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spaceislove23
[–]whattheduck77FDS Newbie165 points166 points167 points 6 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
As a divorced women, yes. And I would rather be alone 🤣
[–]throwaway93731FDS Apprentice52 points53 points54 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
What happened? I want some perspective from a divorced woman, lol
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
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[+][deleted] 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
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[+][deleted] 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sailoress7Pickmeisha™️13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re making the right move!! I also stayed with him because I was afraid he was the best I could get (plus he was just so darned niiiice), but I realized it IS true: better to be alone than with someone who makes you wish you were alone haha. Good luck!
Edit: just to emphasize, my ex was the same way about not googling how to do basic shit. That will never get better — it stems from his lack of ambition and self-development and assumption you (or somebody) will do it for him. So unless you want to take care of your husband rather than grow with him, I endorse moving on
[–]greatmanatee2FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This seems like the opposite extreme of what lots of women on here experience. On one hand is the uncaring, emotionally unavailable types and the other is ya boi you're mentioning. I've dealt with both in my love life and I definitely prefer being single
[–]ten-of-wandsFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Lack of respect turned into lack of attraction and apathy.” I have experienced this exactly! It’s so true. Respect is everything. If you’re not worthy of my respect, why would you be worthy of anything that belongs to me?
[–]whattheduck77FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
We shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place... I saw many red flags and broke up with him about 4 years into our “dating” relationship. We never lived together, and to me, it was clear he had no intentions of marrying me anytime soon even though he knew I wanted to get married a year into our relationship. I broke up with him because I literally did not want to waste my youth on someone who didn’t want to be with me... but I also wanted him to find a compatible mate that had the same life goals. I felt like I was freeing us both! He turned around a week after I broke up with him and proposed. It was horrible... but I caved and said yes. I did love him after all, and had already invested 4 years with him... whats a lifetime?! Haha. Well, after a few years of marriage and a couple kids, the flags started up again and with a mature, clear mind, I went to therapy. I basically realized that he was gaslighting me for years, and he did not respect me and my boundaries, which turned into emotional abuse... and destruction of property.
He is a man-child... and a master manipulator. Everyone loves him, he is educated, he has a great job, very attractive, big dick, etc. but, he is an asshole to me. We went Dutch on every date and honestly it felt weird when he paid for an entire meal (no wine or anything) when he proposed, he never thought of me when buying me gifts, he was unbelievably controlling in a passive aggressive way, and overall not the right guy for me. He needs a submissive woman with a good job to support his purchasing habits. Not it anymore!
I feel so liberated, free and just awesome. I hear stories about my friend’s marriages now and I’m like “that shit is for the birds.” I am so independent and confident. If a man wants to pursue me and treat me like a queen, I will let him and have no guilt or shame. But I’m not interested in spending anymore of my time with any man who doesn’t m appreciate me or adore me. I’d rather be free to fuck 1000 men knowing I have no intention of having a relationship with them, than to be with one asshole who looks good on the outside but sucks as a partner.
[–]cloudyb4FDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Definitely agree, I enjoy being alone and me having this state of mind has made it pretty easy to cut off LVM’s at the first sign of their bs.
[–]whattheduck77FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep- I don’t even seek men out at this point. It’s just not worth I’m the hassle 🤣
[–]stillcantseeFDS Disciple275 points276 points277 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Better to be alone than in bad company 💁🏽♀️
[–]SaremisFDS Newbie68 points69 points70 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I though that idiom existed only in my language but it is accurate as hell.
[–]stillcantseeFDS Disciple41 points42 points43 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What language? My mom taught me it in Spanish :)
[–]SaremisFDS Newbie66 points67 points68 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Spanish! Yes!
"Mejor solo que mal acompañado"
[–]saltyandpepaFDS Newbie106 points107 points108 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup. Settling just leads to resentment. I'll wait for someone I can be truly excited about, who's excited to be with me as well.
[–][deleted] 85 points86 points87 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Or worse spend their whole life in a loveless marriage
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yeah, nope.
this wont happen to me.
id rather be single then
[–]samismyboyFDS Newbie62 points63 points64 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I testify to this!! Edit to say my 400$ a month spousal support that I pay testifies to this
[–]partypancakesbaconFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel ya sis. He threatened alimony in our divorce so now he pays nothing for 3 kids. It’s ok I’m free and he’s not stealing from me anymore. I have a great job and can support a great life for my kids. One less to care for now, lol. No regrets.
[–]MagicAte_8FDS Disciple23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
400$ a month spousal support that I pay
My absolute CONDOLENCES 🙏😔🙏
[–]samismyboyFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It could be worse, if he had taken me to court it would have been a lot more. We figured out the amount between ourselves. The problem with marrying a man who makes no money!!!
[–]samismyboyFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
He makes 1/10 what I make so if he wanted to take me to court for more he could have had a lot more. Luckily he just wanted out of the marriage. (Thank heavens). He was an awful husband but a good dad and my kids love him. I wanted to keep him in their lives. He also takes care of them while I’m at work every day and he does a good job of it. So I feel like I’m mainly paying for babysitting. I got married when I was 32 because I thought he was my last chance to have a family, it was a huge mistake. I will never settle again!!
[–]EmergencyShitFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Do you make crazy amounts of money or is he underemployed? I thought courts would factor in the earning potential (for people who quit good jobs just to claim less income, or who are refusing to get jobs after getting a degree).
[–]samismyboyFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
He works in a where house with no education and I’m a nurse. We live in Northern California and I’m in the same union as the Bay Area so I make Bay Area salaries, so yeah I make a good wage. Luckily we live north of Sacramento so housing prices aren’t as bad and I can own my own home with my kids. When we originally got married he was a stay at home dad and he was miserable. I tried to get him to go back to school but he refused that too. He has no desire to better himself but, luckily, he’s not a freeloader.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]samismyboyFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m in Roseville! I love it here! It’s a very family oriented area which I’d great for my kids not so much for meeting people. Originally from Gilroy. So the hot summers are a killer on me, I do miss the cool foggy mornings of the southern Bay Area. I love being so close to the mountains and great skiing!
