-03-14T07:50:32+00:00

Misandry is pretty commonplace - speak up when you see and hear it, very simple.

A lot of feminists talk about how the radicals are only a vocal minority, but are very slow to actually call the radicals on their bullshit - of feminism is supposed to be about equality, then hold them to it.

fancy-free · 2018-03-15T14:41:00+00:00

You didn't have to stop being so feminist to become an MRA. You can correct injustices against men and against women at the same time, and there are endless examples of both. I think the only correct position is too belong to both groups.

YuenHsiaoTieng · 2018-03-13T23:42:25+00:00

Speak up everyday, because that's about how often you'll see evidence of the sentencing gap or misandry in general. You'll be a nuisance to everyone around you, but eventually they'll have to concede you've got a point.

MajorKrunchen · 2018-03-14T02:02:44+00:00

I've seen a lot of good ideas on here! Well done all! First: Welcome! Second: Just be kind and loving to everyone Third: Drop little facts and opinions that are not outlandish about rights and so on, but in a non-aggressive fashion. Good hearted people will hear and start to wonder. Cheers!

theothermod · 2018-03-14T08:11:56+00:00

I advise all activists to join MHRAconnect which is a site designed for organizing projects to promote men's rights. It's small right now, but active members will build it up.

When you sign up, please browse the other projects to see if you are interested.

iainmf · 2018-03-14T09:52:11+00:00

Do what you like.

By that I mean find something you enjoy and do that.

Here are some things to consider.

People tend to disregard making comments on the internet, but I have found it to be particularly useful. I've even had a stranger message me on facebook and thank me for calmly laying out my point of view and they said I had given them something to think about. I've also found it really useful for understanding other people and understanding myself better too. It's sharpened my arguments and my mind.

Also, consider writing to your representatives. You'll probably get a dismissive reply, but you are at least making them aware that people are concerned about the issues.

My current activism is focused on making a submission to the UN human rights committee for New Zealand's Universal Periodic review. My submission will be outlining the fact the NZ has not been reporting men's human rights issue to the committee and there has not been far too little effort to address the issues in NZ. Perhaps something like this would be your cup of tea as well.

erenthia · 2018-03-14T12:10:36+00:00

I have a background in advocacy work

To quote the Wizard of Oz, "Well that's a horse of a different color"

We get women in here fairly regularly asking your question, but not with your background. I actually recommend you try to contact Alison Tieman (paging /u/typhonblue) and maybe see what she says. But it will really depend on the level of investment you're looking for.

Alison runs Honey Badger Radio if you want to get an example of her work.

JestyerAverageJoe · 2018-03-14T16:05:34+00:00

May I ask you a question?

I used to be a feminist, but after thinking logically about issues and doing some research and reading, I realized females have many privileges that aren't given to men.

How were you able to realize this, when so many feminists seem unable to?

In other words, how or why does feminism seem to engender such blindness and lack of empathy towards men?

Moreover, why are so many feminists convinced that MRAs want to infringe upon women's rights? We merely want equality and for our issues to be acknowledged too.

shit-zen-giggles · 2018-03-14T22:12:21+00:00

Welcome.
Ally is a feminist term. We don't play that "second class citizen" game here, since we are not feminists. Women can be MRAs, if they choose to use the label (it comes with a cost, see point 6). You can also be concerned about the issues men and boys face without using any label, if you prefer.
Contact the honey badgers (honeybadgerradio, http://feedthebadger.com)
Inform yourself: http://realsexism.com, http://domesticviolenceresearch.org
join: http://www.mhraconnect.com/ to find projects that need help or help that needs projects
prepare yourself for the feminist backlash: Cassie Jaye about her experiences, Lacy Green might also have some useful experiences in this regard.

Thank you for your support!

Amiral7224 · 2018-03-14T18:01:05+00:00

Welcome! Glad to have you here!

cld8 · 2018-03-15T05:37:52+00:00

I feel like the best thing you can do is to talk to people. Talk to friends, family, and coworkers about these issues. As a woman, your opinions on gender-related matters will automatically carry more weight. For example, when a man complains about bias in the family court system, it's easy for people to say "you're just trying to avoid paying alimony", but when a woman says it, people tend to listen more.

The men's rights movement is in its infancy. The first step is to build awareness. Only then can we move on to advocacy.

