I'm one of you and I feel like an outsider.

2015-12-10T04:29:02+00:00

Thank you very much.

Women's support is vital for the men's movement.

Claude-Lau · 2015-12-10T04:18:30+00:00

However, whenever I say something to defend it, I get shot down and I get disgusting looks from my coworkers.

I understand that this is hurtful. Now consider how difficult it is for a man to challenge these ideas. He will be called a loser, a woman-hater, that he has "mommy issues," that he can't get laid etc. etc. Calling a man a misogynist is basically like calling him a pedophile. That's how socially damaging it is. Yet feminists begin with the nuclear option in every "debate."

We absolutely need women like yourself to go through the discomfort of speaking up. You are doing the right thing and you are on the right side of history. Feminism is the easy route, but so was white supremacism once upon a time.

CMOS222 · 2015-12-10T05:29:31+00:00

frombolognaa,

When I first joined this forum about 3 years ago, membership was around the 9,000 mark. It's now up to 123,000 and rising. That level of membership can't all be men. There are a substantial number of women who feel the same way as you do, and their numbers are increasing every day.

You are not an outsider, and you never have been. You've just always been way ahead of the curve.

TacoNinjaSkills · 2015-12-10T06:58:28+00:00

To this day in my mid twenties, a hobby makes me attractive.

This is hilarious and very true. There are so many females out there who are speaking out against the bullshit and bringing the debate back to the center where it belongs. Check out Karen Straughan, the Factual Feminist, ShieldWife and the Fiamengo File.

TacoNinjaSkills · 2015-12-10T15:22:44+00:00

I find the best reaction to being called gay is to shrug my shoulders and say "And?"

VoiceofLuke · 2015-12-10T06:53:37+00:00

Glad to hear you're supportive of the cause! There is an over abundance of aggression and even hate towards it but don't let it get you down. Take pride in helping people, every bit counts.

Look how fast a go fund me can help even in small increments.

Eventually we'll get enough people pulling in the right direction, it's just cumulative. I'd never heard of any men's rights stuff before a few years ago and now I'm even seeing it on the news. I think the movement is gaining real momentum now.

cld8 · 2015-12-10T08:15:10+00:00

It's rather refreshing to read this, and I hope you will continue to speak up. The men's rights movement is about equality, which everyone should support. Just as men supported the feminist movement when they were fighting for equality, women should also support equality for men.

rg57 · 2015-12-10T08:31:49+00:00

My whole life (I'm 23

Yer just a young'un. Why, back in my day, we weren't even born until we were thirty-five!

Blutarg · 2015-12-10T07:09:48+00:00

Just keep believing. Stay strong!

sayshey · 2015-12-10T15:29:34+00:00

The feminists always say 'You don't get a cookie for being a decent human being.' They're fucking assholes. Please accept a virtual cookie and a hug for being a decent human being. Posts like yours mean a lot.

irrelevant_usernam3 · 2015-12-10T15:44:03+00:00

It's great to have you on our side! When I bring up men's rights to any of my feminist friends, I'm told that I'm a mysoginist, or they say to check my privilege. Basically any argument I make is invalid on the grounds that I'm a man. My hope is that if these people start hearing the same things from fellow women, they might take a step back and re-evaluate some of the crazy things they advocate. Because I think the world needs feminism too, just not in its current form. There are countries where the can't drive, forced marriages, etc. And I think that should change. However, I can't help but feel feminism in this country is concerned with getting preferential treatment and finding new ways to be offended. They want the power to ruin any man's life with a simple accusation and no due process. They want to believe men are all evil people who want to rape and oppress them. And they want to keep the privileges they have (which they don't recognize as such) like parental rights, alimony, and chivalry while also pushing for even more like preferential hiring into STEM fields and the ability to punish people for disagreeing with them. I support women's causes as well as men's. But right now, I can't help but feel like the balance has shifted in favor of women and that feminism has become an oppressive ideology designed to keep and even increase that favor; a lot like this invisible patriarchy that they're always talking about.

Sorry for the rant, just wanted to say thank you for supporting us.

pnw_diver · 2015-12-10T06:34:22+00:00

I read your venting with a lovely Italian accent in mind. Buona sera.

erenthia · 2015-12-10T22:10:14+00:00

You are on the right side of history and you WILL be vindicated.

TheyCalledMeMad · 2015-12-11T01:31:40+00:00

Being an outsider isn't so bad. If the system you live in is wildly fucked up, then get out, and feel good about escaping with your brain intact. It can be a lonely thing, but at least you have integrity.

