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SiNCe whEN dO i hAVe to pUt in effORt??

like_onomatopoeia

September 26, 2021

2861 upvotes

/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

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Post Information

Title	SiNCe whEN dO i hAVe to pUt in effORt??
Author	like_onomatopoeia
Upvotes	2861
Comments	42
Date	September 26, 2021 7:09 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pvov9g/since_when_do_i_have_to_put_in_effort/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/since-when-do-i-have-to-put-in-effort.1074240 https://theredarchive.com/post/1074240

Comments

[–]WorkaholicPartyFDS Newbie 212 points213 points214 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Colour_riotFDS Newbie 74 points75 points76 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Diahna7FDS Newbie 143 points144 points145 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Shot_Presence_8382FDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]08__80 450 points451 points452 points 4 years ago (44 children) | Copy Link

[–]WafflesTheDuckFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]08__80 39 points40 points41 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank goodness I'm Gen-X and will be dead before then (but then again the way these scrotes are living they will be prematurely aging and won't last past age 60 at this rate, so I might witness it after all) but when this current generation becomes old men, I can just see them waddling around on the streets in their shit-stained sweatpants screaming "I need my dick sucked" at anything remotely female that passes them by. You will be able to sense them approaching by the stale old-man stench that covers a ten foot radius around them. They will have to implement special whistles only dogs and old people can hear to prevent them from loitering in front of malls and shopping centers harassing the women.

Honestly though, I'm kind of horrified imagining how disgustingly rude old men are going to be when it's the millenials turn to be old. They all grew up being told they were entitled to fuck pornstars and spent a lifetime learning that this wasn't actually true. Oh what bitter, creepy little old men they will be.

[–]shoesfromparis135FDS Apprentice 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ButterfliesHurricaneFDS Newbie 189 points190 points191 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheExtrasFDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ButterfliesHurricaneFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Hot_Procedure1648FDS Newbie 84 points85 points86 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TellCerseeItWasMeFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 235 points236 points237 points 4 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link

[–]dallyanFDS Newbie 177 points178 points179 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 65 points66 points67 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]dallyanFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 71 points72 points73 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Newbie 33 points34 points35 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist 107 points108 points109 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

Wow this sums it up

Most men have fuck all to offer (especially long term) and have extremely high expectations of women even if they swear blind they don’t & they’re different

They assume they can bait us in with calculated nice guy acts and favours…& tie us down with babies & marriage b4 we get a chance to wise up. Then they think they can keep getting away with their disrespect.

I am not a fucking dummy for you to use and flaunt and disrespect and infect with STIs .

And if that’s how you’re going to treat us women, as subhuman you enjoy sneering at, I will be happy dedicating my life to helping women see the truth and making yours more difficult.

And more and more women are refusing to roll the dice on you. Cos 95% of times we know we’re getting a scrote who wasn’t worth it. Like the others with their false promises. The audacity is just…we can’t even be bothered to argue. We’re over it. So over it.

You have yourself and fellow scrotes to blame. You actively benefit from keeping the bar low and don’t put other men in line. We’re tired of picking up YOUR deliberate slack.

That isn’t going to cut it scrotes. Especially with the manosphere and porn making you highly undesirable and high risk low return.

It’s not like they’re cheating with one woman nowadays either (which is bad enough bc they’re almost always below our league), they are constantly rotating women behind your back making them a serious STI risk. They are using you to attract more women. Just being seen with you benefits them.

I really don’t envy most pick mes with men, I feel bad for them. They’re doing a lot for little in return.

Women are waking up and have financial independence & contraception now and have access to the internet where they can learn about your stupid selfish narcissist games and true views to us women

The fact that unattractive average men with low wages & tiny dicks will cheat on & abuse very attractive educated loyal women way out of their league who they got a chance with through sheer pity and luck…..is proof they have been made far too comfortable for what they are and always crave more & more even when they land a woman who exceeds what they deserve.

Modern men are far more hassle than the previous generation, far more immature, disloyal, pornsick, selfish, cheap, incompetent, entitled and unattractive yet they expect modern women to act like traditional homemakers, be stunningly beautiful & never age, work their ass off and put up with all their shit. To have their kids and wipe their chin and pay for them to abuse us.

