On oral sex

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-05-26T07:10:10+00:00

"No licky-licky, no sticky-sticky." ~ Lil Kim

SpectralCadence · 2020-05-26T07:21:16+00:00

A man has to cater to you; YOU are the table, you are the prize. Dump him if he doesn't care about pleasing you and making you happy, there's tons of men out there who would give you what you want (sexually) without you having to beg for it.

With men, always make it known that you could next them at any given time. They should be on tenterhooks.

Sage_Planter · 2020-05-26T11:28:43+00:00

I don't date picky eaters anymore.

Any man I'm with has to have an interest in a diverse range of foods and enjoy eating pussy.

fwe23rrs · 2020-05-26T07:11:19+00:00

It’s small but it is important to you. We are allowed to have sexual dealbreakers. Personally I lose attraction to anyone that doesn’t give me adequate foreplay (oral is an essential part of foreplay for me). You shouldn’t have to beg for someone to sexually satisfy you, he should be asking questions and trying to get to know your body.

I would make it clear one more time that oral is a big turn on for you, but I wouldn’t expect too much.. some guys are just selfish, lazy, not into it etc and I’m guessing since he hasn’t initiated it then he falls into one of those categories.

Neorago · 2020-05-26T09:07:36+00:00

My first ex was the same, took 2 years before he went down on me and even then he barely did it. Until I stopped giving him oral completely. That did the trick. You could try that because "communicate" doesn't work for men, not with words anyway but with actions.

throw248348 · 2020-05-26T11:48:48+00:00

All of the guys I date will say they are incredibly giving and love giving oral at first and then weeks later they get fucking lazy.

They think that me going down on them before sex is the same as me getting fingered. The effort is not the same.

DivineHag · 2020-05-26T08:45:31+00:00

I have never in my life gone down on a guy before he's gone down on me (way back to my first boyfriend in high school). I'm not sure why I did this but it just felt right.

I have gotten ALOT of head in my life.

I dump guys who won't go down the first couple of times we sleep together.

I don't want a guy who does it because he's asked or occasionally or as a treat. I want a guy who loves it, can't get enough of it.

They're out there. My HVM is one. He considers having sex with me without going down on me like having sex without kissing. Not done.

bey124 · 2020-05-26T09:11:01+00:00

If he doesn’t prioritize your pleasure and wishes by providing oral stimulation but still expects you to do so, he’s trash.

TomasFCampos · 2020-05-26T12:45:38+00:00

What do y'all think of receiving oral but not giving it? My boyfriend is always eager to go down on me but I rarely if ever return the favour. I just hate it. It hurts my jaw, I feel self conscious and I don't want to spit but swallowing is horrible too.

VikingPug · 2020-05-26T12:11:12+00:00

If he hasn’t been doing it already he won’t start later. Besides you’ve already communicated it to him 🤷‍♀️

deep_sea_demon · 2020-05-26T09:56:07+00:00

I’ve found that those that are sexually selfish eventually show selfishness in other ways down the line. It won’t get better. He won’t suddenly start ravenously eating you out once you explain it just the right way. He hears you. He knows it would make you happy. He chooses not to. Low sex drive is one thing, not caring about your pleasure is another.

Salt_Satisfaction · 2020-05-26T10:15:15+00:00

You literally tell him that you're frustrated with his attitude, that you want someone who caters to your pleasure without you having to ask. Ask him directly why he doesn't want to go down on you, and if he says something like "I do go down on you", say that you've given him head countless times, and that you don't want to be in a relationship where he doesn't enjoy pleasing you the same way you like to please him.

If he still doesn't change after a while, well...

madnyx · 2020-05-26T13:32:19+00:00

My partners really good in bed, almost always makes me come first, will always go down on me if I go down on him, listens and communicates to work out what best works for both of us (not just him), and never treats pleasing me like a chore. It’s pretty rare to get a guy that’s not totally selfish in bed but that doesn’t mean you should settle for less. My partner was anxious to go down on me at first cos he didn’t think he was very good, but communication and effort goes a long way so it didn’t take long for things to be a 10/10. Hopefully this guy will be like that, but if not, fine someone else who will!

devoushka · 2020-05-26T15:02:26+00:00

I'd just stop sucking his dick until he starts doing it. Yeah itll make sex more boring but that's his fault. Buy yourself a nice vibrator and rely on that to get you off instead of him. He'll probably get mad, but honestly he should understand that it's only fair.

Winter_Inevitable · 2020-05-26T17:50:19+00:00

henny, I am 40 and only one guy has ever gone down on me long enough and with enough skill to give me an orgasm. And I have probably slept with 30-40 men. ONLY ONE.

Even when they do get down there they don't know what they are doing.

kalgo7 · 2020-05-26T07:53:54+00:00

I was briefly seeing one guy, the only guy who never really asked to do oral and I asked him why out of curiosity (it's a sickness, I just need to know.) He had several bad experiences where a girlfriend kind of just did not take him needing to breathe into account and just girls without the best hygiene but mostly what he didn't like was being forced. He was a very gentle person too, he didn't enjoy rough sex and was kind of like a teddy bear, really sweet. He ended things because he started feeling bad about me being 10 years younger and told me I had to live my life without a 30 something year old in my early 20's. It was the oddest experience for me but looking back I realize he was a pretty good one. Up until about 2 years ago we still checked in on eachother.

Just ask your boyfriend. I'm sure you two could find some middle ground.

LizardInFirst · 2020-05-26T10:41:09+00:00

It seems to be getting less and less common, and I blame porn. I dated a guy who said he’d only do it if I would do anal, so I did, and he was actually rather good at it. It seems so wrong though, looking back.

Gelibean244 · 2020-05-26T15:59:03+00:00

For the love of God, you can't manipulate someone into doing a sexual act they don't want to! If the roles were reversed here and he was pressuring you to give oral then this entire subreddit would be outraged and tell you to dump him! Remember his consent and enthusiasm is just as important as yours

sappyangel666 · 2020-05-26T16:01:32+00:00

Sexual preferences exist still. You dont want to go down on men because you dislike it? Fine, you dont. It's your business what you're into and what you're not.

So what if he's not into oral? That's also fine, you cant force him into doing sexual stuff he dislikes. Because that, TA-DA, is guilt tripping him into doing what you want him to do.

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Title	On oral sex
Author	happyduck18
Upvotes	48
Comments	38
Date	May 26, 2020 4:15 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gqq227/on_oral_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/on-oral-sex.675153 https://theredarchive.com/post/675153

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