Men Who Have Inconsistent Communication Will Eventually Ghost You

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-05-19T21:57:42+00:00

It will only increase. He does not value you or even acknowledge you as a person if he does not text back for days. It is NOT acceptable to declear a relationship when there is none, because you have no contact and do not see each other. What will that escalate to? Not having contact for a year, but still calling him your boyfriend because on paper, he is? Nah.

Send the break up text(he won't), block and delete.

trawid2016 · 2021-05-19T22:23:05+00:00

Yes. I dated a guy who started going 4 to 5 days in between texts and claimed to be too busy to text. I broke it off with him.

Four months later he texts me and starts saying all this nice stuff and I just ignored it. He asked me if I wanted to go get a drink and I ignored that. I asked him a technical question about some thing he has inside info on and he answered.

Then on mother's day he sends me a text telling me I'm so beautiful and ambitious and smart. What? Do you think I'm stupid? Then he asks me to come over to his house for dinner and a movie. Nope. That's not how this works.

Risoa · 2021-05-20T01:19:55+00:00

This is all facts. Drop him the second that you see this behavior. Like other commenters on this post, I cut things off with someone who didn't text me back for 5 days when we were seeing each other for a month. He literally didn't give a shit at the time and then 2 months later he apologizes and tries to tell me that he misses me and that I should come over. Yeah right. So insulting.

He ended up going back to his ex during that 5 day period and when they broke up for the millionth time he was calling every girl in his contact list to try and appease his lonely ass self. I know this because he literally told me. I took his call knowing in my gut that it was this bad, but I needed to hear it from him. It wasn't hard to play the "but I'm just so confused, I don't understand why you would just stop communicating with me?" He knew that he didn't have another chance unless he told me what I already knew, of course he never had another chance either way.

This was truly the moment that I knew that FDS was right, what is said here is true. Back then I didn't want to believe it, but trust me, many men don't give a fuck about you. They just don't. There's no romance, its only sex, using you to boost their ego, and to brag about "getting" you to his shitty friends. Give them enough rope to hang themselves and they will. Now I know not to even bother giving them the rope. Just block and delete, save your time and energy.

Inconsistent communication tells you everything you need to know about his intentions and how he feels about you. Believe them, it'll save you so much pain and heartache in the long run.

betsybasset · 2021-05-20T00:58:39+00:00

This is my no 1 hate on OLD.

99% of them are patchy communicators.

99% i had to unmatch within hours.

I don't buy "I'm busy".

You either make an 2 mins effort to text ' can we chat at x time later' or you simply not into me.

It's not about patience. It's about seeing the effort and consistency.

RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING.

Edit: added that last sentence.

straightouttashtetl · 2021-05-19T22:30:46+00:00

Reminder that an apology via text, even with him acknowledging what he did is wrong, won't fix it.

tiavarga · 2021-05-20T00:53:25+00:00

I had to learn this one the hard way in my younger days. This was before “the slow fade” and “bread crumbing” were common terms. Younger me had to take a few L’s and realize I was not #1 choice and/or unwillingly part of a roster for dudes before I learned to dip (and now block and delete) immediately when the communication slows/stops.

curiousgoblin22 · 2021-05-19T23:48:46+00:00

This is so, so true.

I'd add that some guys may selectively reply quickly to things they like and take hours / half a day to reply back when you actually need their support or want to discuss things. The delay may not be days-long but will be just long enough to cause you to worry they're ghosting.

And when they finally reply, they'll gaslight you into believing their valid reason. Don't fall for it.

Pay attention to patterns of "convenient unavailability". A partner should always be there for you when you need them - otherwise, what's the point tbh?

crapcakes0987 · 2021-05-20T02:57:12+00:00

I dated a guy last year (the only guy i ever dated) who would take DAYS to reply to me. He would go 2-3 days without messaging me. He once went 6 days and it would drive me insane. NEVER. Again. NEVER. His excuse was that he was “with friends” or “traveling.” He never showed me to any of his friends or family after six months. I blocked him on every app after he did not respond for like a week and half. He ghosted me and he won’t get the chance to re appear. I bet he would’ve by now if I did not block him.

Hateorade_ · 2021-05-20T01:01:06+00:00

Felt this post deep into my soul. They really get you thinking that they’re busy but no one is busy enough to be off their phones for more than two days. My ex LVM didn’t speak to me for three days after we got into an argument (wasn’t meant to be an argument as I was asking for the bare minimum) after I had ask if he could call or FaceTime me. He read my message, didn’t respond for the rest of the day, then when I had addressed my feelings of how he felt after he ASKED, he then told me that I get mad at dumb shit. So in the end, nothing was resolved, we never FaceTimed or call, he stopped speaking to me for three days after I apologized for making him mad by asking for too much.

