Stigmas

LadyArellano · 2020-08-20T01:15:24+00:00

Don’t forget if you get MARRIED and have a BABY but still end up a SINGLE MOM because the father is LVM. There’s a stigma. 🤦🏽‍♀️

Sage_Planter · 2020-08-20T00:16:36+00:00

Of course it is! Look at how many individuals in the pro-life crowd actually advocate for programs, services, and support for individuals after they're born. It's easy to support an unborn baby, but as soon as you ask them to help the mother or the child after birth, it's too much.

OrchidLion · 2020-08-20T01:51:00+00:00

If you don't follow the tight guidelines of get married have 2.5 kids and never divorce no matter what, there's a stigma

Noemie_Mathilde · 2020-08-20T02:53:48+00:00

I have also heard my plenty of "tut tut leaving it a bit late to have kids" leveled at older mothers.

Never the fathers though.

2020-08-20T05:56:21+00:00

Under male domination, it’s always about controlling women.

abadfoodfriend · 2020-08-20T06:06:41+00:00

[deleted]

gursky0 · 2020-08-20T01:45:33+00:00

If you don't get married and don't have babies - stigma.

We're damned if we do and damned if we don't, as with all things.

LieberAal · 2020-08-20T11:36:56+00:00

It's not just guys, so many women are stigmatizing other women. BUT you're never allowed to stigmatize back, cause "that's rude" and "uncalled for" as motherhood is everything in life.

I've had so many female family members and acquaintances telling me that I was basically living an empty, meaningless life because I moved around the world, studying, working and being independent while they were stuck in small towns being PrOuD MoMs AnD WiFeYs. I would always politely say that I wasn't interested in that lifestyle and they accuse me of being too immature and selfish and that one day even I would "grow up" and realize I should get married, ruin my body with pregnancy and give up my freedom and individuality, because that's maturity somehow. Motherhood trumps everything and I won't have truly lived before I had babies. Never mind that I feel very motherlike to my pets for whom I'd run into a burning building and whom I'd give my last food if it came down to that. But no, that doesn't count, ThAt'S NoT tHe SaMe. (True, it isn't, it's actually better for a million reasons, but anyway that's not the point.) The point is that these SAHMs are so fucking judgmental about women, who broke free.

After a few years, I got so sick of their comments, so I started to snap back asking them if they were jealous of my lifestyle if they found this constant need to comment on it? I also started to point out WHY exactly I didn't want that lifestyle for myself (ruined body, self-sacrifice as bangmaid etc) and their heads would explode. They would be aghast how RUDE I was insinuating that I didn't admire their lifestyles, but when they called me immature, cold-hearted and selfish for years, just because I didn't want to pop out kids, that somehow was okay?

There is no getting through to them, because they completely refuse any discussion, they just feel attacked by anyone not reassuring them that they are living the life and thus discount anything you say. Probably, because deep down they know they have been conned and can't bear the pain of having wasted their lives... so they let it out on the fellow women, who managed to break free rather than on the men, who tricked them into self-sacrifice.

I do feel very sorry for them but it still irks me how women are accessories to the patriarchy like that. We are better than that, no need for any woman to behave like a LVM. :/

gooseglug · 2020-08-20T02:26:33+00:00

Don’t forget the stigma that surrounds a mom who’s mental health went to shit to the point that she could barely take care of herself and can’t take care of her son. So, she decides to take a step out of her sons life (because he has a great dad and she knows he will be taken care of) in order to get the help she needs so she can be the mom her son needs. But doing that makes her a horrible horse shit mom!

LemonEnhancingPolish · 2020-08-20T01:19:58+00:00

And then I get shit when I say I don't want to date single dads. Like why tf are they even trying to date other people? Go fix your family and get at your baby momma again unless she's gone or he did worse things to her. Hard enough finding single dudes that aren't on their 5th divorce because no woman wants to put up with their shit, what makes them think I want to lol.

sadcello · 2020-08-20T10:25:27+00:00

Being a woman itself is a stigma and a curse.

letsberealforamoment · 2020-08-20T15:02:20+00:00

Irrefutable evidence that our entire society hates women. Even when you do the narrow, socially acceptable thing.....you are still wrong.

ChristianGirl93 · 2020-08-20T14:00:32+00:00

If you single and want a baby and you don’t want to settle for a bad guy to get married-there’s a stigma. I swear, women get so much hate

mostdefinitelynturs · 2020-08-20T18:06:35+00:00

And men think you're easy because you are a single mom🙄

2020-08-20T20:14:00+00:00

As I get older, the less Igaf. Trolls must be ignored. Acknowledge and dismiss. Thank u, next!

RebelRylee · 2020-08-20T11:42:11+00:00

Well someone commented on my post unrelated to this group that was a post for a different group...which is harassment. Is that ok?

RebelRylee · 2020-08-20T09:37:34+00:00

Are we not allowed to have our own beliefs? I said my personal belief. Meaning I myself as a woman wouldn’t go through with it. I am not implying that women shouldn’t do what they want with their bodies. Someone felt the need to comment their hate on my other post. If this is how this group is then I’m leaving.

LieberAal · 2020-08-20T07:49:23+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Stigmas
Author	libralia
Upvotes	1005
Comments	59
Date	August 20, 2020 12:02 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iczlui/stigmas/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/stigmas.167611 https://theredarchive.com/post/167611

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