Recently Divorced

Turbulent-Falcon1554 · 2026-07-18T04:23:12+00:00

I would recommend trying out a couple of local speed dating events in your area if you can find some! I found some on MeetUp.

I went on several dates on the apps prior to speed dating and the highs and lows were a little bit exhausting.

I was really reluctant to go to speed dating, but it was a great experience. Talked to 15 different women for 5 minutes each. Matched with 6 or 7 that were interesting and went out a few nights later with the one that really caught my eye. We've been exclusive for a couple months now and it has been amazing! If nothing else it would have been really great practice talking to new people and getting back into dating after almost 20 years with my ex.

41 w/2 kids for context.

OutlawsA1-5 · 2026-07-16T19:53:47+00:00

Facebook dating has been the best!!!

yourefunny · 2026-07-15T12:14:39+00:00

My best experiences have been hinge, bumble and feeld. Feeld is great if you are kinky! My profile is still pretty rubbish as I just don't have any decent photos of myself without my ex or kids etc. Had a date last night from feeld. I have been separated about a year and using the apps about 6 months. It can be mighty hard and lots of ghosting happens. But I have had a good few dates and met some lovely women, nothing long term, but I am not looking for that at the moment. Tinder has been the worst by far. I am in the UK and out in the countryside. Haven't spoken to or met anyone toxic. But might just be where I am. I know I would have been far more successful if I could lose my belly. So I would concentrate on the gym and diet if you need some help there. Wish feeld was around when I was in my 20s!!!

probebeta · 2026-07-15T03:54:53+00:00

Hinge

_cuzimlonely_ · 2026-07-15T00:44:06+00:00

Sweet Jesus. Some of these comments man.
Look, no one can tell you when you are ready. Do you. Be happy and don’t listen to any comment telling you to not date or avoid the apps.
I used bumble and hinge. Didn’t pay a dime. Hinge was far better for me than any other. That being said I was actively looking for a relationship, not hookups. Hookups were easy to get if you took decent pictures and made a halfway decent attempt to comment/ talk to women. It isn’t hard.
I’m 41 have 2 young kids and, most importantly, I am not fit. I live in the upper Midwest, not Chicago.
You have nothing to loose. Give it a shot and enjoy the ride.

Tryin_Real_hard · 2026-07-14T23:03:45+00:00

They're all terrible. Just hang out in the bread or ice cream aisle at the nearest grocery store. You'll probably have better luck there.

chohare · 2026-07-14T22:44:01+00:00

I’m a divorced single dad who had never used apps until I was separated at 48. The apps that I’ve had the best experiences on are Feeld & Bumble. I’ve had a lot of fun on Feeld and also made some great deeper connections and good friends. Had 2 longer relationships 6 months and 10 month from bumble. I’m 51, 5’10 tall, bald and have 3 kids. It took me a few months to really nail my profile, had to work on my photos and learn how to communicate effectively via messaging. Also have something you’re passionate about in your life, women love when you have an interest. And be super clear within yourself on what you want, what your boundaries are and be able to communicate them in a healthy and attractive way. It’s not easy out there but just keep working at it and you’ll find your groove.

Main-Produce-7291 · 2026-07-14T22:15:41+00:00

I have been separated for two years and divorced two months ago. I have used apps on and off, and they have been an absolute source of resentment, toxicity, and exhaustion for me emotionally. I have had zero success on the apps.

Just to give you context, I am a 39-year-old male writer based in L.A. In real life, I have gone out with models, actors, artists, and creative, stunning women, but on apps I have never gotten anything.

My dating strategy has been focused on myself: growing my art and my work. From there, someone authentic can show up, or they may not. At least someone is showing up through my art, but on apps no one is even showing up.

I am currently on Facebook Dating, and again, it's been a cricket silence. That's how it has been on Bumble, Hinge, and another app that requires verification and stuff. It's supposed to be a high-leverage app, and I got approval for that too, but it's just not worth it, man.

Fan_of_Sanity · 2026-07-14T21:53:13+00:00

I don’t have an answer for you because I’m not dating yet.

I’m dreading using the apps when the time comes, especially since I’m well into middle age. I’m in good shape, objectively decent looking, professionally successful, and have a likable personality—yet I’m prepared for the apps to hurt my feelings.