After the three days he rose from the dead, I was still mad and we talked on the phone. I called him out on his shit, he said sOrRy and nothing was resolved. He then claimed that he was studying for his engineering licensing exam (this whole issue started last summer of 2020, he’s taking the exam tomorrow, May 2021 lol) which has over a 70% pass rate. In my head, it was all bull shit bc literally no one is off their phones for that long... there is NO EXCUSE. He made it seem like I had to be okay with it and it Lowkey worked... I kept telling myself that he was just studying and that I was tripping. I called it a fight but he said he was just chilling and that he was studying for an exam. Haha. Meanwhile, something so simple as asking him for communication via FaceTime or call, turned into an argument, with me ending up apologizing for asking for the bare minimum. He escalated that shit, not me.

empresselevation · 2021-05-20T02:50:04+00:00

This applies to low value friends as well.

starfighter07 · 2021-05-20T07:57:47+00:00

The fact that most women are ALWAYS making excuse for those guys behaviour (at least, some of my friends).

Sis, he is not a successful CEO that is working 16 h / day, he is not a super athlete that needs to work out 10 h / day and follows a strict schedule, he is not explorer that doesn't have internet because he is always traveling in wild places.

He would have responded if he wanted. Not because "he is not into messaging", not because "he is super busy". Busy to what ? Watching TV, playing video games, hanging out with the boys ? (or even being with his actual GF, hm).

We don't ask for men to answer within the ten minutes. But you say, if he hasen't say anything in 24 hours, stop letting him have the benefit of a doubt.

zoologist_to_be · 2021-05-20T07:39:57+00:00

This has happened with every single one of my friends except one who is my best friend and she always makes time for me and I always make time for her.

Recently, a man friend I had a crush on for years decided he didn’t need to respond to my text for like 3 months. At that point he had already ghosted me a few times prior and if we chatted on the phone it would be on his terms only.

I blocked and delete him then he went whining to my best friend. She straight up told him I had blocked him because I was tired of being ghosted and asked him point blank if that was true.

HE DIDN’T EVEN TRY TO DENY IT!

He was all like ‘Yeah I didn’t respond to her texts for months but I was BuSy.’

Glad I have that toxic waste of a person out of my life, I feel so much better knowing I took the initiative to block and delete.

krba201076 · 2021-05-20T00:25:20+00:00

Most people nowadays are glued to their phones and even take their phones in the bathroom. There is no excuse to not get back with people.

Travelcat78 · 2021-05-20T11:09:37+00:00

Whenever i gave scrotes a second chance rather than block and deleting after a few days, i would always regret it. It happens all the time on OLD, one reason why im glad to be off it.

Solid-Liquid · 2021-05-20T12:26:25+00:00

The #1 reason why I ended my relationship. Would disappear and then reappear, just to cancel plans and then disappear again. Ended it because we had stopped literally doing anything as a couple. Suddenly, he had free time and wanted to take me out because he’d realized “he hasn’t been fair to me.”

Had he listened when I pulled him aside a month ago and told him what was up, it wouldn’t have ended that way.

libramo0n · 2021-05-20T15:03:37+00:00

Also... DONT TRY TO CALL THEM OUT JUST BLOCK THEM. Trust me on this. I learned this the hard way calling out a guy for being an asshole for ghosting me on my birthday. He came back with an insult-heavy text calling me psycho and desperate and is now hell bent on dragging my name through the dirt. Wish i had just blocked him and moved on when I realized what was happening.

Snoo_96502 · 2021-05-20T00:48:06+00:00

Thank you, I needed this today!

miwamus · 2021-05-20T23:55:44+00:00

I wouldn't wait that long. If we've been talking consistently and I reach out after work and don't hear from him that evening, he's out.

rideoffalone · 2021-05-20T20:57:48+00:00

I would argue 24 hours is too long to wait. 12 might be better, or even 6. This isn't 2001, we all have our phones in our hands constantly. (Plus texting takes what, 20 seconds?)

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Title	Men Who Have Inconsistent Communication Will Eventually Ghost You
Author	2340000
Upvotes	535
Comments	42
Date	May 19, 2021 9:53 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ngibay/men_who_have_inconsistent_communication_will/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-who-have-inconsistent-communication-will.754144 https://theredarchive.com/post/754144

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