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"No means no *when I say it* but I said yes"

J_Andrew89

April 19, 2016
123 upvotes
/r/MensRights
http://distractify.com/sex-relationships/2016/04/18/angry-shaved-legs-girl?utm_content=inf_4_53_2&tse_id=INF_8d3dbca3290a4b889a28a15e7273d2a8
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Post Information
Title "No means no *when I say it* but I said yes"
Author

J_Andrew89

Upvotes 123
Comments 70
Date April 19, 2016 4:13 PM UTC
(10 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/4fic8k/no_means_no_when_i_say_it_but_i_said_yes/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/no-means-no-when-i-say-it-but-i-said-yes.951405
https://theredarchive.com/post/951405
Top posts by J_Andrew89

Female teacher receives only 4 years in prison for sleeping with two underage students and molesting two others.

66 upvotes
February 22, 2016
/r/MensRights

Just got this email from JET--guess I won't be using them anymore since propagating a lie is more important to them than reason.

64 upvotes
April 4, 2017
/r/MensRights

GA Mom gets 12 months probation for hosting naked twister party with drugs and alcohol, participating (on all counts) as well as playing with herself in front of them at one point. Could you imagine if it was a dad that did any of this?

34 upvotes
July 29, 2016
/r/MensRights

I don't understand why we can never be the victim, but are always to blame.

10 upvotes
March 25, 2015
/r/MensRights

Comments

[–]bougabouga 33 points34 points35 points 10 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

I've been in a similar situation, but she didn't get angry, she started crying and asking me if I still found her attractive.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

See, I can completely understand that.

[–]bufedad 15 points16 points17 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I can understand that because I feel unattractive when I'm turned down. It's a crushing thing, especially now that I'm married.

[–]djc_tech 17 points18 points19 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

But as a guy you deal with it and move on - or you get have to take a cold shower because when she says no, it's no.

Thing is, I find it actually entertaining when you turn down a woman for sex - for whatever reason - they seem to get real annoyed. There's been days I'm just so tired. I just want to sleep so I say no. I deal with an angry woman the next day. Don't get me wrong, I have a high libido, but multiple days with lack of sleep and job stress add up. Some days I just need to sleep for eight hours for once.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Thing is, I find it actually entertaining when you turn down a woman for sex - for whatever reason - they seem to get real annoyed.

Don't you know...we men are just brute animals that are out looking to fuck 24/7. If some woman decides to do us the favor of letting us fuck her, we are supposed to fall all over ourselves running for the bedroom door....you know, toxic masculinity, rape culture and all.

[–]MRA-automatron-2kb 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

and that's what they keep showing men as on TV... cringe.

[–]Mythandros 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You are exactly right. Someone could be feeling a bit off, or perhaps just not be in the mood. It isn't always about you (the general "you"). Best thing to do is just say "Okay." and not be a child about it.

[–]furyoffive 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I once told a girl I had been seeing that after a few times we had sex that i wasnt feeling it and wanted to wait alittle bit before doing it again...she didnt like that very much and spent hours and many days trying to understand. Was quite annoying if you ask me.

[–]tallwheel 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Then you can understand what men deal with all the time. Seriously, this happens a lot more often to guys, and when it does we're supposed to just deal with it. Men are made to feel unattractive and undesirable all the time. In fact, since men are usually the ones expected to initiate and escalate, you could even say that men's default state is unattractive... unless he is one of the few lucky ones who are naturally extremely attractive.

[–]bufedad 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

As a guy, I'd say that's exactly what I was saying

[–]ExpendableOne 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

But, it's pretty much the same thing. It's someone getting hurt and then asking why either way. A guy who's is just genuinely hurt by a girl not sleeping with him and him not really knowing why, and crying about it, would be labelled as entitled and a manbaby.

[–]Xemnas81 -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah it'd be mean to laugh at that.

[–]Nulono 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

*;

[–]casemodsalt 33 points34 points35 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I literally kept giving you hints

Maybe some day she will be a big girl and do more than that and not get so frustrated over lack of mind reading ability.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Maybe some day she will be a big girl and do more than that

Doing more than giving hints, to this girl, would be rape. This much is clear.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Another example of infantile girls refusing to take responsibility for their own sexual desires. No different than the girls who are "so overwhelmed they cannot say no."

[–]Blutarg 8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, totally! Grow the hell up.

