That frustration when you realize how most men interpret your interest

pickmieshaexorcist · 2020-08-25T20:17:08+00:00

Predictably, there’s the usual contingent of reddit dudes insisting that they looooove when women approach. I see many women sheepishly sharing their experiences of how that did not work for them and the dudes counter with WeLcOmE tO wHaT mEn Go ThRoUgH.

myousername · 2020-08-25T23:28:51+00:00

LMAO omg I actually commented on that thread. There was a guy who said that if a woman likes him then she must have bad taste. I replied:

Please don't date anyone until you have gone to therapy and have put in the work to heal your self esteem. Otherwise you're just being cruel to the other person. I've dated many, many men who thought exactly like you did: "if a woman is interested in me then there must be something wrong with her". They had zero respect for me simply because I liked them, they projected their own self hatred onto me, treated me extremely poorly, and when I called him out on it he blamed me for choosing to date him. It's a very toxic mentality.

Of course this triggered a bunch of LVMs and I got downvoted like crazy. Here are some of their replies:

Therapy is the privilege of the rich. Us normal people just have to live with our sorry ass selves.

.

You truly speak like someone who does not understand mental illness [...] But you can go fuck yourself with that attitude.

.

[...] I can be toxic to people without realizing it. I don't do this deliberately and I am not a bad person either. The problem is in my self-esteem. I have worked quite a lot on my self-esteem but I still have issues and I think therapy will hardly ever help me [...]

.

I have never tried therapy and I doubt it can help. When you say therapy, you mean going to a psychologist?

I don't understand why so many men get all up in arms over something as simple as "if you don't want to work on your mental illness, then stay single". Personally I hold myself to the same standard, it's really not that hard.

I think they are like this because 1) they feel entitled to date women no matter how toxic their own mental state is, 2) they don't care if their mental illness hurts someone else because getting sex and companionship is more important to them, 3) they are too lazy to put in the effort to improve themselves, 4) "mental illness" is their go-to excuse for treating women like shit because it absolves them of any guilt or accountability ("it's not my fault, I'm not doing it intentionally, I'm not a bad person, it's mUh mEnTaL iLLnEsS")

peanutbuttatwix · 2020-08-25T19:59:27+00:00

Hahaha this is so true. It's like relax I'm not obsessed with you 🤣

Edit: I never show interest first anymore for this reason.

paperbagskirt · 2020-08-25T19:58:36+00:00

Deep down, most men know they don’t have much to offer. So when a woman who they haven’t even put effort toward shows interest, they figure she must be desperate. Honestly, she probably is!

Novemberinthechair · 2020-08-26T09:16:38+00:00

"I'd never join a club that would have me as a member."

----- Groucho Marx

moonlightuniverse · 2020-08-26T04:01:20+00:00

As someone how is naturally very social and interested in people in general, I feel this

Title	That frustration when you realize how most men interpret your interest
Author	sexualfoodpantry
Upvotes	393
Comments	32
Date	August 25, 2020 7:39 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/igjemi/that_frustration_when_you_realize_how_most_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/that-frustration-when-you-realize-how-most-men.171842 https://theredarchive.com/post/171842

Comments