Why? You are more hassle than you are worth. A constant fucking burden full of constant hostility and tedious mind games and disrespect. And often not that attractive or good in bed or generous. Why the hell do we need that in our lives? Lol they are so arrogant they think we don’t an incentive to stay with them. They think they can blind us and keep us with their predictable superficial monologues alone.

Realistically that isn’t going to cut it longterm - the more we’re around them the more we see a miserable future with a miserable ending we’ve seen before.

I’m not being paraded around next to some scrote humiliating me for years & even bragging about it online. I’m certainly not settling for a broke scrote who isn’t that attractive to do that either. Pure audacity.

Most men don’t want an equal partnership or to work together or see us thrive, they want to belittle us and make us insecure or destabilise us….use and extract us for self gain, squeeze every drop of energy till we’re all dried up. They see us as stepping stones to their narcissist dream of becoming rich & fucking teenagers. They see us as bragging rights or objects to show off to society & parents. Even if they’re undesirable themselves- being seen with us increases their status and devalues ours.

The juice isn’t worth the squeeze or giving up independence for unless you’re consistently bringing a lot to our table.

Which most men are not and are unwilling to do so they will cry in the manosphere and become more manipulative, selfish, cocky and useless instead. They are so woefully lacking and arrogant/ entitled it’s almost comical. Almost. Mostly it is depressing & underwhelming. And I can very much do without it.

I feel relieved getting rid of scrotes. RELIEF. Why do I need someone who actively makes me more stressed and depressed? How would that be healthy for children either? Why would I sign up up for decades or that bs?

I’ve seen the effects of what being a longterm pick me does to women and it’s overwhelmingly destructive and depressing for themselves and their kids, you have more to lose at every turn. Don’t do it

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CatSweetsFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DivineGoddess1111111FDS Newbie 92 points93 points94 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]DivineGoddess1111111FDS Newbie 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

I was just watching the doc Ted Bundy: Falling For a Killer and realized what bothers me so much about these hate-filled generational comparisons that have become so popular-- boomer this, millennial that, etc. It's like women believe any generation can be summed up by A) the few relatively few women any woman personally gets to know; or B ) what male media overlords allow to be said in the media. The view is rather dick-filtered.

I'm still struggling to put this little insight into words. The thing is, every era so far has sucked for women. Without agency or a platform, it makes it exceedingly hard to help each other.

But this doc seemed to take a different turn. For instance, the film shows how women in law enforcement were hobbled in the investigation by internal discrimination. Even Bundy's then girlfriend was turned away when she initially served Bundy up on a platter, taking the highest personal risk of anyone in the entire case. Finally a woman investigator moved the case forward by being the first to take the girlfriend's evidence seriously. But the Florida judge in the death penalty case expressed a lot of men's reluctance to condemn Bundy all along because Bundy seemed like the great white hope.

So much focus had been put on Bundy's prison groupie Carole Boone, but not so much on all of Bundy's male "groupies." How many other death row inmates were allowed to sire a child from prison? The system allowed him unofficial conjugal visits.

The film also shows how Bundy began his ki.lling spree right at a key moment in the struggle for women's rights. It was also interesting that, only after Bundy had been hounded and hunted, did he start losing his ability to hide what he was behind his usual suave "young Republican" veneer. The cop who pulled Bundy over after Bundy's second prison escape was probably the first male to intuit something creepy about Bundy.

My husband's 20-something niece recently got upset when I was joking about kink with my one of my teen kids. She defended anal and kink, taking the conversation into slightly more graphic personal territory than I would typically go around my children. Yes, kids, your cousin likes it up the butt with a bit of bondage. And she's frequently faked orgasms. Good to know.

Since the niece threw down the gauntlet, I figured the kids could use a demo of mom holding her ground since we talk about sex trafficking and the porn industry in dinner table discussions of global slave labor, environmental issues and general neoliberal scourges. So I talked more seriously with this niece about what I saw as the problem, namely entire generations having their concept of sex molded from age 12 by a murderous, profiteering industry that's quickly normalizing rape and pedophilia. Does anyone even know what their true turn-ons are or have they been implanted by corporations? And even if BDSM is "natural" and has roots in our rapey ape ancestors, is everything "natural" good considering our ape ancestors routinely committed infanticide, cannibalism, perpetual war and suicidally destroyed every habitat they occupied? If the "natural" role of females among our ape ancestors was subordination, shouldn't we be resisting even symbolic expressions of this?

