A new guy

Equal_Kale9492 · 2025-05-22T07:00:06+00:00

Her financial and emotional utility will soon be gone. She needs a new utility to do things for her/pay her bills. When that one is depleted, she’ll move on to another one.

MoxieRoxxie · 2025-05-21T05:55:46+00:00

DONT COME FOR ME! I swear to god im on your side when I say this. If I were going thru a divorce, feeling crummy and some dumb dumb id been allowing to talk to me the last 4 weeks on Hinge take me on vacation? Fuck yeah id say yes.

HOWEVER. Im curious of the context of her statement but ill guess. Maybe. she wanted to know what you would say or tried to use it as an opportunity to feel the temperature of you. Likely, she was feeling the pressure of her own guilt and just said it in case you might have a clue.

Either way- she lied. And if she's got time to go away on vacation, she got time to look for an apartment. Bc fuck a mortgage, pack ya shit and get a condo in the meantime. She probably wont budge until you make her. Shes obviously TOOOOO motherfucking comfortable if she's lying to your face.

All im saying is, Vacay Bro might just be for the vacation and to waste her time a little.

To be clear- she's definitely the asshole here

MasonBlake_ · 2025-05-15T20:29:41+00:00

You already know what it is…she soft-launched the “single + free” narrative while having the next option lined up. That’s how it works. You handled it right by staying calm and not confronting…you don’t win by playing detective. You win by focusing on your exit plan, your kid, and your paperwork. Stay focused. Don’t spiral. You’re on the clock now…just work the plan + get free.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-05-15T20:29:21+00:00

we both still know each other pincodes, unless she changed hers)

100% she changed it.

divorce is finalized but we still live together - she needs to take a mortgage and buy me out, I need to take a mortgage, buy a place and move out, it all takes time.

Fast track YOUR parts as much as you can. Don't do her any favors, you're not a husband anymore.

ABSOLULTY get your own appraiser. You need a value on the home and you WILL get low balled on the equity.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2025-05-15T19:26:23+00:00

My advice get out of the house, but you do you. Living in a car and showering at your gym is preferable to residing in that toxic environment.

krazykanuck · 2025-05-15T15:06:37+00:00

not for nothing, but you don't plan vacations with people you just met.

rodchan82 · 2025-05-15T14:22:15+00:00

It must be nice. My STBX is jobless and still thinks that everything in the house is free when I pay for everything. Still waiting for the first initial court date to go through. and we still live together because she has no where else to go.

BakedCheddar88 · 2025-05-15T12:16:07+00:00

Yeah my ex and still live together and she just went on a three week trip to Portugal to see the new guy she’s dating. It didn’t bother me because she paid her half of the rent beforehand and we’ve already moved on from each other so good for her.

Affectionate_Tax6427 · 2025-05-15T11:27:14+00:00

Can I ask how long you both are seperate? She said she was tried of relationship and probably divorced you right?

Just saying but another men asking her to go together in the middle of divorce is a sign that she probably asked for a divorce because of that said men. Both planing vacation already means they know each other long enough.

And this would change a lot for you and her. If she cheated on you and left you for that reason, you should cut this person completely of your life except when it come to your child. No more friendly talk, no more "nice guy" thing. I mean you could close for all the door if she try to comeback later knowing she cheated and left you for another men. Would also change the view of friends and family about her.

Legitimate-Corgi · 2025-05-15T11:18:21+00:00

She’s gonna have even harder time buying you out if she gets knocked up in the meantime. You need to get house settled and stop cohabitating before you end up still supporting her while she has her cake and eats it too

FallenOneSavage · 2025-05-15T11:10:28+00:00

If she's moved on then she's moved on - not your business anymore regardless if you're living together.

She may be open and honest about seeing someone else or even this trip - she may not. Still her business

I don't get why it bothers you if you're divorced if I'm honest

Sounds like you've still feelings for her and living together isn't giving you the closure you need.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2025-05-15T11:09:38+00:00

I’d just hold on to that information and use it as motivation to handle all of your business. Mine stopped coming home some nights while cohabitating and I just used the anger in a positive way. Negotiate the best deal possible, take care of yourself and get out of that situation

warwww · 2025-05-15T10:41:29+00:00

All the more impetus to get the process over with to save yourself from these sort of situations.

Something like this would kick me into warp speed in terms of getting things done. I.e. finalizing custody, moving out etc.

Out of sight, out of mind will work wonders for your mental health.

Gen_X_Xoomer · 2025-05-15T10:34:42+00:00

Was the sale of the house part of the divorce settlement? If so get her moving. You’re only harming yourself living like this.

NanuNanuShuzButt · 2025-05-15T10:34:34+00:00

I would get all the information on that trip. Then when she is about to leave have your stuff packed and make like you are going with her with your luggage all ready. Would love to see the look on her face! Or actually go where they are going and just coincidentally show up all the time. Ohhh hey you came here too???!!! What a crazy coincidence! Oh who is this guy with you?

Gattsama · 2025-05-15T09:45:11+00:00

I'm glad you two are handling things, and it sounds like you are emotionally secure, mature, and already moving on. Women ne er jump ship without at least a plan B in mind already started...

Title	A new guy
Author	Exactly65536
Upvotes	52
Comments	57
Date	May 15, 2025 9:07 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1kn3noh/a_new_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/a-new-guy.1552183 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552183

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