MalibuStayZ · 2015-12-11T15:22:14+00:00

My friends always let me go first playing games, I was always praised for kicking ass in kickball.

I don't want to tell you how you have to feel, but in my opinion this is no big deal. I would assume that they give you compliments and such because they like you as a person, not because they feel obliged to because you are a woman. To me such compliments are a gift and no duty and so I have no problem with them.

I don't like politicizing every minor human interaction, that's what feminists do.

(Happy to have you here though.)

IoSonCalaf · 2015-12-10T13:55:48+00:00

Wow. Just wow. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can't speak for anyone else here, but I'm very touched by your support and extremely grateful to hear this from a woman. It somehow feels especially validating coming from your point of view. We should be so lucky to have a girl as cool and clever as you in our midst.

Upvote_To_The_Left · 2015-12-10T15:20:00+00:00

Sounds like you have an open mind and are not afraid to consider new ideas. This is a good trait to have and I hope you nurture it in yourself and your kids if you ever have any.

We need more people in this world who are willing to speak up against blatant unfairness towards men. Things like child custody is a massive issue for men that never seems to get touched by the mainstream media, yet we see protests for a girls to be able to join the boy scouts on the news instead. what the fuck?

And I agree with what you say about a hobby making a girl attractive. Mainstream reddit is massively guilty of this as can be seen by the huge attention showering users give girls on gonewild and similer subs that let girls post pics of themselves. If she is into video games it makes her exponentially more attractive. Seriously, video games make her special? How about traits like compassion, honesty, healthy lifestyle? "who cares she's into league of legends i love her!" In this regards men are to blame. We should make an effort to stop validating women for only being pretty and into dorky hobbies. We are encouraging the worst kind of women with this kind of attention.

ExpendableOne · 2015-12-10T14:30:16+00:00

A few years ago I relalized that I'm truly sexist, especially at work.

wait, what? How are you being sexist because you advocate for men too?

chavelah · 2015-12-10T16:52:11+00:00

I'm a generation older than you, and here's the thing - being distressed about your sex-based privilege is just as useless as being distressed about your race-based privilege. Work to help people who don't have your social clout, and don't screw people over just because society allows you to - but if your skydiving buddies think you're hot, don't assume they're delusional and you are basking in unearned attention. Attraction isn't just about looks, and women tend to evaluate their own looks way more harshly than their suitors do. Consider the possibility that you may, in fact, be extremely attractive to many people that you meet :-)

192873982 · 2015-12-10T13:38:45+00:00

You probably are an outsider, but is that a bad thing? Being an outsider is hard, but not always bad. Non-Nazis in Nazi Germany were outsiders too.

Also being popular based on your hobby is a good thing, that means people around you actually care about more than just looks. You are probably fun to be with for men and that is actually, in my opinion, a good reason to like someone.

Also you are not sexist, but I guess you know that.

I am really impressed by people who get out or withstand hard societal indoctrination, that's why I am impressed by people on /r/exmuslim, since they escaped an even more extreme indoctrination, and sometimes that is even dangerous for them, since they could be punished to death in some countries.

I am impressed by women that escape the feminist narrative and therefore I am impressed by you.

You are a good human.

rudelyinterrupts · 2015-12-10T16:47:32+00:00

There are a lot of women out there like you. I'm lucky enough to be friends with several of them. They ask for no special treatment, they work hard for what they want, they take the good with the bad, and they know they have physical limitations but aren't about to complain over it. Almost as if they were equal to men. Keep your chin up. Thank you for being a part of the group. Kick some ass.

Rockbottom503 · 2015-12-10T04:22:33+00:00

I love women. I will always put them first. Women are God's gift to men. BUT when women get mad at you , people automatically believe them. It's not fair but that's life. In the court system where things are supposed to be fair and men rely on them being fair they aren't. That discouraged me in the legal system. Life will never be fair when it comes to men and women.

bebo_126 · 2015-12-10T04:10:58+00:00

Apparently nobody gives a shit about men. You're fighting a losing battle. Are you sure you don't want to be on the side that's winning?

Title	I'm one of you and I feel like an outsider.
Author	frombolognaa
Upvotes	127
Comments	45
Date	December 10, 2015 3:43 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3w66ix/im_one_of_you_and_i_feel_like_an_outsider/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-one-of-you-and-i-feel-like-an-outsider.965461 https://theredarchive.com/post/965461

Comments