You have every right to decline a date, be it your first or fifteenth, if he does not display any of the aforesaid characteristics.

A man needs to be consistent, respectful, excited, and authentic in his courtship. This needs to be true for every other relationship of his that you observe — vet his treatment of family, friends, colleagues, as well as strangers.

In case there may be a mismatch of sorts, a HVM, at the bare minimum, will promptly inform you that he no longer intends to pursue you (they usually know by the first or second date), so as to stay respectful of your time.

Of course, be careful not to mistake love-bombing for genuine interest,m. If a man continues to pursue you, vet him not only for the red flags, but his enthusiasm.

Here’s a set of questions you may ask yourself in order to verify if you want to decline or accept the date:

• Does he express (actions + words) authentic gratitude at the opportunity to get to court you?

• Does he curate the planning of dates according to your individual schedule, interests, and needs?

• Does he express genuine interest in getting to know you better whilst staying respectful?

• Does he clearly show his interest and intentions to ensure you feel safe, respected, and cherished?

No? Well, you block and delete.

Edit: Thank you for the award! 💛