STBXW is delusional

derelictherds · 2023-01-30T19:51:51+00:00

Best to ignore this kind of nonsense and not engage in the delusion.

Gattsama · 2023-01-30T20:04:20+00:00

Do NOT engage with her. There is a reason she is the STBX. Nothing positive or good comes from engaging with them once divorce is on the table. The only outcome is more drama, possible TRO/DVRO and stress. If it's not related to the directly to the divorce (or child care if you have kids) do not engage. Everyone dreams that 'someday' she'll wake up, karma will get her, or you'll get to make an epic 'I want the truth' speech :) But it doesn't happen. There will be no closure, nor should you seek it.

The goal is indifference. She's just someone that you use to know. When I was going through the divorce the eX asked for all kinds of crazy shit (shit didn't work during the marriage and no kids) including:

- we owed money to the IRS. Since I made all the money I should be the only one to pay that debt. I countered everything is 50/50, but if she will concede all debts are I mine I am willing to concede that all assets are mine.

- asked for $15k/mo in temporary support including $1500 for clothing, $1200 for services and $1300 for memberships/gifts. I had moved out of the house and was paying the mortgage and all my own bills. When together we our total budge per month was ~$12k. I took $6k of bills with me. So she was asking for $9k/mo more than when we lived together?!?

- she said she didn't want to get divorced and that we can work this out. This is 'my divorce' and I can stop this anytime. She also said I was emotionally and mentally abusive the entire relationship, and although no proof suspects I might have cheated, and she didn't feel safe with me in the home; so requested sole occupancy of the home during the divorce (I have already moved out, so no TRO/DVPO)

- Everything that was wrong in the marriage was 100% my fault, she said this for 17 years. BUT during the separation she came to except that there were two things she might have contributed that were negative (and not a result or reaction to my horrible behavior). 1) that she loves to hard & 2) she chose to stay in this horrible toxic relationship with me (because love).

Point is, it's a waste of time and energy to even try. Here's a question to ask. Who is more crazy, the schizophrenic talking to themselves on the street. OR the person trying to repeatedly talk to the crazy person and convivence them to act differently 🤷‍♂️

Asleep-Ad-7459 · 2023-01-30T20:44:19+00:00

Nope, she is trying to bait you into doing something stupid. Don't engage, you don't have to attend every fight you're invited to.

jimsmythee · 2023-01-30T22:25:28+00:00

I learned how to just hang up on my exwife.

Every time she screamed at me? I hung up.

Every time she asked me a question and then interrupted me while I was answering the question she just asked me? I hung up.

Then one time she called me up, screaming at me for hanging up on her. I hung up again on her.

Ok-Championship216 · 2023-01-30T20:11:09+00:00

Wow - she is way damaged - do not engage with crazy

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-01-30T20:44:19+00:00

Ignore and don’t engage in these conversations. She’s literally just trying to make your life miserable.

henrysmyagent · 2023-01-30T21:36:28+00:00

No woman is EVER the villain in her life story.

There is ZERO benefit to talking to her so stop it!

Do. Not. Communicate. With. Her.

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2023-01-30T21:35:01+00:00

Just stop taking calls from her. You don't have to take calls from her, so don't do it.

My mental health got a MAJOR boost when I realized the above fact and advice.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-01-30T21:44:54+00:00

Easy to solve: Stop answering the phone when she calls.

BeachGuy91 · 2023-01-30T22:14:38+00:00

Ignore. I no longer take phone calls or texts from my ex. She can only email me which keeps her in line as she knows I can use those emails in court

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-01-31T06:13:38+00:00

Before I got divorced, after I moved out my ex would send me a wall of vile txt on messenger (her favourite medium). Not one msg mind, but hundreds over the course of an hour so my phone was constantly pinging. She knew it would annoy me, so I learned to just turn it off so it wasn’t even vibrating. The fact that I was ignoring her drove her crazy and for a while caused an increase in the abuse but eventually she learned that I wasn’t going to engage and the msgs dried up. Now I only get msgs directly related to the kids, exactly how I like it. You have to set boundaries or she will continue to do this. Just don’t answer the phone anymore, she’ll soon learn.

Striking-Trainer8148 · 2023-01-31T12:19:46+00:00

This may sound ridiculous but it’s really helped me through some tough spots.

You first response to her being ridiculous should be to laugh. If you’re alone, laugh heartily and long.

The fact that this person is making these demands is hilarious. Treat it as such. It will REALLY help with the mental task of disengaging from the confrontation and not letting this person ruin your day, which is all they’re trying to do.

Seemedlikefun · 2023-01-31T17:36:00+00:00

Communication should be exclusively through your attorney.

Adventurous_Rain_279 · 2023-01-30T23:39:01+00:00

Thats their favorite one. I was unhappy, that why I cheated. They are crazy. You wont believe, but they really believe so. Dont even go to fights with her.

WartimeDad · 2023-01-31T04:20:12+00:00

Yup. It’s all your fault.

Small_Quarter_3673 · 2023-01-31T07:50:31+00:00

Best to tell that lying cheating bitch what she is every morning when she wakes up

Title	STBXW is delusional
Author	scootfaster
Upvotes	19
Comments	20
Date	January 30, 2023 7:39 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/10pbtpj/stbxw_is_delusional/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/stbxw-is-delusional.1150662 https://theredarchive.com/post/1150662

Comments