Officially divorced…

Teeko253 · 2024-07-31T20:55:19+00:00

My wife of 12 years had an affair and after thoroughly busting her , I packed my stuff and left. Had I not thoroughly busted her she would have continued with the lies, manipulation, and now acts like she was “just so done” which was BS….now she’s acting like she wants me to find the woman of my dreams and be happy and healthy. It’s a front. You meet the real person you married at the divorce. Karma always gets these women back because they end up older, ran through, single, wrinkled with crows feet, and unable to get a man to do whatever they demand when they stab their little feet.

WindowFuzz · 2024-07-30T11:50:17+00:00

Sounds like you were with a narcissist; you should read up on codependent+narcissist relationships —that may help speed up your recovery. I wish someone had told me about it 1.5 yrs ago…

Longjumping-Many4082 · 2024-07-30T01:24:09+00:00

Is it normal to feel numb? For many, yes. You've got a lot of different emotions competing. Anger, sorrow, self-doubt, and countless others. At some point, your body kinda says "eff it" and you just process and go thru the motions to get thru the day.

I'm sorry for what you had to go through, but give yourself time to process all of it. Trust me when I say: you are far better off divorced, than being with someone who doesn't love you.

A few key points: - stay away from drugs and alcohol. They only make things worse. - take time to find yourself. Try to develop a healthy habit (gym, fitness, something that keeps you moving & improving. - if you get into a rut, seek help. Lots of therapists available. And don't settle for the first one if you don't click.

You'll get thru this. It takes time. But you'll be ok.

potatotornado44 · 2024-07-30T00:59:19+00:00

Congratulations brother! You have far better days ahead.

Put her out of your mind, and continue to do what you’re doing.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-07-30T00:20:31+00:00

Totally normal to feel numb. Also, the situation, while not common, isn't uncommon.

I had a co-worker whose wife of 5 years just vanished while he was at work one day. Came home, her and all her stuff was gone. No note or anything. It's been 5 years, he's still not heard a word from her, all he got was served divorce papers for a no contest divorce.

Classic_Dill · 2024-07-29T20:12:33+00:00

First off, congratulations! Your wife or may I be one of the first to say your ex-wife! Sounds like a low character person.

I don’t know what to tell you about the numbness, I’ve been divorced going on three years and there’s a good part of my emotional self that is numb, but I’ll tell you a secret, it really helps in dating! It’s a fact that women like you more when they’re not sure how you feel about them emotionally, and you won’t know how to feel about them emotionally either for a very long time, I’m hoping When I have a total of 5 1/2 years out from divorce, things will start to change, but I don’t think that trauma goes away. Take that numbness as experience and a lesson, never fall for those red flags ever again and always make sure to put yourself first and foremost! Now get out there hit the gym if you need, go to Men’s Wearhouse go to the clearance section and rake in all those deals, I generally get $65 shirts for 15 bucks! Pump up that wardrobe and start becoming the man you always should’ve been.

DudeforRighteousness · 2024-07-29T20:01:18+00:00

All I did at first was beg God for reconciliation. Now I just really want nothing to do with her and want the divorce to be over with. The further you get from a toxic situation, the more you’re able to see the forest instead of just the trees.

dave2118 · 2024-07-29T19:31:24+00:00

Yep... She left, the trust is gone. There's no point dwelling on it. Find a hobby that doesn't cost a lot of money that can use some of your free time. I had a similar scenario and it came out of nowhere.

She's not your priority anymore, you are the priority.

tyyyy110 · 2024-07-29T19:28:26+00:00

My man you're free! Feeling numb is normal. Once the numbness is over go celebrate anyway you want to!

MotorBoatingCFL · 2024-07-29T18:53:37+00:00

I got played too brother.

By my cheating STBXW (40F), we were married 12 years, 2 kids, taken for EVERYTHING.

I pray for the day this is all finalized.

Then the real adventure begins.

Stay strong 🙏 and focus on YOUR future.

Embarrassed-Steak331 · 2024-07-29T18:48:24+00:00

Congrats!

It was the third happiest day of my life. She made the divorce absolutely brutal and bled out money every which way. I was barely able to keep my kid in college. The decree freed up all my funds.

She didn't have any regard for collateral damage.

ActiveShooter696969 · 2024-07-29T18:27:18+00:00

Congrats, bud. Mine was finalized back in June, and tbh I've never been happier. The depression and "numbness" went away rather quickly for me, but everyone's situation is different. You may want to explore therapy or get a hobby to occupy your mind. Surround yourself with friends and family. In the meantime, hit the gym and enjoy some peace and quiet. Good luck.

Movieman_Steve · 2024-07-29T18:24:02+00:00

My wife did the same thing mid May '24, I felt numb the first 2 weeks cause there was no words on "I'm leaving you", just Blam- almost all of her stuff gone. I guess you can say we're in separation but look forward to enjoying single life where no one ties you down to stuff in life. That's what I've been doing- and I've have several people notice I'm more upbeat and more positive outward even though I'm a introvert. Just keep looking forward and do the things YOU want to do or wanted to try while you were married. Live your own life.

Reflog1791 · 2024-07-29T18:16:08+00:00

Let freedom ring. Move forward and make your life awesome. Dwell on the future you’re building, not the past.

Odd-Collection9840 · 2024-07-29T17:41:48+00:00

You have a wide open future now tho!!! Take advantage of your freedom!!!

Title	Officially divorced…
Author	Evening_Room2186
Upvotes	51
Comments	60
Date	July 29, 2024 5:33 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ef5ix5/officially_divorced/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/officially-divorced.1525695 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525695

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