[–]CapnHatchmo 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

One of my partners has no filter, and I absolutely love that about her. It's not uncommon for her to ask during a date "do you still have time to come back to my place so we can fool around? That'd be great. You're hot." She's done wonders for my confidence. :)

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Dont give her any ideas, with her attitude if she decided to be more forward she will probably end up raping someone.

[–]Isair81 15 points16 points17 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Wow, that guy dodged a bullet passing over sex that night!

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Imagine if she got pregnant.

[–]CatManDontDo 12 points13 points14 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Or regretted it the next day

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Note her flat out agreeing that only men can rape.

She is essentially saying that "As a woman, I am entitled to sex whenever I want it from whomever I chose to grace with my vajayjay."

God thing they were not students, otherwise his "withholding sex" would be considered sexual abuse

[–]Xemnas81 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's what got me.

[–]KamiNekoSama 11 points12 points13 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

LoL i know there are websites that post this kind of shit when the genders are reverse but there really should be one that collects women acting poorly when being turned down for sex.

[–]Xemnas81 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Believe it or not r/niceguys does from time to time.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 10 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

I was at a bar in a new town when traveling for business. Decent, but used up, post-wall, soon-to-be divorcee was chatting me up with her slutty friend. Slutty friend was clearly trying to get her friend laid and it was friend's first night out since her and hubby split. I was engaged, so not interested, but I was amused and had nothing else to do, so I shot the shit with them. Towards the end of the night, they want to go back to my place. I decline, as I was engaged and, quite frankly, not interested in the goods. After declining again when it was made clear that BOTH would go back, slutty friend flipped out and started screaming at me in front of the whole bar, saying I was gay, must have a small penis, couldn't handle 2 girls. After I told them I was engaged, I was told: "Fuck off you homo loser."

[+]chavelah -35 points-34 points-33 points 10 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

This is not TRP. If you meet somebody who treats you decently, "post wall" and "used up" are not appropriate terms to describe them outside the misogynist TRP bubble. That woman was a human being, just like you. She doesn't deserve such extreme contempt for offering you sex and then taking no for an answer. She also didn't deserve to have her time wasted, incidentally, if you were not interested.

[–]PotatoDonki 10 points11 points12 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She's a human being who treated him like shit, so I'm not sure what respect exactly she's earned here.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

  1. I am not a member of TRP. "Used up" because she was post-kids and getting divorced. "post-wall" = past her prime and trying way too hard to be attractive.
  2. I never indicated that I was interested or flirted. I was aloof and disinterested. Her choice to keep chatting me up. I just sat at my bar stool.
  3. I am allowed to make value judgments as to whom I find sexually attractive.
  4. My contempt is not based on her offer of sex, but on her reaction when I refused.

[–]EgoandDesire 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I am allowed to make value judgments as to whom I find sexually attractive.

No you're not. Having preferences is misogynist!

[–]chavelah -2 points-1 points0 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think I misunderstood your anecdote. I thought you had been approached by two women, one who accepted "no" and one who pitched a fit when you said "no." Contempt is a completely appropriate reaction when somebody doesn't gracefully take no for an answer.

Having kids doesn't "use up" a person sexually. Far from it. And the whole concept of "hit the wall" as a way to describe aging in people of either sex is outright hateful. If you don't want to be mistaken for a terper, don't use their misogynistic language.

[–]marauderp 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Having kids doesn't "use up" a person sexually. Far from it. And the whole concept of "hit the wall" as a way to describe aging in people of either sex is outright hateful. If you don't want to be mistaken for a terper, don't use their misogynistic language.

And this was your only contribution to the discussion. Tone policing people over words you don't like.

I'm not going to stalk your profile but I'll bet you're not the type that jumps on feminists for deriding neckbeards or "nice guys" or "dudebros" or any number of other derisive terms that they use. Of course, if you did, they'd just ban you from their discussions outright, so I suppose you have an excuse.

[–]chavelah 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not just a matter of "tone." Words like "bitch" and "asshole" are matters of tone, and I don't object to those. "Slut" - that's a behavioral descriptor. But thinking of another human being as being "used up" sexually requires a level of dehumanization normally associated with TRP - when it's directed at females.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Til "extreme contempt" == "she was older and less attractive than my standards and I didn't want her"

[–]Xemnas81 5 points6 points7 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

K, how about you call out the girl in the linked article before jumping on the first 'redpiller' you see?

[–]tallwheel 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Heh. Is this serious? His talking to them for any amount of time in no way entitles those women to sex with him. All he did is say no, which he has a right to do, and it sounds like the women flipped out. They are plenty deserving of ridicule given how they acted. I'd like to see anyone even try to respond this way with the genders reversed.

