Dating dry spell

EstablishmentHot4889 · 2024-10-06T10:53:12+00:00

Invest in a great wardrobe and hairstyle. Smell good Cultivate the skill of coming across as confident, which is a lot to do with being happy with yourself and valuing yourself and having a consistently positive outlook

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2024-10-05T13:15:34+00:00

"I’m 38, I’m just looking for a woman to be happy with and that will support and be nice to me. It’s seems like so Insanely hard"

This is the problem. I can tell by this statement alone you come across as needy as you're looking for someone to make you happy.

This tells me you're not happy internally and hence you're not ready to date. You need to do a lot of work on yourself first before you're ready. How to get ready?Find a hobby.

Focus on your career/start a side hustle/Make more money.
Hit the gym daily.
MGTOW
Stay away from SINGLE moms at ALL costs and any one who claims their ex was abusive. Do NOT raise another man’s child. You may end up being on the hook financially (Child support) for the kid if you leave.
Travel once a year.
RedPill knowlege (Read books like No more mr. nice guy). Visit the subreddit theredpill and read the sidebar articles as well.
Open up the New Testament and start reading daily + listen to Charles Stanely on YouTube.
- Learn to forgive your ex. This will set you emotionally and mentally free so you can begin enjoying life once again.

OrcasareDolphins · 2024-10-05T12:38:37+00:00

I’m only 5’7”, but there are so many things you can do to measure up better. Gym, gym, gym, and then dress well and even consider a stylist for your hair, beard, etc.

I’m definitely “damaged goods” by any metric. I’m almost fully divorced, but still separated, in forced retirement, and live in a small 900 sq ft apartment. Still managed to have success on the apps.

I’m happy to offer free gym advice.

Dramatic-Ad7192 · 2024-10-05T07:46:50+00:00

Same bro. It’s ruthless out there

RonJ103 · 2024-10-04T19:36:56+00:00

Someone once told me not to look for a relationship from a place of "lacking". Complete yourself, stop "trying" to find a relationship, be social and it will happen all by itself with much better results.

I know, easier said than done. Hang in there. Give it time.

This_Train340i · 2024-10-04T13:20:06+00:00

Sounds like you are seeking a woman to make you happy or to "complete you." Women can smell a simp co-dependent a mile away even if you try to conceal it. It's a bad idea to invest your happiness into another person, brother. Get to the point where you don't need female validation to feel happy. It's a much better way, you'll see.

regertsrus · 2024-10-04T01:31:32+00:00

Keep trying. It's not about you. Look beyond yourself and your needs/wants. There are women out there that want a very simple magic sauce;
1. Someone to trust 2. Someone who is selfless kind and often hopeful 3. Someone confident and not vein

That's it! There is no other magic formula. Find a woman who wants those simple things and nothing else. It's often a single mom without any support, busting her ass for her kids and just wants someone to value her

ArizonaSpartan · 2024-10-04T01:21:04+00:00

Dating apps are hell and slanted in women’s favor heavily. Avoid.

I recommend church if you are religious, especially bigger non-denominational ones. I had single women greeting me often, this past weekend it was like 4 times.

techrmd3 · 2024-10-04T00:43:21+00:00

yes it is rough out there and many men have commented (all age groups) how online dating seems to be dying

I think it's a function of the other side of the dating dynamic. I have had the other side players say and I quote "I am only going out with men who are perfect and have a potential for long term relationship"

Which means that while they may have dated 4-5 in a row... now they are dating 1-2

And they get frustrated about it and wonder where have all the good matches gone? I just laugh, I feel their pain but frankly the velocity of dating has gone way down across the board.

most don't even want to try anymore

CRobinsFly · 2024-10-04T00:34:29+00:00

Not too much different from you - 36, 510, quarter mil income, one 4yo daugther I am currently litigating my custody of. It sounds like you're doing the right things to me.

Earlier this year I had a string of first dates and zero second dates. The women wouldn't just abruptly stop talking to me but they would slowly ghost over a day or two or penpal me for weeks. I was legitimately annoyed and hopped on and off the apps repeatedly.

Now, I have taken the approach that women who ghost and bounce before a first date as having blessed me. I literally tell them my intent is to polarize before even meeting. Stating I believe if you don't like me this way, you don't like me I am clearly not for you and that's okay with me. I also require them basically to come to me/my part of town for an initial meet. I lose a bunch of "matches" just from that alone. I expressly say I don't do 5050 so don't worry about it, "I want to invest in you/us". I'm pretty aggressive, I tease them a little, maybe try to get them to exchange a sexy photo or two, etc. Just the right amount of cocky and arrogant.

This strategy sure does work and I will say I have had several women block me which I find amusing. "Whatever". "I was the prize anyway". On the flip side though, I have never had more success. In September I went from banging one chick who I had been seeing for several weeks, who swiped on me first, to banging another just a week later who also swiped on me first. For the first time in my life I was actually banging multiple women at once. In my past losing one cat usually meant a quarter year before I would get another. Meanwhile here I am and the snail trail isn't even dry yet before I am getting another.

That said, I'm not on the apps at the moment and neither of those two women can be expected to give me another go (had to cut one and the other said she wanted to continue dating to find her 'final man'... she was an egg freezer, lol). I'm pretty content though.

Maybe just continue to focus on you and your kids? Take a break? As much as I don't like the cliché of it, don't let a woman define your life, they're not that great and come with tons of headaches.

azwildcat74 · 2024-10-04T00:20:21+00:00

Im 6’5” so I can’t personally identify with the struggles but I see more posts on dating subs about shorter dudes self-sabotaging with women they match with by showing a ton of self-loathing. If you’re being totally honest - is that you? Find a way to love yourself my dude, it’s a prerequisite for someone else to love you the way you want to be loved.

DisgruntledSalt · 2024-10-04T00:06:54+00:00

Completely different mind set these days not like they were before unfortunately

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2024-10-03T23:42:55+00:00

You have young kids. How young? Is your divorce final (if you were married)?

Last year you “saw quite a few women, and it went well” which is very good result, probably above average. What changed? Overall situation doesn’t become easier as we age. How long since you were on a date?

Xan-Diesel · 2024-10-03T23:34:58+00:00

They’re likely picking up on your own reported self consciousness. I’ve noticed many, many women are attracted to masculinity and confidence, whether they admit it or not. People (including other men) can often figure out when you’re just pretending to be confident, as well.

That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong but it might be better to spend this time crafting yourself into the best version of yourself possible. Along the way you’ll become more confident in yourself and that’ll radiate outwardly. Women will notice subconsciously and as you feel better about yourself you can decide whether you’d like to ask women out.

Try not to make that the goal and things will likely work themselves out if your ultimate goal is becoming the man you want to be.

Wacodunk · 2024-10-03T23:32:48+00:00

Dude you've had a date post divorce what's that like? It'll be three years in January since I've been divorced and I've gotten no matches or romantic interactions from anyone. Been on zero dates. And I've used all the apps and tips about talking to people. Nothing has worked.

Title	Dating dry spell
Author	LuvDonkeeButts
Upvotes	19
Comments	44
Date	October 3, 2024 11:11 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fvl1as/dating_dry_spell/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dating-dry-spell.1532003 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532003

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