Asking for car payment instead child support

Gxl4 · 2022-05-16T05:33:44+00:00

Before anything is settled in court you sign fuck all.

Dont sign anything, since it will be yours as well on paper. Everything you’ll give her before the court ruling will be a gift. As in, you wont be able to deduct it from the court ruling. (I believe the threshold for the money gifts is 10k up untill that point its even tax free lol!, but not sure in your state?)

so dont, dont get burned, and save your money.

Gattsama · 2022-05-16T06:40:18+00:00

DO NOT SIGN!!!

Understand that in most states NOTHING can replace child support, because it is (suppose to be) for the child. You can negotiate alimony or division of assets / debts; but you can not negotiate child support like this. Also without an agreement or order that money is a gift and worst a future entanglement with her.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-05-16T10:44:20+00:00

It's a trap. You cannot negotiate child support away. Even if the two of you agree to waive child support, she can go back to the court to petition for state guidelines to be enforced. And the state will be happy to enforce that, overriding whatever agreement you had, because the state is financially incentivized by the federal government to do so.

And she's lying her ass off about the divorce taking long to process. You'd be served immediately if she filed.

ijustdontcare74 · 2022-05-16T08:47:59+00:00

It’s a trap. Neither you nor her can absolve you of child support. Only a court can do that. Any judge is likely to take one look at that and say you still have to pay CS and probably the car note too.

DONT SIGN ANYTHING.

thefudmaster · 2022-05-16T11:07:13+00:00

Do not give her a dime until a court orders it. If you’re still married, file in your home state yesterday, and set jurisdiction in your home state. I highly doubt she has filed.

I would drive to California and pick up your kids immediately. Why did you allow the kid to leave in the first place. She can leave, the kids can’t.

Honestly bro, you sound like a complete pushover and her doormat. Sack up and get your kids back after filing.

AffectionateAd6060 · 2022-05-16T11:22:32+00:00

in theory it would be a perfectly reasonable request and fair but as others have mentioned, in practical real life it appears it won't be accepted by a court in leu of actual c.s.

lemmingsrevenge · 2022-05-16T05:07:31+00:00

I wouldn’t do it. Too much vulnerability. If you’re bent on helping her give her a couple bills a month. But if it was me I’d wait for cs. She can use that as income to qualify for a loan.

Eve-3 · 2022-05-16T10:09:31+00:00

Oh hell no. You can't stop her from spending money meant for the child any way she wants, including on a car for herself, but you sure as hell aren't going to condone such behavior by actively blocking your child from receiving any support.

Personally I'd show her request to my lawyer and ask if it can be used to help illustrate a pattern of behavior that is financially reckless and irresponsible towards the child and use that argument for more parenting time for you. The less time your child spends with someone like that the better.

keriwyn · 2022-05-16T10:58:20+00:00

Yeah this is a way to get child support and a new car. My husband's ex wife did this exact thing.

truebloodyvalentine · 2022-05-16T11:07:04+00:00

Would never marry again because I thought I got off easy compared to the ex in OPs story. What would drive a woman to act in this manner? It’s kinda like legalized robbery.

akihonj · 2022-05-16T12:05:38+00:00

have no loan under my name and clean credit scores.

You won't if you agree and sign, please don't do it, please don't be the white knight and please don't let your heart and desire to make sure she's ok overrun your head and good old fashioned common sense.

That what she will play on and you know that deep down so don't do it, better yet get a hot iron and hold that against your own hand ever time you think of agreeing to it.

Better to lose a few fingers than your home because you allowed her to screw you. Don't do it.

Get the child support payments sorted, work out that what the legal amount is and set up a standing order with the bank to pay that monthly and list the order as child support.

Her bank statements will show payments labelled as child support and yours will too, she then cannot ever claim you haven't paid and the state will see that you are paying and won't come after you.

Accept you are still going to get burned by the court but if you do everything right and do not be foolish like sign a lease or loan for things how badly you get burned will be far less.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2022-05-16T13:34:42+00:00

DO NOT SIGN!!!

She could very easily get you started paying car payments and then cry to the state for child support and you would, most likely, be on the hook for it.

playerknowmore · 2022-05-16T15:41:05+00:00

Hold on! You live in California and you are willing to pay extra before divorce. Are you serious? Do you know any man divorced in California? Because I live in Jersey and California is the only state that makes me think we are not the most screwed in the United States.

Divorce is a business transaction; don't give anything before, because it might become permanent. Let the court decide what is fair, and pay only that. Do not wait until you find out you are subsidizing her life with a loser. Because they will do everything to seem they are better than you; not mentioning they can only do it with a third of your money.

derelictherds · 2022-05-16T16:12:54+00:00

Don't agree to her child support scheme and sell the car if the loan is in your name!

InWeGoNow · 2022-05-16T16:24:46+00:00

Child support is not something the court will get cutsie with. They will give it based on a formula and won't deal with substitutes. Don't get trapped into thinking otherwise.

jimsmythee · 2022-05-16T17:41:53+00:00

This is a SCAM she's going to pull.

She wants the loan in your name, and to make the payments for her. So that the car payments would be a "gift" and not "child support."

So tell her, "not just no, but hell no." Do not give her anything until you have a court order stating how much you are to pay her.

2022-05-16T18:18:13+00:00

A lawyer can look up what she's asking for assuming she really filed, knowing that may help you plan.

xjeeperx · 2022-05-16T21:05:46+00:00

Nah, if she wants to use the child support toward a car payment that’s her own business, but you don’t sign shit before getting court documents that tell you exactly what will be happening.

pegleg_legal · 2022-05-17T02:54:14+00:00

Don't ever horse trade child support with anything except with court approval upon advice of counsel. Child support is a right of the children that cannot be waived by the parents in most cases. So you sign on the dotted line and then they come back for child support - and you're stuck. Oldest trick in the book.

georeddit2018 · 2022-05-17T20:21:36+00:00

Do not cosign for anyone. Especially an ex.

I cosigned a student loan years ago for my asshole of a brother. Now that I applied for mortgage. The Lender is asking for statement showing that the loan that I cosigned has been paid regularly over the years.

I asked my brother for one year statement showing that he has been making payment towards the loan.
He ignored me and won't provide me with the statement that I need to complete mortgage loan approval.

djl1qu1d · 2022-05-22T04:50:18+00:00

You can probably look it up if you know the county she filed. You def should have been served by now though. There is a discovery disclosure you both have to fill out.

You can always file as well. That will kind of identify a date as a line in the sand for you and then you can do the assets part later. In CA is takes about 6 months from filiing so you have time to get your ducks in a row and file those with the court.

Title	Asking for car payment instead child support
Author	Ok-LockenX
Upvotes	4
Comments	35
Date	May 16, 2022 4:58 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/uqo2wv/asking_for_car_payment_instead_child_support/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/asking-for-car-payment-instead-child-support.1114071 https://theredarchive.com/post/1114071

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