Reality.

traveler12166 · 2024-08-16T04:51:27+00:00

You can't change her the only one you can change is yourself. get divorced be happy

CommercialConcern828 · 2024-08-13T23:14:28+00:00

The only way ironically that she would change her mind is if you walked away without a care in the world.

That signifies someone coming from abundance or at least an abundant mindset. Men like these don’t pine after women, they understand that if one goes, there is a better one round the corner depending on whether better for the individual mam means more feminine or hotter, younger and prettier et al/

Women despise weakness and neediness from a very instinctual level and your action has only confirmed that she was right in divorcing you.

Anyway, work on yourself and work on maximizing your 3Ms.

I guarantee you that if you improve she will come looking for you. It happens.

Why you would take her back would baffle me but I live and let live.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-08-12T14:24:46+00:00

Nope. Don’t be like me. I literally got on my knees and begged my ex wife to do counseling with me and work on things.

She agreed after a lot of push back and spend 2 one hour sessions tearing me to pieces. I barely got a word in. In fact a lot of the “stories” she was sitting next to me telling about me were either dramatically changed from what actually happened or made up entirely from scratch. I sat there, shellshocked and in disbelief.

Turns out she was having an affair. Not saying yours is, but if she’s totally indifferent it’s over.

MR-Ozmidnight · 2024-08-12T07:41:10+00:00

No, they don't. She's gone, and I'm going to give you a hint ? Get a good lawyer right away if you want to keep most of what you have. Trust me, it may even be too late. Women are about 6 months ahead of males. She's gone. I would guess she has a PA if not an EA at least, So start moving when they say they want out they are way gone do not Beg, ever. I suggest you read, Leave a cheater, gain a life, Doing the 180, And, Great Rocking These publications will save you on how to move forward, she is treating you with contempt, so you need to do the 180 and Gray Roke her, that will show herno you are as serious as she is. You can get those publication's on line. I wish you all the luck in the world,

Ancient-Homework7557 · 2024-08-12T01:17:19+00:00

Her mind is made up. Don’t degrade yourself by pleading. Say she acquiesces? Go more months? A year or more. Take it from a guy who acquiesced, bent over backwards and did everything. I won’t matter. She’s decided. File before she does. It’s a long shitty slog through the jungle.

captainchippsixx · 2024-08-11T23:41:05+00:00

It’s all about actions not words.
You should be the leader in divorce. It’s now a business deal. I don’t know th particulars but if she is like that she has moved on. You sure she hasn’t monkeyed to another guy already?

But they always come back- could be in 10 years.

engineered-chemistry · 2024-08-11T22:45:02+00:00

Make a separation agreement. Let her realize what she’s losing. Maybe she will internalize her actions and change. Maybe she won’t and you move on knowing you did what you could. A marriage takes two people trying.

SnooGuavas9074 · 2024-08-11T22:06:21+00:00

Think about looking at those mountains man, that’s freedom. What you’re locked in now is the furthest thing possible from freedom. You can’t convince someone to love you, doesn’t mean you’re not lovable tho. You’re a Godsend to another woman that’s out there.

You need to choose your freedom and start you adventure. It isn’t going to be easy, but what you’re living in now is even harder. Show your kids how a man can take control of his life and be what you want them to grow up to be.

If you really take on this adventure, it never gets easier but the view from the top is worth it. Owning your masculinity means taking the hard path every day and each day the rewards come with it.

Emotional_Lettuce251 · 2024-08-11T21:23:07+00:00

Right here with you buddy. Wife treated me like SHIT for the past 7 years. I still didn't want the divorce. She filed last November. Now, even though I never wanted it to come to this, I don't see how there could ever be a path to reconciliation. At this point, I actually fear that she will have some sort of "come to Jesus" moment and say she made a mistake. I don't see how I could ever trust this woman again.

AirSailer · 2024-08-11T21:10:33+00:00

They never change their mind do they?

Of course they change their minds, they are constantly changing their minds based on their feelings. This is why women are never consistent with their words and you should always judge them by their actions.

Why are you begging? That's a weak move, and women are repulsed by weak men. How often have seen a man beg for anything and gain respect for him? I'm guessing never. Your marriage is over, have some dignity and stand up for yourself and do what needs to be done... Call a lawyer, get them to file as soon as possible. Build up your own momentum, don't be weak and reactive, if she senses either of those qualities she'll use them to her advantage.

MsunuKany0k0 · 2024-08-11T19:30:50+00:00

I think you answered your question. Re read what you posted

I was in the same denial/delusion about it because I wanted the family unit and she was checked out already

ADivorcedGuy · 2024-08-11T19:25:57+00:00

She has already told you, and shown you, what she wants. She wants out, so you ,either let her go, rebuild yourself and create a new life that you love as a singleguy... or... you struggle to keep the marriage aflot, fighting an uphill battle, take on more pain and battle scars.

Which one sounds better to you?

My $.02

Slowloris81 · 2024-08-11T19:07:22+00:00

Maybe see if she’s open to counseling? If she says no then you’ll know for sure there’s no return and exhausted all avenues. I’m sorry. I also grieved when I could not recognize the woman I was married to from the woman I thought I married.

1AnonymousBurner · 2024-08-11T18:06:16+00:00

No. Chances she decided it long before you had a clue.

xeskind30 · 2024-08-11T17:52:01+00:00

No. The reality is that she has one foot out the door. If you take her back and ask her to try and save the marriage, she will resent you for that.

Move forward with the plans to divorce and work on yourself and being there for your kids. Stay strong, and know this place is here.

Good luck, brother.

FUMoney · 2024-08-11T17:47:48+00:00

Your marriage = over.

oldschool818 · 2024-08-11T10:46:01+00:00

Only when their plan fails, and even then it’s only until they line up another new supplier.

JSinglestein · 2024-08-11T10:33:52+00:00

Rarely. And if they do, it’s only temporary. Best to start planning and looking out for yourself and your kids.

Title	Reality.
Author	Common-Aioli-6722
Upvotes	32
Comments	28
Date	August 11, 2024 3:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1epb9o5/reality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/reality.1526974 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526974

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