This isn't a post blaming single mothers. Being a single mom isn't the problem. Coddling their sons is. I have a feeling my little brother is going to grow up entitled. For some reason my mom coddles my little brother way too much and I can already see entitlement coming in.
Like how the other day he asked me to make him something to eat at 12am when I was getting ready to go to bed. I told him to make himself something (he's 9 and knows how make sandwiches). The only reason I changed my mind was because he asked for an orange and I ended up wanting an orange too after he asked. So why not cut him one while I'm at it? Thing that pissed me off though was that he never made himself anything to eat.
He does this all the time and it makes me angry. He expects everyone else to make him food and will just starve himself because he's being lazy instead of making something I taught him to make. So I said "why didnt you make yourself anything?". He said "I'm not hungry". I replied "are you really not hungry or are you being lazy?". He replied "I'm really not hungry". I said "so if I were to cut your orange now would you not eat it?". He just made a grumbly noise and rolled his eyes. So I said "I'll cut your orange but you're making yourself something too". So I had him make his own pb&j. Why do I have to do this?
I tell my mom that he's lazy and she agrees yet does nothing about it. When I keep complaining about him not doing chores and making his own stuff to eat she just turns it on me saying that she let me be lazy growing up too. Which is true, but that's not good. I was an entitled brat for a while and I still have bad habits when it comes to being lazy. I eventually got tired of being useless and taught myself to cook and clean. Even though she let me be lazy, poverty still taught me a lesson. Watching her struggle every day to put food on the table and barely seeing her because she was depressed at the time taught me to be grateful for what I have and the people around me.
My brother in the other hand was born when she was able to gain her finances back. He's never had to endure struggle (well, his father is a piece of shit so that is a struggle but that's for another story). My brothers did manual labor when they were younger. They made their own money by selling candy, mowing lawns, and doing other yard work, and they also shoveled in heavy snow each year despite being 12. My little brother now gets everything he wants and all he has to do is cry and whine. I dont like this. At some point he cried because I told him to wash a plate, he actually asked me "why can't you do it?". The fury in me when he said that. I looked at him at with a mean face and said "what do you mean why cant I do it? Am I supposed to clean a mess YOU made? Get up". Again with the eye rolling 🙄.
This right here is how lazy momma's boys are made. I tried teaching him how to clean and cook but it never last because my mom always undoes the discipline by doing everything for him. Which sucks because I see how he feels prideful when he does something on his own. He'll whine at first but by time we finish he looks happy because the house is clean he was the reason for it. Coddling your kids how you give them learned helplessness (which is something I'm still also struggling with) and low self esteem because they haven't worked for anything in life. No achievements, no work done on their own, nothing. Just existing because everything is handed to you.
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