👀

TheKateMossOfFatties · 2021-12-19T10:04:31+00:00

100% all my romance novels feature simply men who demonstrate caring and emotional intelligence. How radical

throwawaynevermindit · 2021-12-19T12:37:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Platipus6 · 2021-12-19T20:41:05+00:00

Ah yes, our unrealistic standards like wanting a man to be kind to us. Tender, respectful. Listens when we speak. Gets up off the couch. Takes us on dates. Enjoys doing things with us and wants to be around us even when we're not having sex.

vs porn's standards of "wanting women to be enthusiastic about their own torture".

WorkaholicParty · 2021-12-19T10:14:23+00:00

Dr Anna Lembke does amazing work regarding addition but her conflating romance novels to "acceptable porn for women" so that she can have her porn addict patients open up will not ever not disgust me. Not only it's ignorant of the realities of porn, when she compares so she can win brownie points from her patients, she misses the point why pornography is and should be more shameful.

bioqueen53 · 2021-12-19T13:00:06+00:00

I've been reading romance novels recently, and while some have some problrmatic tropes, at least the men are generous, compassionate lovers. And she ditches her gaslighting bf for someone who treats her way better.

FluffandRainclouds · 2021-12-19T10:41:49+00:00

On point. Sure, there are unrealistic romance fantasies of a man having infinite expendable income, riding in on a white steed, mind reading, etc. But what women want from said novels is to feel wanted, to be seen, and a man to love them for who they are. The largest flaws of romance novels and movies, IMO, are the nice guy and bad boy tropes, and the other garden varieties of LVM/NVM behavior leading to a good partner. I hate "banter" when the man negs a woman, and the male-catered "romance movies" where Seth Rogan is the love interest of someone like Megan Fox.

Another flaw of the romance genre I noticed: women who read romance types of books and such, IMO, generalize the good traits of the male protagonist onto their LVM/NVM. It is cognitive dissonance, as it is an overly generous projection. Example scenario: "Aww, they have a cute relationship where they can laugh spending time on the couch. Just like us." (Meanwhile, in the same scenario, her man ONLY spends time on the couch. Day to day, he barely grunts a word to her, and only laughs when they watch a show together or he's gaming. But of course he looks mildly annoyed/disgusted when she laughs or makes a comment on a show she likes). If a woman is pickme-brainwashed, she may be struggling with the knowledge deep down her man does not like her (or women) as a person, but lying to herself he cares "deep down." When women do notice this discrepancy and speak up ("gee, I wish he said something nice about me") the partner, friends, and family tell her to stop being "so picky" and "it's just a movie."

What porn teaches is rapey, often violent, mechanical, cold physicality catering to odd positions for visual titillation. It is not about finding a partner genuinely attractive but literally reducing a a person to body parts, fetishes, and unrealistic acts. Not what actually feels good. It allows for racist and violent fetishes, yet somehow people who watch it are more "enlightened" in our culture 🤯🤯🤯

Imagine watching someone take an initial bite of food you lovingly prepared, but only that. With an undercurrent obligation. And the process of them actually enjoying the food via all senses is "worthless" to you. Maybe they're not making the "right" noises or chewing in a way that shows they "enjoy it" in your mind. ☹That is what porn is like.. It is sick and twisted, because porn is only visual and encourages rhe viewer to mindlessly consume, and discourages deriving pleasure from a partner's pleasure.

Also, viewed or acted-out porn scenarios are a recipe for a woman's zero arousal or complete "ick." Good luck using the "special techniques" you learned from porn, Bradley! Sure, you can blame your woman for being "frigid" (because she didn't like how you copied a video). Anything that helps you avoid the reality you are the walking equivalent of a cold shower. 🙄🤔

Unlike romance stories, porn encourages men to be dissatisfied with their partners. Porn is associated with (studied!) instances of men feeling less aroused by their partner (erectile dysfunction), unhappiness with their partners' appearance, violence, belief in rape myths, and decreased gray matter in the brain.

Porn robs people of the pleasure of building sexual tension, an electric touch brushing someone's hand, being enticed by their scent, and wanting to be intimate with someone in a tender, loving, spiritual way. Porn reduces real-life partners to sad recreations of a fantasy, such as a fast food toy compared to an actual movie. Who actually wants to be someone's blow up doll consolation prize, when a stupid internet video supply is the golden standard? I sincerely believe porn is a health pandemic ruining our society because of this, as we see pornsick men behaving very similar to alcoholics and addicts of other things.

When men compare romance stories to porn, I think they know deep down it is bullshit. They just cling onto any excuse they can.. they hate being called out for low effort. Imagine hating unattainable, desirable women, but simultaneously hating desirable women who give them a chance (but LVM self-hatred makes her reciprocity seem "less desirable). LVM and NVM choose to self-sabotage to the point of hurting people around them just as much, or more IMO.

hushpuppyebt · 2021-12-19T16:00:38+00:00

There are tons of the romance novels I’ve read contain LV leads, include degradation masked as kink, and are actually written by men using women’s names as nomme de plume. I found that out when I was 16 and explained so much. Now I google the author before taking a book home with me and that usually helps, but let’s not forget the ultimate abuse fantasy, 50 shades.

WhoopassDiet · 2021-12-19T22:09:11+00:00

Yo, don't equate romance novels with romcoms. There is some hugely toxic shit in romcoms.

If she doesn't like you, try harder? I'd she says no, follow her home? If you can't communicate, bribe her with things? Yeah no thanks.

ItsFreezen · 2021-12-19T20:42:30+00:00

British romance author Barbara Cartland was definitely all about FDS. I watched an interview with her because I was confused why they hyped up Jackie Collins and made Barbara the bad person. In this video she talks about pornography @ 3:00.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNNfZ0xeU-g

matte_personality · 2021-12-20T09:17:18+00:00

That’s what I’ve been trying to say for years! Are those expectations really unrealistic or are they just completely normal things that women should expect from men who truly love and respect them? Women always go out of their way for those they love and they don’t have to be asked to do as such. Personally, in all the times I’ve loved someone, I went out of my way to do every special thing I could think of and I only wanted happiness in return.

-25T · 2021-12-19T09:49:16+00:00

Ayyy where my historical homies at

JesusisKingisLord · 2021-12-19T15:02:46+00:00

I seriously appreciate you pointing this out!

yfunk3 · 2021-12-19T08:55:15+00:00

👉👃

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-12-20T06:54:01+00:00

"Yes, Nigel..." 😂😂😂

spinsterchachkies · 2021-12-28T17:25:22+00:00

Because loving women is gay

Title	👀
Author	Obscureoblivion
Upvotes	2683
Comments	39
Date	December 19, 2021 6:27 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rjqqo5/_/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/1091696 https://theredarchive.com/post/1091696

Comments