Unfortunate Date Analysis

purasangria · 2021-09-10T05:16:38+00:00

Anyone who asks me any questions about finances is an automatic no. This man was obviously trying to figure out just how he could use you and your resources, sexual and otherwise.

So he could stay over at your house, borrow your car, etc.

And what's with the age questions? Did he think you were older or younger? I presume you met him online, so he knows your age already.

He seems like a user and/or a creep.

JadedConsequenced · 2021-09-10T04:46:45+00:00

“Do you live by yourself?” is such a predatory question… It’s exactly the same as asking “How easy of a target are you?”

I really want to own a house by myself someday but I’m also apprehensive about men discovering that I do 😬

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-09-10T11:16:58+00:00

whoa that's a fancy hobby pretentious gesture -> I can't afford you

I can personally vouch that when they ask this they are almost always cheap assholes in financial trouble. the type that will never buy a gift or something luxurious for your anniversary.

they never thought about "affording" you by the way! they only want to see how easy you are to please with cheap discount gifts. when he buys you popcorn at the movies you should go down on him. when he buys you a cheap ring, you give him anal. that's the strategy.

more than often, they will spend loads on themselves. luxury watches, gaming sets (my own experience) and they will get you nothing. if it's a meal, they'll ask to share. if it's a trip, you'll organize and pay half or pay all of it. if it's your b-day, he'll give you a hug and then have anal sex with you.

I write all these in a sarcastic manner, of course. my experience was the following:

he used to tell me about his ex. now, it's never a good sign when he starts doing that. comparing me to her and telling me how much better I was than her, because I wore a basic T-shirt and jeans coupled with a backpack on a date instead of a channel bag and pair of limited-edition Loubutins.

the same man might then tell you that you dress like a tomboy and will proceed to follow insta models showcasing their costly attires. the same man who will criticize his ex for taking hours to apply makeup, telling you he much prefers your natural looks but going into fibrillation when they see you bare-faced after pulling an all-nighter studying or working late.

these men are fucking shallow. and stupid. it's always rules for thee but not for me with them

Determinedblonde · 2021-09-10T06:37:17+00:00

I’m sorry there were some really good green flags, shame they came with red flag bunting 😕

He has a weird attitude where he’s worried you might use him or get him in trouble (age q) but he’s projecting.

Vmchik · 2021-09-10T11:20:33+00:00

I hope you mean cafe as in lunch and not coffee because that was the first red flag I saw in this write up

ZoeyGoose · 2021-09-10T10:01:53+00:00

You're excellent at manslation! They think they're being so sneaky with their questions but their bad intentions are so obvious. Like why does he need to know if you live alone? To get sex. Sex, sex, sex - that's always the motive for scrotes.

He was negging you about not believing your age, so he claimed he thought you were older than the age you told him? He thought he could make you feel insecure implying that you look old so you'd believe he was on your level and have sex with him. Their manipulation is so transparent!

Literally none of the questions he asked involved him trying to get to know you as a person. They're all predatory questions to manipulate you into sex, find out how long it will take him to get sex, and learn how to act toward you so he can get sex quicker.

BTW, if he has such an impressive career, why is he trying to woo a woman by taking her to a cafe? Even a nice cafe isn't that impressive. Paying for your coffee isn't exactly a high value move.

Professional-Ad-457 · 2021-09-10T09:09:40+00:00

Yuck I hate it when guys ask anything about your dating life. It’s so ungentlemanly esp. when they are a complete stranger.

highoncatnipbrownies · 2021-09-10T13:40:43+00:00

How do you dodge the "Do you live alone?" and "Do you have a car?" Questions -

Because yes I live alone and pay for my own apartment. But guy does not need to come over to my house or even think of spending the night for a long while.

And yes I own my own car flat out, but that doesn't mean guy will be using it and I'm not driving my ass to guys house every weekend at his beck and call.

I've had issues with both. Them showing up at my house constantly expecting 5 star accommodations whenever they want (read, I'm just going to stay here more and more until basically I live there too) and then I've had a guy who needed a ride, and then could you go pick up XYZ after work, and then grab this, and I need a ride because my car is in the shop etc etc etc. Its like as soon as you meet these guys anything that is their problem is becomes YOUR PROBLEM (hint, its not my problem -

Muffcakelord · 2021-09-10T15:47:48+00:00

This is one of those things that sounds insane but makes 100% sense once you understand how people work and how dating works. That makes it all so much more important for you to write it out for us to remember so that we won't let us be gaslit about it in the future by our pickme inner voice saying "he probably just wants to know..." and blaming ourselves for feeling oddly angry, sad or bad about his comments.

We could write a dictionary and attach it to the handbook

Ericaeatscarrots · 2021-09-10T14:49:34+00:00

How did you meet? Most of this information he should have known because he would have gotten to know you prior to asking /you accepting a date

dancedancedance7 · 2021-09-10T23:54:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Unfortunate Date Analysis
Author	dancedancedance7
Upvotes	232
Comments	41
Date	September 10, 2021 4:39 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ple5qy/unfortunate_date_analysis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/unfortunate-date-analysis.1069489 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069489

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