I need help

isabie · 2024-12-24T02:01:41+00:00

women don't like men who are nice, loyal, and committed

Women don't like men who pretend to be nice, loyal, and kind.

This is why there's an epidemic of women being blamed for "choosing" shitty men. When its the men pretending to be a certain way until they're married and/or she's pregnant and its way more difficult to leave. It's become a trap. So what are women doing? Becoming very, very suspect of men.

Are you pretending? I dunno. You sound earnest. But you're also on here talking about women like they're fish that need to be lured in.

Examine why you want a partner and what you want in a relationship. If it's friendship, a partner, joy, sharing a life? Great. If it's because you want a woman to bare your kids, give you sex, clean your house, and pay half the bills? Do you truly like women? Or are they a convenience? I feel like it has to be HARD to deprogram from red pill ideology because in essence women aren't even considered as human as men, and are simply an appliance.

Nikofeelan · 2024-12-23T23:04:25+00:00

People have already talked about this subject many times but the gist of it is you will attract what you are, and people will do what you allow them to do, as in, if ur not firm w ur boundaries the wrong people will obviously exploit that, that doesn’t mean you can’t be kind, loyal and committed tho. (I just sped run this part cuz like I mentioned it’s been talked about to death here)

As for the high divorce rates my personal theory is that feminism has allowed women to be more open and firm about what they want in relationships and in life, I believe this is great, but one thing that’s happening is that we’re sort of going through a transitional period, from the old patriarchal mindset (taboo to get divorced, women as second-class citizens etc.) to a more equal mindset (I guess?).

I’m no expert in gender studies this is just my take haha

Yamureska · 2024-12-23T23:04:28+00:00

Nice guys finish last

Every Woman I know or met that broke up talked about how their exes were controlling, stalkers, etc. One ex even chased my friend to a party where he wasn't invited.

I can't speak to whether or not Women turn down or aren't attracted to "nice" guys, but no Woman I know broke up with a guy for being too nice. At most they broke up for the guy being too needy or too eager to please, which is not "nice".

meleyys · 2024-12-23T23:22:13+00:00

What do divorce rates prove? Most relationships don't work out. That's got nothing to do with whether the red pill is true or not.

xvszero · 2024-12-24T00:18:27+00:00

What do the divorce rates have to do with anything? Without context divorce rates tell us nothing.

Anyway I'm nice loyal and committed and my wife loves me a lot. It's anecdotal but maybe you need to hear some good anecdotes too.

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2024-12-24T01:11:33+00:00

There is literally zero logic of "divorce rates are high" thus "weird redpill package deal". Do you seriously think that only women initiate divorces, and if that was true, how would this be solved by online posturing?

Practical-Tea-3337 · 2024-12-24T05:42:18+00:00

Dude, get offline. Learn who you are. Pursue your hobbies, or find some.

Online, there's simps and alphas, and nothing in between.

That's not real life.

You can be kind without being a pushover. You can be confident and take charge without being an asshole.

Just be a real person and go out and meet real people.

It might take a while to meet the right person, but in the meantime, enjoy your life.

Nevermind the divorce stats. Just be the best version of yourself.

South_Spring5210 · 2024-12-24T08:55:19+00:00

How many healthy long-term relationships do you know of IRL that fit this narrative? How many relationships or people do you know that don’t?

Every relationship and person is unique, and the reasons why people divorce are not so simple.

Redpill literally preys on your fears and sells you a simple scary story about what women and relationships are like. They intentionally feed your insecurities and give you new ones so that you keep coming back to the $content$ to figure out how to protect yourself.

Women are just people. There’s good ones and bad ones and loyal ones and cheating ones. Just like there’s all kinds of men. There’s women who want to settle down with a nice guy and women who like bad boys and just want to have fun.

Ask yourself what kind of person you want to be and what you know to be true. Do you really want to live in constant paranoia of women and in competition with men? Or can you accept that the world is strange and complex, that there are good people in this world, and that healthy friendships and relationships can exist for you?

https://medium.com/illumination/how-to-get-out-of-the-redpill-cont-2a6197b2b882

ThatOtherGuyTPM · 2024-12-27T13:12:08+00:00

What do divorce rates have to do with all of this being nonsense?

