Am I overreacting?

47omek · 2021-10-12T19:18:31+00:00

No response is the right response. My ex is always yapping about how I need to "step up" whenever there's some difficulty with one of the children as if she's the only one who does anything. Meanwhile I take the kids to most doc/dentist appointments, sign them up for and coach both of their sports, and end up doing most of their school projects at my home instead of hers. So many of them have this victim single mother narrative in their heads that no amount of evidence to the contrary can overcome.

derelictherds · 2021-10-12T18:45:20+00:00

She is. Just ignore her.

Jonger1150 · 2021-10-12T18:59:03+00:00

Sounds like the typical reaction women emit when minor irrelevant problems arise.

cschoonmaker · 2021-10-12T18:59:33+00:00

Hearing tests at school aren't the end all be all. If you want a hearing test done, take the kids to an audiologist and they can perform a hearing test. This is just all drama filled BS. Something she thinks she can use against you.

crypto_keeper88 · 2021-10-12T18:46:41+00:00

The kids were sick, nothing you could do about that. Tell her to schedule a separate appointment or just wait until next year. Do any of your kids have any noticeable hearing issues? She is just being spiteful on purpose, that's really obvious.

Anonymous_By_Choice_ · 2021-10-12T23:52:02+00:00

OP, it’s not an overreaction on your part. I experience the same thing you described in your post. It’s incredibly frustrating and is meant to evoke a reaction from us. Remember, you are allowed to feel whatever comes to you, but your actions can either be helpful or unhelpful. Keep your cool and keep taking good care of your kids.

pegleg_legal · 2021-10-14T02:03:19+00:00

She's just being her. Don't be mad, be happy you don't have to listen to her yapping in person.

Adiesel25 · 2021-10-12T18:50:49+00:00

Yup, she’s definitely blaming you. I bet she couldn’t get an answer from the school either and probably asked another mother/friend. Your kids were sick and missed the hearing test, not the end of the world. Could probably get that done privately if you think it’s an issue. Tell her to calm the f down.

cdjohnny · 2021-10-12T21:29:39+00:00

Learn to ignore it now as it will continue for many years. Like water off a duck man, give her no reaction.

slice73 · 2021-10-12T22:35:37+00:00

Grey rock, my man

dadmacintosh · 2021-10-13T01:00:22+00:00

Typical woman. Learn to ignore this. It will get you crazy. Focus on the kids. Establish good relationships with the school staff and teachers. Get information directly from them.

sexytimeinseattle · 2021-10-13T02:37:27+00:00

That's not the issue with her response, it's this:

"Since you aren’t asking as u aren’t interested"

She's inventing a fiction about you so she can cast you as the villain. She ignored what you did, cast you as the villain, and then made sure to know that there was an issue.

If they were off school due to illness, it's the school's fault that they don't offer a makeup. So what, they'll get their hearing tested next year.

If you want to respond at all you could say "I made the best decision given the circumstances for the children."

Moms often don't trust the decision of the fathers of their children to raise their children, like they have a monopoly on parenting skills. They don't, and the courts don't agree with them, which is why parents often share split custody time. Dads get to make 50% of the decisions according to their own prerogative, which is just as valid as the mother's prerogative.

henrysmyagent · 2021-10-13T05:16:14+00:00

It is transference. She is transferring her failure to you, and is trying to transfer her responsibility to correct her mistake onto you.

Throw it right back at her.

ProchinaMarxist · 2021-10-13T13:36:34+00:00

She is your enemy not your friend. She doesn't have your best interest in mind. Keep it business do not contact her or talk to her if not absolutely necessary.

If things have been settle dlegally then good of not lawyer up.

Whenever you don't have an answer right away just say "school said they are elooking into it and will let me know".

Or just don't bother rtakking to her if it's settled legally I would be lmao cuz she can't do shit. And treat her like she deserves.

Women want drama, cut it from the root be straight and direct and just don't contact her.

Its_a_stateofmind · 2021-10-13T17:00:54+00:00

Nope - not overreacting at all / she is though.

I get the same. A form came home from school when I had the kids to verify addresses, etc. The only part that was wrong was my address - so I filled it in, and sent it back. She then complains that she didn’t get a chance to view it. I told her the only information that needed update it was mine, so I didn’t bother to bother her. She then asks me how she can verify that the information is correct - I told her I did (unless she has moved without telling me), but if she really wants - she can contact the school herself and have them verify for her.

Always drama. Always victim playing.

Brit_100 · 2021-10-12T20:56:05+00:00

Man, I could relate a couple of stories every week just like this with my ex.

The short version is: forget it. Don’t let her get to you. You keep doing your best, and let her go to pieces about it.

akihonj · 2021-10-13T09:17:59+00:00

Don't play the game when the rules are not clear, best advice I had and best advice I can give.

Keep to discussing about the children, go and book a hearing test for them yourself. Don't get into the drama that your ex-wife is trying to bring into your life.

Title	Am I overreacting?
Author	emberlands
Upvotes	10
Comments	20
Date	October 12, 2021 6:19 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/q6sakl/am_i_overreacting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/am-i-overreacting.1079895 https://theredarchive.com/post/1079895

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