How to divide assets

ageoffri · 2025-01-04T07:27:29+00:00

Before you move out, you MUST have a judge signed parenting plan for 50/50.

You are being very dramatic and going down a path that can easily lead to high conflict.

You’re talking stuff and most stuff can be replaced.

You likely have a number in mind for value already, so simply ask her what she thinks and compare. Even if it’s lower than your number but not far off, you’ve just made things easier.

Get a new place and start rebuilding. So what if you start with second hand furniture and household goods.

pk2at · 2025-01-03T20:51:31+00:00

Yes, many court forms have option to award the spouse any asset they currently control. Key here is to not use lawyers

Ladiesman94952 · 2025-01-03T08:40:33+00:00

Don't move out without written guidelines signed by both parties.... if you move out too early may lose rights...

No_Surround_495 · 2025-01-03T00:50:44+00:00

If you’re amicable, can you negotiate whatever terms you want ? I’m asking for myself as well. About to head down this path and we are pretty amicable and fair. I’d like to stay that way.

EconomistVisible2767 · 2025-01-02T22:16:24+00:00

My decree was pretty simple. It read something like "House hold items are to be split 50/50."

If we couldn't come up with an agreement, we'd go back to court and pay $3000 in fees to litigate a sofa. So, in this way, cooperation just kind of worked out.

Deferred comp plans (401k/Roth/403b/etc) get split by QDRO. That's another $500-$2500 process. The assumption is 50/50 in my state. QDRO may be inescapable. I think it's one of the few (only?) ways to avoid tax penalties and withdrawal fees.

Defined benefit plans (pensions) are messier and should be left alone in my opinion. The owner should buy the other spouse out of the pension.

I wouldn't break it down to line itemizing.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2025-01-02T20:48:05+00:00

Custody is most important part. How do you plan to deal with it? Her staying and you moving out gives her an upper hand, be careful.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2025-01-02T20:41:15+00:00

All that shit in your house - it’s worthless. Don’t believe me?

When you move into your new place - go buy a used mattress.

Take your tools, clothes and personal effects. Pictures of the kids and leave the rest for her. It’s just stuff.

nickpete12345 · 2025-01-02T20:29:52+00:00

We had a ~2800 sq foot house and we just just agreed on a value for everything in the house minus my clothes/bicycle/small stuff I took of mine. In our case we agreed on $5,500. We didn't have anything super nice and with many young kids everything was fairly worn down but also felt ok knowing I had some cash to get beds/furniture. I coulda fought for higher value but just wanted out.

leaving4me · 2025-01-02T19:30:05+00:00

In most places division of assets is some form of 50/50. House, cars, bank accounts, retirements, debt. How you get there is whatever you can agree on. So you may deal to give a larger portion of home equity in lue of depleting your retirement as an example. It's often though that either spouse is not able to buy the other out of the house and that results in the sale of property. Then there is all of the "STUFF" in that house. I personally don't see the point of arguing over stuff that is replaceble, doesn't hold value, and is a part of a bad memory, but others may disagree. If it's simply a value you are looking for it may be a good idea to have a few real estate agents provide a market value for your property both fully furnished and empty and work from there.

However it goes, keep in mind that your EX is no longer your best friend and partner. That is to say what is amicable one day could easily turn otherwise if they aren't getting exactly what they want (which often times is more than the jurisdiction you live in says they are entitled to). Once things are finalized you don't get a redo if you give up something you wish you wouldn't have.

Unusual_University14 · 2025-01-02T19:29:12+00:00

If you are amicable, you can split it however you want that's "fair". Frankly the "small stuff" doesn't really have to get valued unless you really want to fight for a precise 50/50 split on the cookware. An amicable divorce is worth its weight in gold. If you can agree on the house and retirements and big ticket stuff, then divide the small stuff however. If there is some thing you have emotional attachment for, ask for it. I personally wouldn't fight over appliances mostly because the cost of moving it is more than they are even worth.

Legal fees in a contested divorce can easily be over an order of magnitude the cost to simply buy new shit. And frankly, as someone who had to be new shit, I kinda like having stuff that was "mine" than leftovers from the ex.

TreyGarcia · 2025-01-02T19:06:17+00:00

You both hire lawyers, tell them what you want and have them deal with it. You don’t know what you don’t know. Amicable or not - you absolutely need a lawyer. FYI, your stuff is probably worth much less than you think. It’s not like insurance where you calculate replacement value, it’s more like garage sale value of everything. Then split that 50/50. Good luck!

Title	How to divide assets
Author	EndAutomatic9186
Upvotes	9
Comments	36
Date	January 2, 2025 6:58 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hs1bhs/how_to_divide_assets/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-to-divide-assets.1540203 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540203

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