2018-03-15T08:29:32+00:00

All men want is fairness - the right to be treated as benevolently and benignly as women are treated. We are sick of being shunted aside so that a women can get preferential treatment. What's so special about women? In short women are undeserving of special treatment. They are no different from men - selfish, greedy, unpleasant and yet society perpetuates this myth that women are sugar and spice!

ray_guy · 2018-03-15T21:43:33+00:00

Help people understand, especially younger people, that masculinity is not "toxic" or "evil" as many academic institutions teach. Men and women have differences but that doesn't make one toxic.

azazelcrowley · 2018-03-16T01:50:56+00:00

Even just being a woman who says they're in favor does more than you'd realize for morale. Thankyou.

jimmywiddle · 2018-03-13T22:10:09+00:00

Stand up against feminism whenever and however you can. You know how wrong they are and how they try and use group think to control the narrative.

Voicing your opinion when ever you can to push back on their narrative is an important part of pushing for true equality and help for everyone.

Aside from that, there are mens charities out there who would welcome help and support. It all depends on where you are in the world.

JestyerAverageJoe · 2018-03-14T15:21:59+00:00

Welcome!
Thank you for having an open mind.
Have you watched the film The Red Pill? This should be your introduction.

secondclassguy · 2018-03-16T00:24:43+00:00

Look at it this way, men and women have always been equal. Women had the sexual power and men (in the past) had more opportunity to gain economic power. Now women still have sexual power and have the same if not more economical power. The most simple way to look at this is start from the idea we are all human beings, and we all should be seen that way as far as rights

2018-03-16T05:08:31+00:00

At this point in my life I could care less of a women attempted to advocate for men's rights because it has become pretty clear to me that your average women thinks men are pets and only treat them like animals or worse.

backthefuckupbitch · 2018-03-16T16:49:20+00:00

Well done for leaving behind feminism. Leaving a hate group is hard.

Be careful what you say and to who. Arguing for mens rights in the current climate is dangerous.

Other than that I have no advice. If we knew how best to advocate for mens rights we wouldn't be here because equality would be achieved and we could all get on with our lives! If you find strategies that work let us know so that we can try them.

Lethn · 2018-03-13T20:02:24+00:00

Just not going along with the hate mobs that target men is an amazing start sadly. As long as you don't take part in that you're already doing a far better job than most women.

alclarkey · 2018-03-13T21:11:34+00:00

Get a law degree, work in the family court system advocating for the rights of fathers, or become a magistrate yourself and administer the family court system fairly and in the best interests of the children. (the TRUE best interests)

InBaggingArea · 2018-03-13T23:18:00+00:00

The same way you would as a male.

m1ssman1c · 2018-03-15T08:45:12+00:00

"education of my peers" (i.e. women). Yes but a lot of the problem in the downgrading of the male in society is ... other men. Their paternalistic and sexist attitudes whereby men are seen as beasts of burden and women as genteel little creatures who shouldn't be made to work too hard etc. I think Government needs to address the issue via a public education campaign - men matter!

M_Justice · 2018-03-17T04:03:39+00:00

Join NCFM. National Coalition For Men. We are looking for volunteers to help with advocacy work across a range of interesting issues. Many of our members are women.

Random_throwaway_000 · 2018-03-17T05:27:53+00:00

Changing your vote against people that openly are feminist and are hurting men.

itsallsympolic · 2018-03-14T17:05:50+00:00

You can still be a feminist and a MRA at the same time: in order to make the world safer for women, we must help boys. If we extend more compassion and understanding to men and boys it will make it less likely for them to grow up angry and resentful, less likely to act on the anger in violent ways and more capable of being good citizens.

MaybeNotMaybeYes · 2018-03-13T21:23:40+00:00

Label yourself whatever you want, but more often than not people who are merely 'allies' are treated rather poorly by the people who they're trying to advocate for.

In fact as I see it play out it more like 'servant' mixed in with 'perpetual punching bag' for the group they're supposedly championing.

So don't be an 'ally' in that sense, if you feel wronged by men's right activists don't just remain silent, or if you think they're wrong don't keep silent because it is expected of you. State your opinion and argue the points.

That would be a fine starting point, I think.

m1ssman1c · 2018-03-13T20:49:14+00:00

I used to be a feminist, but after thinking logically issues and doing some research and reading, I realized females have many privileges that aren't given to men. For a group (feminists) who claims to care about human rights, it is sad how there are few dialogues open about effecting positive change for men.

This poster has returned.

Title	As a female, how can I advocate for the rights of men and boys?
Author	m1ssman1c
Upvotes	214
Comments	85
Date	March 13, 2018 7:56 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/8476kt/as_a_female_how_can_i_advocate_for_the_rights_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/as-a-female-how-can-i-advocate-for-the-rights-of.904432 https://theredarchive.com/post/904432

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