[–]ScotsburdFDS Disciple50 points51 points52 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Divorced is the best option. Misery is an unhappy marriage to an arsehole. Better single than stuck.
[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH44 points45 points46 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh my god. If you go over to the /Divorce sub, you'll read account after account after post after post after comment after comment of people who WISH they stayed single.
Reading that divorce sub makes you appreciate being single and alone
[–]MagicAte_8FDS Disciple6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for the rec--just subbed!
[–]ButterYourNiceToastFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Better single than stuck, I like that!
[–]lauminceyFDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I never get this! This is possibly your LIFE PARTNER we’re talking about here. Why would you NOT be picky?!
[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. Going to be making life decisions with this person. Going to be spending ohhh 40 or 50 years every day until death do you part with this person. What if they were really really annoying? Or what if they made seriously stupid life decisions? I don't want a bad driver at the wheel
[–]o_charlie_oFDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also I love being alone, getting dates isn’t hard, finding a good one to keep around is.
[–]HawkbiittAt-Risk Pick Me Youth38 points39 points40 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yup ladies dick is abundant lol
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And of low value
[–]quaintlyspokenFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💥💥💥💥
[–]FodderFigureIllushunFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL my best friend always asks about how I can possibly date men who aren't attractive to me at first. She can only date men she considers "hot" in the beginning. (This is surprising to me because her husband is not what I would call "hot" but to each her own.)
I have to be honest, this was my mentality at first but I've seen the light. Attraction goes further than physical for me. I can eventually find someone handsome as long as he treats me well and courts me properly.
[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"I'd rather be alone than have what you have". Seriously. A lot of the women who say this kind of shit have the SHITTIEST relationships that NOBODY envies.
But no. You'd be the monster for saying that
[–]NotScarJoFDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A lot of LVM are actually negative value. They'll take a lot more from you than what you get from them and the relationship.
[–]TheMarbleSlabRuthless Strategist16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
AMEN
[–]MermaidsHaveCloacasFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I say this a lot, especially having had 4, yes FOUR failed engagements. Because I'd rather have a failed engagement than a failed marriage!
(Ftr, these all happened in my late teens/ early twenties; I'm 32 now lol)
[–]TalkBritishToMeFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same, I have a hard time imagining someone faking it for so long though. Seems psychotic.
[–]spaceislove23FDS Newbie[S] 16 points17 points18 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I couldn’t agree more with all of you! I’ve been putting a lot of thought into this recently. I do get lonely/discouraged about dating but I’ve started to realize my priorities. I’m about to graduate with a degree in a high paying field so I can support myself. The thought of being able to afford to do what I want with my money - traveling, decorating my place how I like , doing what I want and just being free is appealing. I don’t need to settle. I think a big part of why I get discouraged is because in my area it’s common to get married young. But then I hear about how their husbands are cheating or how they’re on their sixth pregnancy at 24 and I’m just happy I didn’t fall into that trap. ✌🏻 I’m going to be very careful about who I give my time to in the future, because being single is starting to seem more fun 🤣
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yerp. These bottom dwelling men are not worth your light, your talents, your strength, and love.
[–]ceramicunicornFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Haha of ALL people to be featured in this meme...
[–]drragonbonesFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
well, i mean she eventually divorced them all so...
[–]ceramicunicornFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean her level of being responsible for breaking up her share of relationships...
[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don’t fall for it! Misery likes company.
[–]AyemHerselfFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Joke's on you, I'll stay in my miserable marriage forever for the kids!
...
/s
[–]anthropomorphicsocks7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Getting married for the first time in a couple months at the age of 38. I shudder to think what my life would be like now had I settled for any of the low value men I met before my badass feminist af fiancé. So glad I stayed picky!
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
feminist af fiancé.
Very wary of men who claim this, but okay.
[–]PicklesNBaconFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💯
[–]red_lrker_0612FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hell yes, needed this today as I’m worrying that maybe I’m asking too much from someone who gives too little.
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[–]whattheduck77FDS Newbie165 points166 points167 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]throwaway93731FDS Apprentice52 points53 points54 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (8 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Sailoress7Pickmeisha™️13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]greatmanatee2FDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ten-of-wandsFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]whattheduck77FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cloudyb4FDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]whattheduck77FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]stillcantseeFDS Disciple275 points276 points277 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]SaremisFDS Newbie68 points69 points70 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]stillcantseeFDS Disciple41 points42 points43 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SaremisFDS Newbie66 points67 points68 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]saltyandpepaFDS Newbie106 points107 points108 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 85 points86 points87 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]samismyboyFDS Newbie62 points63 points64 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]partypancakesbaconFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MagicAte_8FDS Disciple23 points24 points25 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]samismyboyFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]samismyboyFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]EmergencyShitFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]samismyboyFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]samismyboyFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ScotsburdFDS Disciple50 points51 points52 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH44 points45 points46 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MagicAte_8FDS Disciple6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ButterYourNiceToastFDS Newbie20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lauminceyFDS Newbie48 points49 points50 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]o_charlie_oFDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HawkbiittAt-Risk Pick Me Youth38 points39 points40 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]quaintlyspokenFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FodderFigureIllushunFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH30 points31 points32 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NotScarJoFDS Newbie31 points32 points33 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheMarbleSlabRuthless Strategist16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MermaidsHaveCloacasFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]TalkBritishToMeFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]spaceislove23FDS Newbie[S] 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]CuriousCatNYC777Ruthless Strategist4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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