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How is your experience with lifting weights in the gym? Did it actually help with women?

August 18, 2022

You can't create a thread like this on purplepilldebate or other places on reddit without a number of people saying "hurrr durrr sounds like you don't want to put in the work, sounds like you're lazy, sounds like you're making excuses". Hopefully it will be different here.

For a bit of background - I have been in and out the gym over my life. I lifted solidly for 3 years, sticking to a good lifting routine, good diet, enough rest, barely missed a gym session, before real life got in the way. I then lifted again for 18 months straight. Strength and muscle comes back a lot faster, because of muscle memory. Right now I have been in the gym for 6 months and the gains have come very fast because of muscle memory.

Anyway, in all that time I lifted weights, I felt like it helped precisely zero with women. I did put on plenty of muscle and strength. I could see the changes in my body over time, the scales went up, I lifted way more than when I started. I was putting in the work. But when it came to women? Nothing. Women did not care.

I read on purplepilldebate, the red pill subreddit and other places, that some men lift for just 1-2 years and already they have women checking them out, women giggling over them, women touching them, women starting conversations with them. I don't know whether they're lying or not, but I got none of that. It was so disappointing.

Then when I do say my experience, I'm told I shouldn't lift for women. I should lift for "myself", I should lift because it brings "confidence" (confidence gains were minimal at best for me), I should lift for my health (doesn't feel healthy to push your body that hard to build extra muscle that your body doesn't even need).

So what are your experiences? Did lifting help with women and why/why not?

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Post Information
Title How is your experience with lifting weights in the gym? Did it actually help with women?
Author BumblingBeta
Upvotes 5
Comments 40
Date August 18, 2022 1:40 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit /r/AllPillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/AllPillDebate/how-is-your-experience-with-lifting-weights-in-the.1139665
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AllPillDebate/comments/wrjvii/how_is_your_experience_with_lifting_weights_in/
Red Pill terms in post

[–]h1shman 10 points11 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Lifting weights is like lingerie on a woman. If she has a good body it highlights what’s there’s significantly. If she’s built like the Michelin man no amount of lingerie will change anything.

If your face is absolutely fucked and your 5’5 it’s probably not going to do much.

If you’re average the dividends pay really well. Most guys get big confidence boosts. When you get to my size and leanness waking around shirtless will make girls flock over at raves/converts basically any social setting where it’s acceptable to be shirtless. The best is taking my shirt off after leaving the bars. Drunk girls are absolute degens.

Lastly even if you don’t really attract a bunch more women when you do find one you like, many times you’re the first shredded guy she’s ever been with and you can see the look on her face when you take your shirt off. Never gets old

[–]HodgekinWhitePill 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Also having the stamina and strength to fuck her brains out is really helpful.

[–]h1shman 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh yeah good point. You’ll occasionally get the “muscled out guy” fetish from a girl who wants to be absolutely taken by a gym bro too.

[–]Peacesquad 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Noice lmao

[–]lostwanderer28 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Motivational bro

[–]h1shman 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

We’re all gana make it brah

[–]PaliantBlackPill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Be a sikkunt not a sadkunt

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm not what you would call "shredded". I have some ab definition but it's more overall muscle bulk. I am 13-14% body fat according to a few online calculators. This matches roughly with body fat pics I see online comparing 5%, 10%, 12%, 15%, 20% body fat and so on.

Still, the muscle has never helped me with women. It's just extra muscle. I even prioritize the aesthetic muscles like side delts, lats, biceps, abs and still makes no difference.

Have you ever take steroids or other drugs or are you natural?

edit: just saw in your profile that you're on TRT. how did that happen? did you take steroids previously and your body shut down its natural testosterone production? I'm natural personally. Never taken any drugs.

[–]h1shman 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I used moderate PEDs about 7 years ago in my early 20s for a handful of years. I was 215 at my peak and I’m about 175 now so pretty big difference between enhanced and not haha. I chose to start doing TRT as a minor form of performance enhancement that was legal. I don’t actually medically need it

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough. I always discover that the guys with good bodies took drugs. :(

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Also mind if I ask what is your height, weight and body fat percentage currently?

[–]h1shman 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m 6’ 175 and probably 12% bf. I hood a lot of fat in my back fortunately so have decent abs even at like 15%

[–]Peacesquad 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice haha

[–]Fit-Faithlessness149 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, but I got guys 'miring my gains

[–]GalaxyBrainU 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm not sure what your approach with women is, but if you work out and have a good body, it's not going to be an automatic chick magnet like some men think. You can't just sit somewhere and expect women to come up to you because you have a nice body. It's also not a magical, sure-fire confidence booster if you have self-esteem or mental health issues that run deep and stem from other things.

There's also issues like the style of your physique. If you look like a strongman meathead, well that often turns girls off more than being skinny or having a dad bod. Girls who like the typical chads usually like a Calvin Klein style physique: well-defined but not too vainy, big, or ripped. Think Brad Pitt in Fight club rather than Hafthor Bjornsson. Some even say Chris Hemsworth as Thor is a bit too bulky.

Working out is definitely a step in the right direction, but you also have to do alot more work on yourself to be desirable to women. If working hard to make your body look good isn't giving you confidence, you probably need therapy to work out whats not allowing you to feel a sense of pride in accomplishing something thats not very easy.

Work on building confidence in yourself. Learn how to talk to women in a desirable way. Pair your new body with a sense of fashion or clear style. Learn an interesting skill, or travel and do interesting things. Having a nice body can only help when trying to attract women, but it can't be the only thing you have going, especially when women are not as visually stimulated as men.