My women friends insist that I have to try them, though, and they want to curate my profiles. So I’m going to put myself in their hands, and we’ll see what happens. I intend to manage my expectations. 🤣

YoyodyneCog · 2026-07-14T21:25:56+00:00

If you haven't already yet, take some time to metabolize your divorce first. That means understanding the part you played, how you can be better going forward, and figuring out upon reflection what behaviors from your ex were an issue and what you won't tolerate in the future. Once you've done that I found Facebook dating and Hinge worked best for me but Hinge was very region dependent.

Motor-Hat-3061 · 2026-07-14T21:11:34+00:00

Forget dating. Help feed the hungry, the homeless, disabled, elderly, children, etc.

Love is dead.

Only the light of true morality in service to the needy continues to shine on.

painfulletdown · 2026-07-14T21:01:21+00:00

The other guys are right - you are better staying away from the toxic girls on the apps, but if you dare:

-Facebook dating - totally free, lots of profiles, no bs.

-Hinge - regionally popular, takes more effort so less time-wasters.

-Bumble - seems to have the most fake or advertising accounts. like this the least, especially their matching system.

curiouszm · 2026-07-14T20:55:29+00:00

Relax mate...

Wooden_Alarm9529 · 2026-07-14T20:45:40+00:00

Dating should be the last thing on your mind

RealTrill1984 · 2026-07-14T20:19:14+00:00

Gonna have a hard time. A lot of women aren't dating anymore

jeff77k · 2026-07-14T20:06:50+00:00

Stay off the apps. Meet people in person, join an adult sports league, church, volunteer, etc.

DarthDad25 · 2026-07-14T19:37:03+00:00

I’ve been casually seeing the most beautiful woman I’ve ever talked to for a few weeks. Still super early, but wow, she blows me away. We have already had more emotionally intelligent convos in two weeks than I did in years with my ex wife. I have a good feeling about this woman!

I have never been one to use dating apps. It doesn’t seem genuine. At this stage in my life, I’m not trying to mess around. I know what I want. I know what I offer. I cut straight to the chase. I walked up to her at one of my daughter’s soccer games and it just clicked. Asked for her number. Been amazing since!

Try speaking to women in the wild. It doesn’t have to be to pick them up or hit on them. Just start saying good morning and smile. Start small. All women. Pretty women, ugly women, old women.. doesn’t matter. Just talk to them. You’ll see that they will be kind and grateful for your positive comments. This will also help you build confidence.

mistake-number2 · 2026-07-14T19:12:00+00:00

Its gonna depend age bracket and the women themselves. Around 45 and up, the field does narrow.

jimsmythee · 2026-07-14T18:22:40+00:00

I did meet my wife version 2.0 on a dating app.

But women are like used cars at a dealership. Don’t be afraid to walk away from a bad deal.

Women that aren’t local? Scammers.

Women that won’t meet in real life after a week of chatting? Time wasters. Or too skittish.

Then weed out the drunks, the pill poppers, the pot heads and the princesses.

Then weed out the “rescue me girls.” The ones in bad financial situations due to doing stupid things.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-07-14T18:12:11+00:00

None for a guy, never use the apps. I have female friends and they have 100x the matches the guy that looks way better than them has. You'll be jestermaxxing to impress a mediocre woman, competing with at least 20 other guys.

Also, not a single normal woman has any problems of finding a guy offline, so what's there is single for a very good reason.

Also, at least in my area, women the apps show to me (due being in mid 40s) all look like they could be my mom.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2026-07-14T18:04:23+00:00

The most useful tips I got from listening to man empowering podcasts. If you don't know where to start, I suggest Mark Sing.

Also, read THE RATIONAL MALE by Rollo Tomassi. He is also very useful to listen to as well.

This will point you in the correct way. Good luck and GOD SPEED.

ImpertinentNazgul · 2026-07-14T17:58:56+00:00

Going to depend on where you live and your age bracket. There’s no easy answer here, and they’re all their own special type of shit show.

Hinge, Bumble, Tinder, etc. It’s the dating equivalent of the job hiring process…you’re screaming into the void and hoping someone answers, lol.

Good luck!

Title	Recently Divorced
Author	Deep-Fly5410
Upvotes	12
Comments	42
Date	July 14, 2026 5:50 PM UTC (3 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1uwfx09/recently_divorced/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/recently-divorced.1585043 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585043

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