For the men

Efficient_Algae7462 · 2024-12-14T15:28:30+00:00

I learned a lesson that women should never be your priority in your life whether you’re married or not. They should come 5th after your mission, health, your money, your hobbies and then a woman.

AstroHustler22 · 2024-12-14T05:57:26+00:00

There are two lessons that I have learned and have shared elsewhere.

1: Never sign a contract with someone who gets paid to break it.

2: A man will sacrifice his happiness for his family. A woman will sacrifice her family for her happiness.

This likely is not your fault. It’s just in her nature.

DoughnutObjective806 · 2024-12-14T05:59:55+00:00

Most women view men as a means to an end. Its not about "regret" for them. Guys think like that. They dont. They very much have an at-will mentality in regards to marriage.

"This guy works for now so ill stay. This guy worked for a while and now he doesnt, but this new guy looks promising" etc

And OP...they see the new guys like this too. The game doesn't end with us. Don't forget that.

Far_Space9432 · 2024-12-14T00:21:51+00:00

Sounds miserable man. I’ve never been married so I hope I don’t get banned out of here but I’ve found this to be one of the only male centric communities where there is some support. My girlfriend left me and I’m in my 30s so I feel pretty aligned with the sub. And yes I have to watch her doing what you’re saying, knowing she shopped for a new man underneath me and was dating him a week after blocking me and refusing to talk about anything. It’s been soul crushing.

Techsanlobo · 2024-12-13T21:25:23+00:00

She may regret it, but don't expect it or come to emotionally need her to regret it. Just move on man.

She may end up happier in the end, and that is her job. To find her happiness. As your job is to do the same, find your happiness.

redragtop99 · 2024-12-13T21:25:16+00:00

Why does this kill you? I’m sorry from a guy who’s went through it already, you haven’t even started.

Rustyrockets9 · 2024-12-13T21:24:36+00:00

Bro just do what makes you happy.

1942Midway · 2024-12-13T19:07:49+00:00

Exactly my friend always hold your head held high, I've learned from learn from the past don't repeat it. And know that the sun will again rise in the east to begin a new beginning.

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-12-13T18:48:03+00:00

She told me recently after a couple of years seperated/divorced that women don’t have to stay in unhappy marriages. I was content and focused on building our little family together. Wished I had known she was so unhappy 🤯

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-12-13T17:15:46+00:00

Women do not regret leaving a relationship.

Get out of the house and move on with your life.

twayevrynmeistkn · 2024-12-13T15:00:40+00:00

“Cant make a wife out of a ho”.

I was with my wife 15 years and she apparently never knew the definition of monogamy. I have been struggling with it for years, but the only true answer is to move on. Pride, shame, distraught, emasculation, whatever. All things you may feel, but none of it was you, it all the terrible woman who stayed under the radar for so long.

Edit: just gonna add a comment I made on another post like this.
Leave that bridge behind. Don’t do any more repair work, don’t worry about the bridges condition, don’t burn it, nothing. Just continue down the path without looking back.
Bridge wasn’t safe. There’s nothing else to it. No shame in taking a while to realize it.

techrmd3 · 2024-12-13T14:31:25+00:00

I think the "she will regret it" fantasy is overrated

Granted I am new at this it's been 4 or so years post final divorce, but regret at least overtly advertised is not evident, I think the feeling of regret only starts like 10 years after

what you do see is at around year 3 a great divergence of the arc of their lives in income and living situations.

It has been stated that women's standard of living goes down around 30% post divorce while the man's goes up. At year 3 you definitely see that.

Just so you know it is very common for emotional humans to find some way to "distract" themselves from the decrease in their life's circumstance this usually involves finding a new lover very quickly and then locking that new lover down as a resource provider via various manipulative means.

And human's being human... can't help themselves to flaunt their new lover to a past lover... happens a lot. So be prepared.

regertsrus · 2024-12-13T14:09:07+00:00

I couldn't stay. I left promptly into the depths of hell. I returned a year later a foot taller and with a new life and vigor. Now 3 years later she is facing trial for all the lies and deceits and I live walking distance away with my new family. My kids love the proximity. I never understood why men stay for the sake of having a roof over their heads and not to lose custody. If your wife lies, you leave. That was my understanding all along. I acted in my best interest and in the interest of the kids to avoid acrimony. Best and hardest decision I ever made. It's not for everyone. But if you manage to do it and come back stronger, you are a god. I had no certainty of success. She did in the comforts of my own home, with my kids and a certain foundation that remained. I took my shirt and my truck with my tools and left it all. I would do it again every time.

Title	For the men
Author	Faceater25
Upvotes	38
Comments	48
Date	December 13, 2024 1:57 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hdcqng/for_the_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/for-the-men.1538371 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538371

Comments

1: Never sign a contract with someone who gets paid to break it.

2: A man will sacrifice his happiness for his family. A woman will sacrifice her family for her happiness.