Does this happen to anyone else? Marriage counseling.

playerknowmore · 2022-05-01T16:43:38+00:00

We hit the sixteen year mark and she went into full nagging mode. Her voice seemed to affect my blood pressure. She always wanted what she wants, and I'm not a flexible man. She would try to guilt me into shit; I came from nothing and we have a lot. So that type of manipulation doesn't work on me. I had the papers drawn up.

My wife like yours was against divorce. Jamaica was her last ditch effort. The first few days was sex, food, drinks, and the beach. Eventually we talked about the hard stuff. We learned it wasn't so much what she was asking for, but more how she asked me. We found that she grew up with her mother in charge; her father just got along. My house was the complete opposite. My mom was a housewife, she did her best to please my dad.

I didn't expect my wife to be like my mom, but I damn sure wasn't going to be anything like her dad. We found compromises that got us to twenty years. Our children has benefited from us staying together. I don't think I ever got where you are, but I looked into the brink. I personally think if infidelity is not involved there's a possibility to fix what is broken.

warrior_up · 2022-05-01T14:29:51+00:00

Never seen nor heard of counseling saving a marriage, prolong the inevitable yes, put lipstick on a pig yes - ultimately she lost desire, and not longer sees you as her best option. Women love opportunistically and the time That largely depends on your available resources and resourcefulness, and attraction. Honestly the best thing you can do right now Is let her go soil her wild oats and you get some Needed time to finally relax without all this relationship drama and Bs stress in your life. Remember who you were when you first got Together and she was blowing you 16 times a weekend. That’s how far gone things are

Get out while you still have something left, in fact the best thing you could right now and get your balls and frame back is “hey we tried, I’m done - lets terminate this relationship for the time being. Maybe when you realize what you had we can look at getting back together.

And do it. Life is too short to be pining for a women that’s already checked out man. Everything turns out fine and you’ll be spending your time on yourself or with a women that has genuine burning desire for you

Crushed_95 · 2022-05-01T14:09:48+00:00

I remember a wise man told "If you ever go to marriage counseling, your marriage is over!" He told me that back in the 90s before I ever thought about getting married and per my experience, he was exactly head on!

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2022-05-01T15:55:38+00:00

There is a (very) high correlation between couples going to couple's counselling and divorce. I, as well as other men, have been one of them. You've been warned. It sounds like you're on the path to getting divorced.

SudetenNachkomme · 2022-05-01T11:59:49+00:00

How long have you and your spouse been in marriage counseling? Have you only just started, or …?

ZookeepergameLow2760 · 2022-05-02T00:52:40+00:00

Marriage couseling is just a theorical mind frame to help you compromise. It doesn't save your marriage, it just put some lipstick on it so you feel compelled to compromise. It was designed to confuse us until we doubt ourselves and are forced to reeducation and function within a theorical mind frame that is supposed to make our wives satisfied. Call it plastic love if you like but in the end love becomes a currency that our wives use to get what they want. Your wife like mine are just pretending in counseling and we fall for it until we realize that the only thing that keep us there is the fear of our future without them. I was married with a narcissistic wife for 30 years and the patterns are now pretty clear. Her love bombing followed with discardment to the point of making me feel constantly rejected and dismissed. When I decided to stop playing her game and exposed her with her lies she went nuts and assaulted me. I can see now who she is and wonder why it took me so long. I should have stopped this 10 years ago.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-05-02T09:10:40+00:00

Marriage counseling is a WOMBAT: Waste of money, brains and time. Genuine desire cannot be negotiated. When you negotiate desire, it leads to obligated compliance which causes resentment in both parties.

No_more_BPD_2020 · 2022-05-01T18:33:27+00:00

Did couples counseling. She bailed quickly when it didn't go her way. Went to 4 or 5 therapists of different backgrounds to see if I was doing the right thing. That helped put out the spark of hope. Also r/BPDlovedones helped a bunch.

Masypha · 2022-05-01T18:54:38+00:00

Read the rational male by rollo tomassi and unplugged alpha by richard cooper

waryabout · 2022-05-01T14:08:28+00:00

The fact you agreed to couples counseling already shows your marriage was doomed.

pegleg_legal · 2022-05-02T02:29:21+00:00

no. she went once and refused to go back when the shrink (that SHE CHOSE) called her out on her bullshit

CaliDude75 · 2022-05-02T03:26:30+00:00

Marriage counseling only works if both partners are committed to mutual improvement. If it’s a mutual “bitch session” then yes, it’s cathartic in a way, and you have a referee to embolden you to say things you might not normally say to their face, but otherwise, it’s expensive “unloading.”

In my case, it couldn’t save what was irretrievably broken. 🤷🏻‍♂️

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2022-05-08T14:38:02+00:00

Most marriage counselors are feminists who are trained in ideology and will find ways to blame the man

ndeniably · 2022-05-01T13:34:44+00:00

What is it that you feel is not reconcialable to the point of divorce for you?

Title	Does this happen to anyone else? Marriage counseling.
Author	BosPatriot71
Upvotes	14
Comments	34
Date	May 1, 2022 11:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ufyagp/does_this_happen_to_anyone_else_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/does-this-happen-to-anyone-else-marriage.1113630 https://theredarchive.com/post/1113630

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