Guilt over Hook Up

Medium_Message_224 · 2025-08-24T02:35:15+00:00

I think it depends on your situation. I left because of a dead bedroom and I hate f*%ked for about a year before I got it out of my system

IcyMycologist4837 · 2025-08-23T03:25:07+00:00

I went out with several and always bailed before hooking up. I finally met a woman that took charge. Needless to say it was a little awkward for me but good. Now I wish I had done it sooner when I had the opportunity with some fine woman. Now I’m ready. So you are normal and should be good to go forward as you meet more woman.

bk2747 · 2025-08-22T04:50:16+00:00

I stayed off the dating market until I got my shit together. Just shy of two years. Had plenty of interactions but I didn’t make myself available until I was in a better headspace.

Got my son for the summer, after he went back to the other parent I took a trip to see a girl I met at a Jiu Jitsu similar and kept in touch with. We fucked like rabbits for a whole week, it was awesome.

Came back home and another girl from work approached me with interest, we talked for a while and hooked up after a few weeks. A few other women took interest over time but I stopped myself from turning into “that” guy.

As good as multiple sexual partners sounded, I didn’t want to get too “cocky 😜” and end up buying a pregnancy test. I stuck with the woman from work and we’ve been dating for 7 months and she’s never stingy with the cat. Basically get it whenever and wherever. Couldn’t be happier.

Luckily I view my ex wife as my mortal enemy so it was easy to move on. Too many beautiful women in the world that’ll treat you like gold to be hung up on the bitch that tried to ruin you. To hell with her.

Cool_Cat_Punk · 2025-08-22T02:07:24+00:00

I personally decided to just be celebate after one or two attempts.

I just realized that rando sex was no comparison to being a husband. It was a weird revelation seeing as though I was a major slut before settling down.

I was so jealous of my wife fucking all the men, I thought I could balance that out by getting laid. Turns out I just outgrew that phase of my life.

I found myself saying "OK bye. Leave now. Talk to you soon" rather than "I'm going to make you my special omelet in the morning".

We're all different, and it was a shock to find out I personally no longer look at sex the same way. But with time, I actually prefer being alone.

engineered-chemistry · 2025-08-21T23:51:43+00:00

Every time I hookup with a woman I feel less guilty and enjoy each person more and more. Currently seeing the most gorgeous women I’ve ever slept with and enjoying every minute. It gets better.

t_odd_ · 2025-08-21T02:54:17+00:00

Wife left suddenly/surprise/blindside last October after 30yrs/5kids, and divorce will be finalized any day now.. I've been intentionally refraining from making any efforts toward women until divorce is final... At least that has been my lame excuse for not feeling like trying and for being as perpetually sad and completely isolated as I am (first time ever living alone etc)...

So had a woman contact me through meetup.com messaging today unsolicited and I responded to her with brief introduction then she abruptly deleted the chat, but I felt major guilt and anxiety about responding which was eye opening to me... It's been almost a year and my ex has seemingly moved on no looking back since the day she left, while I have obviously not moved on at all yet... As much as I know fellow divorced men promise that it gets better eventually, I am in a state of solid disbelief currently and feeling like this egg can never be unscrambled. Scrambled is the new forever normal...

KendhammerJ · 2025-08-20T16:55:56+00:00

It was a weird situation for me. My wife left me for her co-worker and because I was overweight and no social skills it took me a while to find someone new. Because I wasn't able to attract anyone new I focused on her and her new boyfriend a lot and didn't progress or heal. Once I did work on myself and had my first hook up I still felt a little guilty even though she had moved on months before.

I think I thought I was some how betraying her or that I wasn't the "great guy" who would wait for her until she realized her mistake. As I started to meet new people and get more experiences though, it really changed my entire mindset about the divorce and it made me super grateful for everything that happened.

I think it is normal and just takes time to process and more forward. I heard somewhere it takes 5 years to completely move on after you've been in a long term relationship like that, which makes sense. At the time I was 34 and we were together 13 years so that was over a 1/3 of my life with this person.

Here is a YouTube video I made from my 8 years of being divorced and some things I learned if you're interested - Divorce Saved My Life

Different_Fee_5964 · 2025-08-20T15:48:47+00:00

You’ll be fine with some time. In my post divorce it messed me up for some time. Bc my ex and I RARELY had sex so “things” didn’t work bc I was used to such neglect, so very specific circumstances had to be in place for it to work. But now, with some distance things work much better and I don’t even think about it.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-08-20T05:35:04+00:00

Marriage mindset is pervasive and hard to shed. But you will, just be conscious about how you think about yourself, her and other women.

Fyfel · 2025-08-20T02:42:34+00:00

That’s pretty normal, that feeling will fade in time. It’s also your body’s way of telling you that you might not be ready for that yet.

tyyyy110 · 2025-08-20T01:01:05+00:00

Keep doing it....the feeling will go away! You're a free man mate! Your mind just hasn't caught up with your body yet, but you'll get there.

whoisgodiam · 2025-08-20T00:39:02+00:00

Now do it over and under lol. Never marry again.

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2025-08-19T23:38:08+00:00

Second and every time after is better

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-08-19T23:03:24+00:00

Separated and never felt guilty. Don't be crying in front of these women either because I lost out on an opportunity with a young attractive woman who said recently divorces cry and their dicks don't work.

AdmirableAir9871 · 2025-08-19T22:51:21+00:00

It happened to me too. I waited about 7 months before doing it. I also had guilty thoughts and feelings like I had an affair. If you’re hooking up with randos then that might be why, if it’s a new flame then a couple of rounds and you’ll see that it’s nothing to worry about. You’re free and clear. You made it out to the other side and you’re allowed to do what you want. Don’t sweat it and enjoy it. It’ll soon be behind you.

Title	Guilt over Hook Up
Author	Upper-Guess1330
Upvotes	15
Comments	18
Date	August 19, 2025 10:35 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1muxes1/guilt_over_hook_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/guilt-over-hook-up.1559980 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559980

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