Should I tell?

akihonj · 2022-04-11T14:18:34+00:00

Listen dude truthfully you've already lost everything, your community, friends and family think you're evil..

You have only the truth on your side now so drop her in the shit be out and honest with everyone and hold nothing back..

You might get blamed more, fuck it that's alright happening to you anyway.

Jbr74 · 2022-04-11T14:19:24+00:00

I exposed my wife, the best thing I ever did. She was hell-bent on character assassination of me, and audio/video put an end to that really quick.

Its been 3 years and I have zero regrets of doing so.

Ok-LockenX · 2022-04-11T14:56:45+00:00

How does a man get kicked out of his home? How does a man get forced onto the couch after an argument? I don't understand this weak behavior (no offense). You fucked up by leaving. You should have refused to leave and then worn a body cam in the home to protect yourself from false allegations. Once she tells you to leave, and you refuse, she'll do dirty tricks to get you to leave.

Tricks like this.

crypto_keeper88 · 2022-04-11T15:30:15+00:00

It depends on the situation but I went nuclear when I found out, told her parents, friends, coworkers (AP was coworker), my family and AP's wife. They get so blindsided when that happens that they all of a sudden have lots of remorse and guilt and become very accommodating during the divorce. I got everything I wanted and haven't see her since. If you have kids it's way more complicated but luckily I didn't have that problem. The point is, you are at war with her and need to defend yourself because no one else will.

sparkyslut · 2022-04-11T16:40:19+00:00

No one's commented the obvious, DON'T OUT HER YET. Wait until the divorce starts. Then have your lawyer present all the evidence in front of a judge. Your kids will be there. They will be shocked and scarred, but not by you. They and everyone else will see how evil she is. This will also help you in custody. A woman is usually preferred as the custodian, but in this case, she is most likely going to have perjured herself and it never looks good to a judge anyways.

jimmyjames2003 · 2022-04-11T15:31:45+00:00

Super secret option #3:

copy everything, let her know you have it, use the threat of exposing her as leverage.

Knave7575 · 2022-04-11T17:33:30+00:00

Is she fighting you on 50% custody?

If not, then I would not cause trouble. You will have to coparent with her, and you don’t necessarily want to cause problems.

If she is fighting you on custody, the bridges are burned. Go ahead and destroy her.

No_more_BPD_2020 · 2022-04-11T19:43:07+00:00

I'd encourage you to follow your attorney's advice.

slab3 · 2022-04-11T15:48:26+00:00

bruh

warrior_up · 2022-04-11T17:56:02+00:00

She’s got you all twisted up man, can’t even think straight anymore.

Of course she was cheating, thats why she blamed and projected it all onto you. Based on what you shared above, this chicks always been cheating or thinking about cheating.

Time to Take the garbage out to the streets where she belongs, like the old you would be saying to whatever this beat up version of Yourself is. She ain’t worth another fucking thought

CHEPO1966 · 2022-04-11T23:13:00+00:00

I really regret what you are experiencing, much of this happens, how permissible and condescending we are with our partners, we always think of them and our children, before our own well-being, which is a big mistake, a depressed man, with low self-esteem, and without worrying about his mental health first, is useless. In the end, everyone justifies his actions.
I recommend that you first talk to your children, then begin to expose their lies, that is not harming them, that is called UNMASKING A LIAR, even more so if you are a Christian, remember that there are no white lies, do not protect someone who is acting so wickedly, she is not your friend, at the moment she is doing all this, she is your enemy, protect yourself and your children, this woman does not deserve even a thousandth of respect from you,
Real brother, respect yourself so that they respect you, expose this fraud in front of everyone and talk to your children, tell them the truth, what is fair is not bad.

patently_pleasant · 2022-04-11T19:13:21+00:00

I might be part of the minority here, but do not tell her family or your kids. Why do you want to be involved with her family anymore? What do you have to gain? Do you really want the respect of people that you have no intention to see anymore? Not worth it.

As for your kids, you have to remember that your ex wife is their mom. Your attempts to vilify their mother might horribly backfire and make you appear to be the villain and the one that is causing conflict. This is especially true if they are younger kids. Again, totally not worth it.

As for the community? Out her. Fuck her. Especially tell the church if being part of the church is important to you. It will probably feel sweet, but still do so honorably and respectfully.

Best of luck brother.

whatskeeping · 2022-04-11T15:24:58+00:00

Yeah sorry for your loss and pain. Don't do anything, they likely don't care. Good luck stay strong sounds like your making progress.

dadmacintosh · 2022-04-11T17:48:39+00:00

Telling her father or her family members wont do you any good. Embarrassing her may also hurt your kids. Yes, the burden of being a man. Keep your evidence in a safe place and get out of the marriage. Once a woman cheats, there is simply no way back. Remorse may get her to shape up but trust me it will be temporary. As they say, she will be back to the streets. If you are in a position to leave, get out.

JD-Anderson · 2022-04-12T00:09:32+00:00

I agree with a lot of these comments, however I would wait until AFTER the divorce papers have been signed. You want her to be as happy as can be during this divorce process. Then the minute the judge signs off, I’d out her. I usually in most cases don’t believe it’s a good thing to do, but in your case, it’s probably best. But I’d suggest post divorce.

Title	Should I tell?
Author	Ok-LockenX
Upvotes	20
Comments	50
Date	April 11, 2022 2:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/u18o81/should_i_tell/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/should-i-tell.1110349 https://theredarchive.com/post/1110349

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