Chili440 · 2024-12-24T07:47:58+00:00

Because "nice guys" are insincere. They're faking niceness so when she doesn't want to go out with him he can blame her. Do you really not know any happy, genuine people?

KindlyPizza · 2024-12-24T07:15:30+00:00

I originated from a country where divorce rate is low, people stay virgin until marriage, porn are banned and prostitutions are criminalized, men are heads of family.

If you are interested, I can elaborate to you how life in those kinds of countries are for both the men and women, and then you can decide which one you can imagine to suit you more and give you more feeling of safety.

One thing you must remember though, no life is pain-free. One way or another, every single one of us has to 'pay' for what we got or want to get.

Spazzery · 2024-12-24T08:44:42+00:00

Nice guys finish last, because they put themselves as last.

The most important thing is to be your authentic self, and not listen to the bullshit conditioning redpill promotes. It becomes more and more clear just how toxic these ideas are, once you make it to the other side.

Another important part is to work on your attachment issues, since that is where a lot of the relational problems come from.

PirateDocBrown · 2024-12-24T21:18:02+00:00

Be as nice as you want to be. Fall into what comes naturally to you. but don't use niceness as a tool to attract women.

Nuclearwaifu · 2025-01-01T13:48:27+00:00

Look, human relationships are really complex and especially when people change, they can drift apart. Add on top how gender inequality has messed up most straight relationship dynamics as well as how most relationship in our society are walzing literally all of the emotional labour from what we used to have, aka the villiage, over to just 1 individual and you get a very overloaded very fragile foundation. This is why so many relationships crumble. Aside from the factors like people just not really vibing with another.

Relationships again, are complicated and multifaceted. And there is a lot of pressure also. Ppl wanna simplify it al the time cause it makes em feel better. But that‘s not really realistic. We are too complex to be so oversimplified and if you date with the intention to find the perfect relationship, you will fail. Don‘t accept bs ofc. But don‘t be delusional either. Your date is a human being. Not a concept or a genre.

Rentun · 2025-01-02T17:25:53+00:00

Divorce rates are at an all time high because the stigma against divorce has become far less prevalent in the last half century.

Human relationships haven't somehow magically changed and made marriages worse. People, and especially women, are now just aware that they don't have to put up with abusive partners, partners they're not actually in love with, infidelity and so on.

Just as there are shitty men, there are shitty women in the world. Not one person would argue against that. Some of them are entitled, narcissistic, insecure, abusive and so on. That doesn't mean that all women are shitty though, or even that the majority of them are.

It especially doesn't mean that you should start acting shitty towards women as a whole to overcompensate or something.

The biggest redpill logical leap that fuels so much of that behavior is "look at what this shitty woman did. Thus, I need to act like an asshole to ALL women now."

AutoModerator · 2024-12-23T22:34:49+00:00

Please note that this account has negative karma and may not yet be a trusted commenter for this sub.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Nikofeelan · 2025-01-05T03:10:00+00:00

No disrespect but what the actual fck does divorce rates have to do with your concerns? Do you genuinely think the only cause of divorce is women getting bored with “nice guys”? I’m so confused

itieswhatities · 2025-01-14T08:51:09+00:00

It's all true bro. Go talk to men who where happly married for 20 years, then their wife left for Chad because she wanted "sexual freedom" i love women but they are manipulators by nature.

Sagecerulli · 2025-01-21T08:39:42+00:00

Just a note on divorce rates -- women couldn't hold a credit card in their own name in the U.S. before 1970. So 55 years ago.

So today's 70 year olds came of age in a culture where women had little financial independence, in households where their mothers had little financial independence. This alone definitely changes norms around marriage.

Early in her life my great-grandmother was in a really abusive relationship and tried to leave, but it was basically impossible because she had no independent finances.

So just because divorce rates are higher doesn't mean more relationships are failing. It could just mean that the people who don't get divorced are legitimately happy in their relationships.

Title	I need help
Author	Nikofeelan
Upvotes	7
Comments	57
Date	December 23, 2024 10:34 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1hkz9hr/i_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-need-help.1539344 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539344

Comments