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TheOGJammies
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie163 points164 points165 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Love this. I was watching a Dr. Ramani video today, and she talked about the idea of "falling for someone's backstory." The basic idea is that narcissists tell you sob stories about their past trauma or people who have done them wrong in the past as a form of manipulation. I know my narc-spectrum ex did this...he bemoaned that all of his relationships ended for X reason...so when X reason reared its head between us I felt determined not to be just like everyone else. When really I should have recognized that his pattern was about him, not about me, and was never going to be fixed.
[–]dessertpersonFDS Newbie91 points92 points93 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If I hear a sob story within the first 15 minutes, I’m OUT. Unfortunately, it’s a regular occurrence. #Blocked
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is a new lesson for me. I was always a sucker for a backstory.
[–]waddameloneFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
DAMN this sounds like what happened to me when I was talking to this certain individual. He had me at first with the sad stories. I even cried once about his sad past. Thankfully I quickly came to my senses and afterward it started getting real fucking crazy.
Unfortunately I didn’t know reddit and fds back then but I’m glad that my common sense had my back.
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Nice instincts! So important to trust those.
[–]waddameloneFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Definitely! As soon as they tell me something’s off.... Gone with the wind I am
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wish I'd taken this advice two relationships ago! So many things felt so wrong in my gut, but he did enough sweet things that I thought I was being unreasonable. Hindsight proved that my gut was picking up on something my mind couldn't see at the time!
[–][deleted] 126 points127 points128 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Lol my ex left voicemails of him crying that he has no one and how his own family doesn’t like him. Gee, I wonder why
[–]my_curated_lifeFDS Newbie46 points47 points48 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂 lmao. These “men” are so damn funny.
[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My ex was the black sheep of the family. I felt so bad for him. Until I found out how he had earned that reputation. No effing wonder they turned on him!
[–]MakelotorFDS Newbie227 points228 points229 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
When a guy has a crazy Ex or says everyone around him always leaves him, RUN NOT WALK. 9 times out 10 he’s the reason the “Ex” is crazy and the reason people walk away. He just wants to get sympathy and to deflect from the real reason people can’t stand to be around him.
[–]Twolipz_78FDS Newbie82 points83 points84 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“My relationships don’t last” he says..I wish I would have asked him to elaborate. Better yet I should have just dipped on him ..way before that, even when he said he still lived with his ex.
[–]shortywannarockFDS Newbie54 points55 points56 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If a man is trying to get you to feel sorry for him thats manipulation and he absolutely does not have good intentions.
[–]questionsaboutrel521FDS Apprentice44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes!! Lundy Bancroft warns in Why Does He Do That that this is literally a warning flag a man will be abusive.
My NVM ex used to swear up and down his last girlfriend was not only crazy but borderline a stalker and criminal. In reality, he was actively cheating with her and none of her messages I found to him indicated any emotional instability like what he described.
Huge red flag.
[–]ProfessionalPeeFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In context I can see specifying guy, but tbh it's for both genders. Serious pickmeisha vibes from all the girls I've heard it from. In general, if the whole entire world smells like shit, you need to check your shoes, because people don't just abandon their friends on a mass scale for no reason. If everybody really leaves them, they saw something you didn't yet.
EDIT: I'm sorry, I should specify I don't mean crazy ex, that's pretty much just a male statement. I was more referring to the pic where he goes "everybody leaves me!"
[–]CountingDownTheDays5FDS Apprentice129 points130 points131 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Can we talk about how cute the black girl cartoon is? The baby hair, the beautiful flips, the lashes YAS!!! Let me get my tiny violin for these sad sad crumbs who want us to keep understanding their struggles while ignoring ours.
[–]Wildestrose1988Pickmeisha™️37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That really is the crazy part. They expect everyone to understand them but they never paused to think about how you feel
[–]orchid447FDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being a ride or die (in this bullshit society, give me the egalitarian pre-colonized Americas) is just giving yourself 200 lbs of mental illness.
Fucking pass, never again.
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
M o o d
[–]Diamond_fairyFDS Apprentice17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
When they show signs of being manipulative it's a full army of red flags.
There's no reason to pick up the challenge and fall for this poorly applied reverse psychology from a thrift shop handbook.
[–]v0ta_p0r_m0taPickmeisha™️16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I used to talk to a guy that would saaaaaay thiiissss, ugh so depressing. I was an idiot lmaoo
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When you are trash you get left. Tough shit, manipulator!
[–]empresselevationFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
BOI BYE 👋
[–]doublerainbow11Throwaway Account56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Reminds me of my ex who said that everyone always leaves him and he just wants to meet someone who can understand him. And I was like ok let me be that person for you (without asking the reason why people left him). Boy 8 months later I found out he’s a hardcore BDSM practitioner and has a submissive even before and during our relationship. Dumped, block and delete him. This is the 34 old guy who naively asks 21 old young women why PEopLE alWAys LeavE ME??? 🤡
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He isn't naïve, sis. LVM are aware, they're just willing to use whatever excuses will get us to stay. He knows.
[–]StrainingMyNeuronsFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He’s anything but naive.
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love this dichotomy about men: "No one understands me!" but also "Men are simple creatures." Which is it scrotes?
[–]janetheautomatonFDS Disciple20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the way.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Geocities_SEO_ExpertFDS STRATEGY COACH2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I wish all young girls could be warned to watch out for this. It's a terrible trap to fall into. They will wear out your soul, and look like a victim the whole time.
[–]favoritesoundFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sure! Keep blaming everyone else for leaving instead of looking inward to see if you might be the cause.
[–]futuristicallyangryFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I did this to a guy at the start of this year. It was the best decision and I did a victory dance coz for the first time, I had identified this as a huge red flag and ran away. 😁
[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg I’m dying girlfriend did not give a shit
[–]Bewondered1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know him!😳
[–]waddameloneFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sis’ hair is laid though. 👀
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I will never understand why men depend on women to be their therapists. Like go get a trained psychologist/psychiatrist sir and stop burdening the poor woman with your problems. Men who hit you with their sob story in under 1 second, especially when you didn't ask, should be blocked and deleted. Chances are they are toxic and want free therapy without actually implementing any advice given. They will almost always be a strain on your mental health. Don't do it. Walk the hell away.
[–]Glam_barbie22551 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This was me a few minutes ago with my dusty ex bf before I broke up with him! LEVELING UP IN 3...2...1
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[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie163 points164 points165 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]dessertpersonFDS Newbie91 points92 points93 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]waddameloneFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]waddameloneFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]QQueenieFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 126 points127 points128 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]my_curated_lifeFDS Newbie46 points47 points48 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MakelotorFDS Newbie227 points228 points229 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Twolipz_78FDS Newbie82 points83 points84 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]shortywannarockFDS Newbie54 points55 points56 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]questionsaboutrel521FDS Apprentice44 points45 points46 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ProfessionalPeeFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CountingDownTheDays5FDS Apprentice129 points130 points131 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Wildestrose1988Pickmeisha™️37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]orchid447FDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Diamond_fairyFDS Apprentice17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]v0ta_p0r_m0taPickmeisha™️16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]empresselevationFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]doublerainbow11Throwaway Account56 points57 points58 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]StrainingMyNeuronsFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]janetheautomatonFDS Disciple20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Geocities_SEO_ExpertFDS STRATEGY COACH2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]favoritesoundFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]futuristicallyangryFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bewondered1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]waddameloneFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Glam_barbie22551 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link