Tips for improving appearance as HVW?

apommom · 2021-11-15T00:47:23+00:00

So many people have posted great advice for clothing. I am also on the spectrum, and I can relate to what you said about makeup. I used to follow YouTube tutorials and spent a few hundred on the best cosmetics. I tried all those techniques of contouring and carving out brows etc. but I didn’t like the way I looked afterwards and felt something was off.

In the past year I’ve turned my attention to skincare and have made huge improvements in that area (was struggling with acne until recently), so now when it comes to makeup I really just use very little product: conceal dark circles, mascara, brow gel, a liquid eyeshadow (which I find easier to apply than powder) and cream blush. Lip balm > lipstick. I look so much more natural and feel more confident than ever - happy to share more but hope this helps!

Keepers12345 · 2021-11-15T01:48:34+00:00

I learned how to do my makeup from Kevin Aucoin's makeup books.

He did a great job of showing the steps that go into face contouring and various looks.

For me, quiet study of the visuals, and spending hours in the bathroom experimenting, helped me learn what works for my face and best enhances my facial features.

bananababy101 · 2021-11-15T00:28:14+00:00

I’d download Pinterest and look up “70s aesthetic” “70s outfits” “vintage clothes” etc….. it can give you a lot of ideas.

But before diving into a personal style and rocking it confidently I think that everyone needs some good basic clothes (for their body type) and also some accessories they love. Some good basics are things that will never go “out of style” per say. Two pairs of jeans that fit you nicely — a dark wash and a light wash. A nice pair of black leggings. A dress-pant that fits you nicely. Neutral colored shirts… I like to have a black v-neck shirt, a tight black long sleeve shirt, and some neutral or solid colored sweaters. And either nude or white tank tops. A white or black button down (these are good for dressing up/down and layering.) Some solid colored blouses or nicer/cute shirts too! Maybe even a shirt (corduroy and leather are in right now for autumn). Also— a denim jacket and a leather jacket.

Once you find some basic things you like that you look/feel good in and can wear day to day, I’d say dive into a style. You can wear the same jeans with 263848382 outfits, depending on the shirt/shoes/accessories that you wear.

Also, if you work out I’d say invest in good quality activewear. I always feel better about a workout when I feel presentable. (Some people don’t agree on that so do what makes you feel best!)

If you can find a cute flared-pant, a matching sweater or shirt, and accessorize I think that could be a good 70s outfit!

Also, to make doing makeup/hair feel less like a costume I’d say go for more “natural” looks. Hair: Beach waves/curls, straight hair, etc. When your hair is wet braid it and let it dry and then fix pieces of it with a curling iron or waver! Makeup: get some good concealer (elf camo concealer, tarte shape tape, etc), a BB cream, a contour kit, and some mascara! You don’t need much to make yourself look more smooth and put together but enhance your natural features.

I have tons more tips too so feel free to respond or even DM if you want!

Edit: the MOST IMPORTANT thing of all though is of course to dress in stuff that makes you feel good!

tortllaa · 2021-11-15T00:32:44+00:00

Having a nice wardrobe is all about the basics! By this I mean cardigans, sweaters, blue jeans, sneakers. Once you have these items, you can mix and match.

One thing I like to do is buy in bulk. For example, I just bought like 5 different sweaters because I live in a colder area. Now every time I go out, I pick a sweater, pull on some jeans, and put my basic jewelry on. It’s like wearing a uniform.

I feel comfortable and confident in what I’m wearing. I also know I look good.

I like shopping at TJMAXX or Marshalls bc the clothing is affordable, usually good quality, and fashionable.

ApartPersonality · 2021-11-15T00:40:12+00:00

It might be helpful to figure out your Kibbe type. It’s not a hard and fast science but it can be a helpful guide to picking garments that optimize your figure. It’s not about making rules on what not to wear (at least it’s not supposed to be), it’s more about leaning into your body’s natural lines.

mypetchickens · 2021-11-15T00:40:50+00:00

If your budget is lower (I'm a student, so I need to stay cheap), I'd recommend thredup. I buy so much from there.

My tip is to wear fancy materials, because that is what looks expensive. I especially love silk, but it isn't always the most practical. Real leather is good too. I couldn't afford these things unless I bought second hand. Also, make sure you only select for clothes that are new with tags or like new condition. PSA, I have ordered things from them that were in bad condition, but for me, they would either let me keep the item for free, and get a free refund, or just have me ship it back (if it was more expensive).

Its also where I buy all my lululemon for running.