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough. I'm stronger than most dudes I see in the gym but I look worse. I'm already 13-14% body fat according to several online calculators. This one puts me at 12%: https://www.bizcalcs.com/body-fat-navy/ I already train in appropriate hypertrophy ranges.

So not sure what I can do to change that. Can it be changed or do I just have shit genetics?

[–]Eyesofmalice 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

that's the black pill whispering in your ear.

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

What is it whispering?

[–]Eyesofmalice 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That lifting is only worth it if your genetics already made you hot from the beginning.

[–]BurnaAccount1227 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No. Not more confident, not more attention, nothing at all. Then again I'm not the stereotypical 6' plus massively muscular black man I'm expected to be to get any kind of attention, nor am I a "thug" or hood or anything like that.

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah nor am I. I also found it didn't help me.

[–]SaltyGeekyLifter 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good. And Yes.

The Good is because of what it did to my focus, concentration, self esteem etc.

But then, I’m a bit of an acolyte of the temple of Iron. I’m not shredded, I’m strong.

[–]alienamongnormiesBlackPill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm down to 14.7% body fat. 5'6" 139 lbs. I think my new physique helped me land a date (which went to second base) recently. But I find that overall my luck with dating is no different than when I was fat and 160+ lbs. And I wasn't muscular either when I was fat. I led a sedentary lifestyle. I wasn't lifting.

[–]Incellius_Maximus 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, but that's not why I do it.

[–]250umdfail 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Narcissus fell in love with his own reflection. People who say they lift for themselves probably jack off to themselves in the mirror.

Unlike money, lifting won't make up for your other shortcomings. If you were fat, or skinny fat, a lean muscular build will definitely improve your chances. But if you were ugly, bald, or short, it wouldn't do much.

Ironically lifting works the best for those petite frail chicks with pancake ass. They're the ones who get the most out of it and go on to date Chads. Next it works the best for men who were already dating 6-7s, lets them upgrade to 8 and 9s. If you were already below average as a man, lifting barely works.

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

People who say they lift for themselves probably jack off to themselves in the mirror.

I admit I kind of do this. Well not jack off specifically to myself, I have porn on as well lol. If women aren't going to appreciate my body, I'm the one who will have to appreciate it. I wouldn't have to do it if other people appreciated my body.

Aren't we always told that if you can't love yourself, no one else is going to love you? So that's what I have to do. It's the only way I can find the motivation to continue lifting in the gym.

[–]250umdfail 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Loving yourself is for chicks. Self acceptance works for them. For men, it's antithesis to self improvement.

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah but if you're improving and no one notices or cares even a little bit, it does make you lose motivation somewhat. There's only so much you can do "for yourself".

I don't need lots of external motivation. A little bit can go a long way. That's why sports teams do better when playing at home, because they have the home crowd as their external motivator.

[–]ManWazoA poly Chad 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I went from 1-2 sex per year to 2-3 per week and being fit is one of the multiple change I made in my life. But I didnt do it for women so I dont know if that counts.

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

2-3 per week, wow. I guess it worked if those are not prostitutes and you're not lying. That's a lot of sex with lots of women.

[–]ManWazoA poly Chad 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Its not 2-3 new per week, some are regulars

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I see. Well sounds good either way!

[–]RazhL 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Did a muscle gaining workout plan for 8 months. (In large part for health. I have a good build, but am skinny underweight).

It became very difficult to keep up once my gym buddy stopped going. Endured it solo for awhile but eventually i quit too.

I did see myself getting some much needed figure improvements and felt some more confident at the end. But other then that nothing changed. Didn’t lead to more social interaction. Didn’t help with woman.

Workout is overrated imho. If you like the activity go for it. But its not a magic fix and you shouldn’t force your way through if you hate doing it.

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for sharing your experience! I would love a workout buddy. I tried getting one once but I always felt like I had to alter my schedule just to suit him and like he didn't really want to work out with me. So I just do it on my own. I had a very similar experience to you with the rest of it. I am questioning myself why I'm going at the moment because it's not helping any other aspect of my life.

[–]kvakerokWhitePill 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Skinny tall here. 2 weeks in and I have women literally staring, ignoring their hubs/bf they're holding hands with. NGL is a pretty amazing motivation booster.

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

2 weeks into working out? hahaha you can barely build any muscle in 2 weeks. You're a very obvious troll. You didn't hide it very well.

[–]kvakerokWhitePill 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

at 195cm and 87kg I wasn't very fat to begin with, and it most likely has to do with the change in my demeanor, rather than actual fat loss.

[–]PaliantBlackPill 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Looking like a roid’ head or a power lifter (think Eddie Hall) probably won’t help you gain general appeal. Lean muscular with low bodyfat tends to do the best with women, especially younger women. (Think David Laid but maybe not as extreme as he is)

[–]BumblingBeta[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Fair enough. Although as I get older, I'll probably not be around young women so often and I'll want to appeal to older women. What do older women like? Mid 30's to mid 50's sort of age. Do they like bulkier physiques?

Yes red pillers love to say that women that age are past it and "why would you want to fuck old women?" But realistically when you're that age yourself, that will be the age of women you will attract.

[–]PaliantBlackPill 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My general advice is to try to look like a swimmer / personal trainer. You know decent muscularity at 10-15% bodyfat. (Preferably about ~12%)

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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