Seen a hot chick

Chemical-Eye-1828 · 2026-03-02T01:53:48+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that you’re having marriage issues. This is a perfect opportunity for self reflection and self discovery to find out what you want out of life including your marriage. Be honest and think about how you have shown up in your marriage. What can you take responsibility of for your marriage getting to this point? When you’re honest with yourself and commit to doing the work to become your best self you’ll be surprised how much better your life will become. Your marriage may or may not improve but you’ll be a better man and you’ll have a better future in your next relationship. Or you can always just do the work on yourself sincerely and see how when you change your wife will change. This May just be the spark needed to transform your marriage back into something you both want to stay in.

Best of luck

MensDivorceCircle · 2026-02-28T07:38:01+00:00

Sounds like it is repairable, you are at “that” stage in your marriage where you need to rebuild the romance… start going out on real dates once per week, not logistical dates, take her out, don’t make her plan it. Go to counseling to talk through your shit and her shit and how to communicate better. Let go of anything in the past. And the hot girl at the bakery isn’t going to be any better than your wife already is.

MenuDiscombobulated5 · 2026-02-28T01:03:55+00:00

Work on your marriage. Get therapy. Read a relationship book together. As long as you both want to work on it this should always be the answer.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-02-27T19:31:41+00:00

Why don't you work on communication and connection with your wife instead of fantasizing about a woman you know nothing about?

If you leave you are only going to bring your piss poor relationships skills to the new relationship and that is going to fail as well.

Stay put, gain some skills, and live an amazing life. If your wife wants out then stay single for a few years and learn those relationship skills.

Particular_Car7127 · 2026-02-27T14:01:34+00:00

Sounds like you need listen to some divorced men with a SAHM x4 scenario, and get a gut reality check!

If the reality check works, start planning how not to be totally destroyed if/when it happens.

For the tine being, fix the communication problem.

EndAutomatic9186 · 2026-02-27T12:20:31+00:00

Rocky marriage doesnt mean it's over. Should you want to do something, end your marriage first so you're not a cheater.

Looking on the other hand I think most men would say that there's nothing wrong but as a divorced man I would tell you to do everything you can to keep the marriage together. You both loved each other once to the point where you married. Try to rekindle that fire. Once you exhaust all of your options then file for divorce.

Gattsama · 2026-02-27T10:29:42+00:00

Marriage is not meant to be an institution for happiness, contentment, or even satisfaction. Satisfaction. The primary goal was to have a family, a partnership, insecurity.

With that said, some marriages are unworkable and unsafe. If there's any infidelity, emotional/mental/visible abuse, psychopathy, substance abuse, etc etc .

Do you guys have poor kids, the real question is is she workable. If you guys have a workable marriage then you should have a serious open direct conversation about what it is you want to do going forward in order to make sure that you can sustain the marriage and take care of the kids. That might mean divorcing when the kids leave for college, it might mean opening the marriage up and not talking about it, it might mean obligatory sexual interaction, it might mean taking separate vacations, etc etc.

Ultimately, it's important to make sure that all available options were exhausted prior to divorce. Most of the time, open communications necessary, and very few couples communicate openly. Literally have you ever spoken to her directly, bluntly, and was brutal honesty, about your once, needs, desires, and issues. And then ask Kara to do the same.

soparent · 2026-02-27T07:03:45+00:00

make sure you try everything you can think of. Don't rush things.
its not as fun on the other side as it might seem but granted, most of us didnt pick to be on this side.

UrAristotle · 2026-02-27T04:02:00+00:00

No matter how hot any woman is, somewhere someone is sick of her shit.

Nearby-Cut-5021 · 2026-02-27T03:54:29+00:00

Trust me when I tell you that you won’t feel as giddy about it if you actually divorce. I always got female attention too during the marriage that made my mind wander a little bit but I knew better than pursue it. However I would think to myself that I could have some serious fun if single. Then when I had the rug pulled out from me that feeling wasn’t so great. Granted, I’m having some fun now sure, but I absolutely miss my family unit.

I’m not saying you’d make the wrong call by divorcing, but don’t do it until you’ve tried everything you possibly can to save it.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-02-27T02:57:36+00:00

With 4 kids, first get to a place where you can both say you have tried everything because only then can you file saying irreconcilable differences and have piece of mind as well.

You can also work on yourself if she is not coming to the party.
Work like in find ways to communicate better which you can use in the current and the next relationship and with your kids and at work...

Sacramentardo · 2026-02-27T02:27:20+00:00

Divorce sucks. If you guys have a chance to be happy together, try to make it work. Get into couples counseling and let her know how serious the stakes are. Use “I” statements. “I feel like you’re not happy.” “I feel hopeless sometimes.” But start by saying you want to make it work.

TimeCycle3000 · 2026-02-27T01:17:01+00:00

I’m in a similar position. 4 kids, marriage is a daily challenge. We can’t communicate. We’re not on the same page. I’m also the only source of income in our home.

I get checked out by other women, and I tell my wife.

For us, we’re nearing the end. I know this. She knows it.

The thought of staying together is mentally beyond exhausting.

When you think about being not married to her, do you feel relief or anxiety?

Minimum_Step5048 · 2026-02-27T01:10:48+00:00

Listen man, if there is anyway you can possibly avoid it DO NOT get divorced. However, you should understand these things before making that decision: 1. Don’t stay together “for the kids”. If you need to do that then you’re not modeling a good relationship for the kids anyway. Also, would you want them to stay in an unhappy relationship? (The answer should be NO) 2. If your wife won’t try, doesn’t care, and won’t work on the relationship, just get out. You need her to put in some effort and care. That’s the baseline, without that it’s hopeless 3. Don’t do it bc you think you can get a hotter woman or the sex is better. You probably CAN get a hotter woman and the sex is definitely better, but your life won’t be better. You’ll miss the old days and wish you could get them back. My wife didn’t pass the first 2 tests and I still feel like this 4. Understand you will be socially ostracized by all women, especially Moms, and you won’t be as attractive once you’re not married with kids anymore. A lot of younger sexy women just love older married guys with money, it’s just a thing/kink 5. If you do choose to cheat or try to leave, be very prepared for the insane level of stress and financial hit you’ll take. It’s more than you imagine, and everyone will confirm that not just me. I underestimated how bad it would be, not by a lot but it was definitely worse than I imagined. My divorce is final and working through final details now after about a year. I feel lucky to have made it through, it hasn’t been easy. I’ve stayed focused on my kids, not drinking much alcohol, and maintaining my own sanity any way I can. I nearly lost my job etc. Just don’t underestimate it

Koi_Fish_Mystic · 2026-02-27T01:06:50+00:00

Work on your marriage first. Exhaust those possibilities before leaving or looking elsewhere.

The grass is greener on the other side because they water it.

Competitive-Show-955 · 2026-02-27T01:06:16+00:00

Totally normal to be attracted to happiness and joy, especially when things are hard at home. While you should neither throw away your marriage over it nor do anything that would shame you or your current wife, you also don't need to feel guilty or ashamed of those feelings.

If this are irreparable with the wife, so be it, end it. But infidelity is not acceptable for anyone who wants to meet their own eye in the mirror.

Title	Seen a hot chick
Author	MaterialReveal642
Upvotes	1
Comments	21
Date	February 26, 2026 9:50 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rfnm54/seen_a_hot_chick/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/seen-a-hot-chick.1574334 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574334

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