Other thing, they have big sales every month or so, so I only buy during the sales!

notallowed2havepizza · 2021-11-15T02:49:32+00:00

I find the Aly Art Kibbe videos so helpful. It is very analytical about different body types and how clothes fit them. It definitely helped speed up the amount of time that I spent on shopping for clothes. It definitely helped me find clothes that were flattering for my figure.

tuberosetears · 2021-11-15T00:28:16+00:00

Modcloth (1920s-1950s) and The Hippie Shake (1960s-1970s) are two great clothing brands that give a lot of outfit inspiration on their websites.

You can also try looking through a site called "Lookbook(dot)nu" for outfits that regular people have put together themselves. You can do keyword searches for the styles (like "vintage" or "bohemian") you like. It helps me with taking the guesswork out of what looks good and what doesn't.

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-11-15T09:26:24+00:00

Find out your skin undertone and body shape and dress in a way that suits you specifically, don't follow trends. I like Aly Art on youtube. Lisa Eldridge has great makeup tutorials on YT too.

ErikaNaumann · 2021-11-15T12:10:10+00:00

I have autism too, and I posted this a few months ago in a sub reddit for women with autism:

"Special interest in fashion here 🖐🏻

Here are my tips:

80% of your wardrobe should be made of "basic" stuff, that will last you years: neutral colours (black, white, beige, grey), simple cuts (minimalism is great for us aspies, you can look on pinterest for minimalist chic outfits), comfortable breathable fabrics (cotton, linen, wool).

These neutral colours will look good on anyone and they all combine together perfectly, making it super easy to make outfits.

The basics should be: skirts, trousers, jeans (right now it's great because loose jeans are "in", and they are way more comfortable than skinny jeans), shorts, tshirts (no cartoons, just plain basic colour tshirt), button up shirts, jumpers, a cardigan, a winter coat, a mid season coat, an all purpose scarf, plenty of underwear (cotton panties, socks, bralletes, thermal undershirt or leggings for the winter), lounge clothes (look out for cool sport clothes in nude colours), a pair of more formal shoes (can be flat, like oxfords, or ballerina flats), a pair of casual shoes (can be white leather trainers, or converse), one pair of winter boots, one pair of sandals or flip flops, one wide brim hat for summer, one wooly hat for winter, and a good all around bag (tote bags are quite handy). If you live in very hot or very cold places the list may vary a bit.

20% of your wardrobe can be made of more trendy and colourfull items. Pick one or two of your favourite colours and incorporate them in your wardrobe. It helps to know what your undertone is, you can look for it on youtube ("figuring out my undertone"). For example, I am warm toned, so I added some reds, burgundies and warm greens on this 20% section.

You can also get some of the more trendy items you see in shops, but understand that trends come and go very quickly. I prefer not to invest in clothes I know I won't wear for long.

accessories: as an aspie I find that it helps to keep them minimal, but not absent. I usually chose between small earings (pearls or small gold hoops) and a necklace (always minimal and discreet). I personally struggle with rings and bracelets, but if you like them, keep them minimal too.
hair, nails, makeup: the way you "clean up" can make a big difference. I don't have acrilic or gel nails, but I keep them clean and trimmed, and sometimes I apply a coat of semi transparent nude pink. I wear minimal makeup, and not everyday. Usually just concealer and mascara. I used to love red lipstick, but with the masks there is no point. I keep my hair long and shiny, and I learned 3 hairstyles that are easy and practical (and require no curling or straightening irons (messy bun, a braid, and a quick half updo). I'm lazy like that 😂

AVOID: very trendy clothes, uncomfortable fabrics (polyester is horrible on your skin), buying too much stuff, buying things you dont absolutely love (that will just occupy space on your wardrobe), too many colours and patterns (hard to match), too many accessories (you will look like a xmas tree), heavy makeup.

If you want more tips/have questions feel free to comment. I will answer as I can 👍🏻"

I hope this helps.

anothernewyorklady · 2021-11-15T14:20:06+00:00

I learned how to do my makeup by watching Lisa Eldridge tutorials. She does a great job of breaking each step down and explains the reasons behind how she applies different products. It helped me a ton!

https://www.lisaeldridge.com/blogs/videos/tagged/basics

Peak_Tree · 2021-11-15T16:37:28+00:00

You didn't ask but I'll leave advise on skin/makeup here:

I don't really wear much makeup but for the ocassions I've needed to Lisa Eldridge's channel has been the only one I've found where makeup makes sense ( no contouring techniques designed for pictures, no extrange looks with your brows,etc..) she gives pretty realistic and practical advice and after finding her videos I feel I wasted time watching other makeup gurus.

