basically it's not just a manifestation of all the negative side effects of pressuring young men with old gender roles but is the fact that these old gender norms still exist and there hasn't been a good replacement.

If young men grew up in a patriarchal society that told them that women can only be look like and act a certain way then you best believe women also got the opposite type of programming.

Women can also project toxic norms of what makes a man attractive onto men and sometimes these things seem like they're harmless But at the surface reinforce patriarchal stereotypes.

Everything from how a man is supposed to feel to how he approaches to the types of things he has to say to a woman are still steeped in patriarchy and it makes it even more ironic when you'll see the most base proud feminist still lean into this behavior.

I remember making an argument when I was a teenager about how women should also equally approach men to even the playing field not only to make dating easier but also to show what men go through on their side.

just as women don't want to be constantly looked at as an object to be approached believe it or not most men don't want to be the person in the role of having to approach but if every man never approached a woman there probably wouldn't be a human population.

almost every single dating interaction is predicated on the man approaching first and impressing the woman somehow we are in the role to pursue and be the human Peacock

sometimes privileges can be disadvantages and vice versa which as a young man I was always kind of envious of young women because they did not really have to do much work nor put themselves in a vulnerable position psychologically to get the opposite sex.

A normal nerdy girl who's conventionally attractive can still get attention have casual sex and find a good boyfriend without having to do much.

when I was in college I basically had it set in my mind that if I wanted the same thing I would have to go through ten years of law school become the best lawyer in my firm and only then would girls take me seriously but think about that.

To be at least in this patriarchal society what is considered sexually attractive as a man will take me literal two decades of my life. and of course there are tons of men who are younger and normal that date and have girlfriends but that's the part of being in the male gender role is that we are in constant competition with each other for women unfortunately.

why would a young girl who has the choice go for a good man where she can go for a good man who also is a lawyer.

our society is just now scratching the surface of not just gender roles but finally how these gender roles negatively affect men and how society can contribute to that but that means women do need to take some of that blame. and I don't mean blaming the way you're thinking I mean as an analyzing how you may have sexist values towards men especially around courtship.

A lot of women will go their entire lives never questioning their boyfriend or husband's side of things especially how he got her.

Gender roles and identities have changed a lot for women to the point where men did make a real psychological change but you have not seen the opposite.

If being a normal average dude was not seen as something that was a detriment to men sexually then you would not see this movement exist