Anyway, I made the typical points that are often discussed on FDS about kink culture, but what seemed to really set this niece off was the word "generations." Rather than--duh-- understanding that I'm concerned for my own children's futures in a time when rape is being monetized and institutionalized and when the majority of my kids' gen think vio.lent, degrading porn represents ideal sexuality, she took it as personally patronizing of her. She shot back that my generation had dropped the ball on feminism and caused all these problems.

I didn't know what "ball" she was referring to. I don't even understand this modern concept of "generations." It's not monolithic. My niece had no idea my parents were radical feminists. I was raised to fight back, which I did. Speaking of "balls," I kicked a lot of them. I was trailed by controversy for my entire career. I put two workplace stalkers in jail, battled harassment against myself and other women every place I worked. All through, I got very little support from other women of any generation, maybe just a smattering from outliers in each. My mother, an activist ADA who'd been assaulted in college, a few close friends. It's only ever the outliers who will step up when push comes to shove, period.

What caught me off guard in what this niece said was the smoldering contempt for my generation. I've seen this before in online discussions-- the flaming, generalized, generational hatred between women. It's as if cross generational misogyny has been piggybacked on standard blame of those past generations for today's environmental and economic woes. Is it just another excuse for women to attack other women but do it on supposedly groovy, libby grounds? Or is it just a way that women from ab.usive backgrounds can generalize the way they've internalized their fathers' contempt for their own mothers (probably the case in this niece's situation)? So every time a woman is harassed or discriminated against at work or raped or ab.used by a partner, it's the fault of past generations of women?

Does it go the other way? Are older women who are stuck with or wounded by aging perv husbands using generational contempt as an "acceotabl" way to rage at the younger women their cheating husbands perv on at the office or fuck in quasi sugar exchanges because the student loan debt crisis has pushed 5 to 15% of college women into prostitution?

In any case, Bundy is laughing his ass off in his grave. The documentary is a good glipse into how much agency any generation of women ever had to impact the whole range of issues from social to economic to environmental. In the Bundy situation, women had such a keen, passionate, personal stake in stopping this rampaging ki.ller of women. But women were hardly passed the "ball" to begin with.

Every gen of women sucked patriarchal dick or didn't. Every generation fought back or didn't. Again, consistent resistance only ever comes from outliers.

[–]Platipus6FDS Apprentice 62 points63 points64 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

My father was born in the 60s. His mother gave him everything. And I mean everything. He is to this day an entitled man with zero respect for anyone else and anything else but his needs and desires.

I was a preteen and we were out eating salad and a meal and he poured a lot of vinegar in his salad. He demanded mother give him her salad and then my salad and made me eat his vinegar salad because he didn't want it to go to waste.

Can you imagine that? 💀

To this day - although we haven't seen each other for a year, her eats chicken legs like a picky child:only the meaty part and leaves a lot on the plate.

Meanwhile, of we happened to eat at the same table, he would call us ungrateful for eating HIS food, sitting at HIS take and breathing HIS air. Yes, his air. And he would always look into our plates and criticize how we would eat and how much and so on.

And he would leave the half eaten chicken leg on the plate while we ate other parts, less meaty, more dry.

Isn't that wasteful? He demands my mom cook him a 5 course meal and bring it to him. She's an enabling horrible pickmeisha that would turn his abuse into martyrdom.

So it's never a good deal. A pickme with covert narcissist tendencies and a malignant narcissist never love or care for their children. They are actually doing them a huge difference disservice. And then they wonder why don't their adult kids keep in touch with them 😮

[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist 65 points66 points67 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]blueboobs-FDS Disciple 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+]asupernova9121 points 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

This is really interesting to me because my mom (Gen X) displays signs of both narcissism and hoarding. She’s also constantly chasing after her lost youth but I thought that was just because she got pregnant young.

[–]rbf4eva 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist 114 points115 points116 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]blueboobs-FDS Disciple 33 points34 points35 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MsXxSelfDestructxXFDS Newbie 38 points39 points40 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Hot_Procedure1648FDS Newbie 55 points56 points57 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]desertedstreetsFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link