For skin care I'd advise Dr. Dray. That woman is a mine of knowledge and also is pretty no nonsense with her advice [as expected when you have a dermatologist talking about skin care vs sponsored influenders trying to sell you shit]. Her advice for skin/hair/nails is pretty practical and even cheap but efective af and she touches on many health related themes too.

hotnbotheredd · 2021-11-15T15:34:49+00:00

Audrey Coyne is my favorite style youtuber! Maybe because she looks like me lol but if you’re into looking more “classy” and put together you might like her :)

Some tips: Write two lists- Clothes you’re comfortable in Clothes you like but wouldn’t wear. I saw this on the femalefashionadvice sub, the point of these lists is to help you save money by better understanding what you’ll actually wear as opposed to what you think is cute on the rack.

When you’re shopping for clothes, you need to ask yourself if it matches anything else you have to make an outfit, what occasion you’ll wear it for, how often you’ll wear it compared to the price, if it fits well and you can move comfortably in it. If it doesn’t check all my boxes, I won’t add it to my wardrobe.

Splurge on shoes! Take it from someone who’s developing a bunyon from years of wearing Target flats 😣 please pay more for good quality shoes. Not only for your health, but a good pair of shoes can really bring together an outfit.

Based off of what you wear daily, think of ways to elevate it. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on buying all new clothes, you might need to learn how to wear what you already have! You’ll probably need to buy a few accessories but nothing too expensive.

Helpful things to look up on YouTube: How to wear jewelry How to wear perfume How to style t shirt At home manicure How to style hair (for whatever hair type you have)

daisy_0720 · 2021-11-16T19:57:38+00:00

The best piece of advice I was ever given was work with your natural beauty - don't fight it.

i.e. If you have naturally curly hair, don't spend hours using heat-damaging tools trying to straighten it, but instead use products that will make your curls look their best. Likewise, if your hair is naturally straight, optimize how sleek and shiny your tresses are.

If you're dark-haired, instead of going blonde, experiment with different shades of brunette and go with the one most flattering to your skin tone. Likewise, if you're blonde, choose a shade within your natural range.

If you're pale-skinned, rock the porcelain look instead of covering it in fake tan.

Heavy brows are on trend right now, but mine naturally grow thin - and actually suit my face better. Thinner brows open up my eyes and make my features look more delicate, whereas heavy brows overwhelm my face. On the other hand, if your eyebrows naturally grow thicker, maybe it's because they're meant to, and just need tidying.

Not only will working with what you already have save you time, money and anguish, you'll find it much easier to maintain in the long-term.

aluriaphin · 2021-11-15T01:04:50+00:00

Anna Bey is an excellent resource on YouTube, she runs "The School of Affluence" and it's all about teaching women how to be feminine and elegant, including appearance and dating (she's very FDS friendly!). She teaches modern style, though. I am a vintage girl myself (WWII 40s is my favourite era!) and some of my favourites YouTubers for fashion and beauty are Jessica Kellgren-Fozard (50s/modern pinup), Sage Lilleyman (40s/50s casual), and Bee Townsend aka Vintage Tips and Tricks. Bee is especially good because she ranges a LOT from the 20s/30s right through the 70s. Trust me, if you dress and do your hair and makeup in a period appropriate style you will always look polished! ☺️

PenelopePitstop21 · 2021-11-16T09:37:16+00:00

I had a 'House of Color' style consultation about 20 years ago. When shopping I still refer to the little color fabric swatches and the style notes I took on that day. The lady I saw advised on both make up and clothing colors and styles; fashion changes but the kinds of things that suit you (Eg v neck rather than crew neck, skirt length just below rather than on the knee etc) are available every season, as are items in colors that both suit you and go together well.

There are a lot of YouTube resources and blogs etc. The problem I have with these is they are passive and require familiarity with a color/fashion vocabulary that is alien to me.

The way you describe your experience of autism suggests to me that you will find it easier if you have a real person explaining clearly what does and doesn't suit you, while demonstrating it with fabric swatches, and offering clear rules that you can follow. I have no idea whether I am on the spectrum (some friends and family are sure I am lol) but I found my consultation an absolute game-changer.

Christmas is coming up, if money is tight you could ask family to club together to get you this, or for its of cash this year explaining you are saving up to do this.

GlitteringContact8 · 2021-11-16T22:58:46+00:00

Lauren Messiah on YouTube also has great style advice! I’d also focus on skin care over make up. Makes you look healthy, prevents signs of ageing etc - why spent hundreds on make up to cover skin imperfections if you can get clear skin buying skin care products with that money instead? Also growth serum for your lashes and accentuating your brows will get you very far. Don’t forget the SPF either!

2021-11-15T16:18:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Tips for improving appearance as HVW?
Author	Double-Exchange
Upvotes	185
Comments	33
Date	November 15, 2021 12:13 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qu3asb/tips_for_improving_appearance_as_hvw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/tips-for-improving-appearance-as-hvw.1084042 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084042

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