[–]Demonspawn 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It is. You have to remember that chavelah is a female who believes that if a man doesn't pay for the date he isn't serious.

Her sense of entitlement is strong.

[–]Maschalismos -2 points-1 points0 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with you on this. We need our female members. Driving them away does nothing.

[–]Archibald_Andino 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I love the part where he says "no means no" and she answers, "no means no when I say it, but I said yes".

Completely oblivious to the point he was making that he was saying no to her.

[–]rottingchrist 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They have a hard time thinking of males as human.

[–]Demonhunter115 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, it's only a small amount of women who do this, so it doesn't count as proof for anything! /s

[–]FalconTrash 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Does anyone know how big the percentage of women is that would act in such a manner?

Because I really don't feel like making sweeping statements based on anecdotal evidence.

[–]civilsaint 15 points16 points17 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Did someone really message this? It doesn't seem real.

But then again, people is weird.

[–]Demonspawn 20 points21 points22 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

No, it's very very real. Try turning down a girl sometime... I dare say this reaction is common.

The thing is, women are rarely turned down so rejection hits them that much harder.

[–]civilsaint 12 points13 points14 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I've seen a girl get angry for getting turned down, but this is psycho level.

[–]Demonspawn 11 points12 points13 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Well, when the unspoken reason you don't want to have sex is because you are avoiding putting our dick into crazy...

From my own experiences, what he got was mild. YMMV.

[–]civilsaint 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Truth.

[–]theskepticalidealist 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Plenty of em around

[–]casemodsalt 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's why they just sit back and let guys do all the work. Cause they can.

[–]tallwheel 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Plus they haven't had it hammered into their heads that they're not supposed to push and feel entitled to sex the way that men have.

[–]hackableyou 6 points7 points8 points 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Mainstream society has led some women to think this way. I don't think most women think this way. I think most women think we'll I want sex to stop when I say no, therefore it should be that way for you. Of course if there is a need that only men have, women tend to have little sympathy, but since they have that need, I don't see most women thinking this way.

[–]dontpet 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

People are internally inconsistent especially with new situations. Hopefully she learned from it and tells her female friends.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

If you try pointing out the inconsistency you get what was posted in the text exchange....verbal equivalent of the fembots heads exploding.

[–]MRA-automatron-2kb 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I agree, and not just with sex, pointing out any inconsistency in what I woman says has always resulted in a bad reaction in my experience.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Watching my law school profs run the Socratic Method on some of the more "flighty" females in my law school class was quite interesting. Constant reversion to feelings over facts and inability to compartmentalize the critique of ideas from a critique of the person.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

When we covered rape law in my criminal law class, one girl loudly and angrily proclaimed implied consent was not a thing and went off about entitlement and men.

I raised my hand and said does your boyfriend ask permission before kissing you? Do you ask him? No? So you're sexually assaulting him?

silence

[–]MRA-automatron-2kb 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That's true, we get called names (like they did to you in the bar) if we disagree with women.

[–]Xemnas81 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Of course if there is a need that only men have, women tend to have little sympathy, but since they have that need, I don't see most women thinking this way.

Yes! I have said this many times; feminine-primary morality. It's the definition of gynocentric culture.

[–]hackableyou 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I grew up being fed the lie that women were morally superior to men and I even believed it and was made to feel guilty for my gender. As I have lived life, I realized this simply isn't the case and that society only values women's strengths more than men's. I think what I said before is one example of why women appear to be sympathetic but are not.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

First thought: Don't hint ask.

Second: Your shaving doesn't entitle you to my dick.

Third: I'd dump her rear.

[–]Vanriel 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think the guy had a lucky escape there.

[–]repete66219 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

When people (including women) say "bitches be crazy", this is what they mean.

[–]Clockw0rk 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Female entitlement, exhibit #... oh hell, do we have a database for all of this bullshit yet?

[–]mwobuddy 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Men have to deal with this rejection daily with a smile because anything less is considered entitlement.

[–]RobDog101 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not gay.

Oh you poor, tragic dear. There's your problem.

[–]halocuber117 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

https://www.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/6f099784-0a7b-4825-9d96-c29312bf3a3e

Reminded me of this. Best movie.

[–]cottonthread 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

TIL that shaving your legs is part of the human mating ritual

[–]TheDude41 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Gross.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This seems more like he's been texting himself. I need more proof. Plz.

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