Eventually, the mask begins to slip...

throwaway64857 · 2020-03-08T03:23:42+00:00

That second part is totally and dangerously untrue though. People do pretend much longer with so many things, cheating being the first one to come to mind.

SavvyPanther · 2020-03-08T06:32:16+00:00

My mom always told me to do happiness checks on the 3s—3 dates: you happy? 3 weeks: still happy? 3 months: he still making you smile?

If the answer is “no,” you get out a sharpie and schedule the breakup on your calendar.

didumakethetea · 2020-03-08T00:10:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ny-lady · 2020-03-08T02:38:34+00:00

Also avoidants can become triggered by then and start distancing/slow fade behavior.

GreytracksuitPants · 2020-03-08T08:45:12+00:00

I just had a guy tell me (at the classic 3 month mark) the usual “I’m not ready for a relationship” I told him there was no question of one (after his avoidant and gaslighting antics) since Christmas. He went into full meltdown. He somehow decided I was the one very much into him after I walked away, blocked and became indifferent and that he was the one who held the power over us. His meltdown consisted of call me the crazy one of course and that he’d happily use me for sex only. Thanks, pal.

implygood · 2020-03-08T00:54:36+00:00

I guess that explains why my two "long" relationships were 3 ish months....explains a lot.

starsheepie · 2020-03-08T04:28:46+00:00

In my last relationship, the honeymoon phase definitely ended after 3 months, but I still didn't realize I was with such a LVM until several months later. And by then it was too late, we were already living together & I was stuck. Never making that mistake again.

But I've been in 2 previous relationships with what I believe were true psychopaths. They hid their true nature from me for 6 months to a full year. It wasn't until then that I saw their selfishness, arrogance, & lack of empathy.

Saitschik · 2020-03-08T09:37:55+00:00

Because usually people demand a decision where the relationships is going after 3 months and immature scrotes are often "not ready for that"

This, or women lose interest. Three months are usually the time period it takes to figure out if a man is low value.

sweatydeath · 2020-03-08T00:41:46+00:00

Accurate AF

SaddleUpBucephalus · 2020-03-08T00:09:40+00:00

Also LUST/infatuation lasts for exactly 3 months

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2020-03-08T03:11:14+00:00

Took me forever to figure this out, and I was so happy when I did.

Flopsy6536 · 2020-03-08T10:09:55+00:00

Making things up/deluded/gaslighting.... this is exactly what I’ve been writing in my notes about someone else. He made me second guess my own sanity. I will write a clearly coherent message explaining why I’m upset and he’ll just ignore it. Now a normal person would address it with their POV and even if you didn’t agree entirely, it might make SOME sense. But to just ignore something is A, causing the person who wrote it a lot of anxiety, B, acting like it never happened. Like they don’t need to address it. They always try and deny actually facts. It’s really scary. I’m trying to move on from one of these people now.

In the beginning I really wasn’t sure about him, then I started to fall for him, and now I’m pretty sure it’s done on both ends. But I just feel so freaked out... like, was that real? Were his intentions or feelings ever genuine? I’m left feeling so shitty about myself and he’s probably feeling like I’m the bad person and he’s superior.

I don’t know why I am attracted to these sorts of people.

ilikesoy_ · 2020-03-08T00:40:50+00:00

my dx makes so much more sense now. he acted like an ass in the beginning but after 3 months he took me for granted and started cheating

GreytracksuitPants · 2020-03-08T21:50:23+00:00

Probably not the same guy but certainly the same type of guy. Very similar experiences. Not wanting our company for too long. Although will happily interact from a distance. Except after meeting then it cooled and picked up a day or two later. I called him on that too. Hot & coldness. It’s a cycle / pattern,

Afraid to get too attached, as you said.

Although going by our last interaction I have a feeling he may have invested more than he realised and was annoyed about it. Hence the verbal abuse and such.

It’s dumb but I am concerned a bit for his mental health. Nothing I can do about that of course and I did suggest therapy before without trying to be patronising. I have to have boundaries up for people like that as they will drain me from experience.

It’s up to him now to take that step anyway. Not my patient.

RochelleR518 · 2020-03-08T05:45:07+00:00

I swere my relationships lasted up to 3mths. Before my husband smh

ms_monquis · 2020-03-09T18:19:11+00:00

Oh so this 3 month thing is a known thing? I'm relieved — I thought it was just me.

Title	Eventually, the mask begins to slip...
Author	CuriousCatNYC777
Upvotes	809
Comments	69
Date	March 7, 2020 11:51 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ff3wf0/eventually_the_mask_begins_to_slip/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/eventually-the-mask-begins-to-slip.680667 https://theredarchive.com/post/680667

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