When did you realize that FDS was working for you and helping you make better dating decisions?

ax1zula · 2021-09-17T16:52:59+00:00

FDS made me realize that I don't need to be in a relationship at all. It's not worth the trouble and conflicts with my life goals. Since I don't want children nor to get married, men are a liability. Even if I were a minimum wage worker, I would still be able to sustain my lifestyle in the country I live in because I don't have a huge financial liability.

FDS helped me set standards for myself that I used to feel bad for setting like not wanting to interact with people that party a lot, have no hobbies, obviously want to use me to meet a particular objective etc.

It's a waste of time to date and get to know men even HVM, there's nothing I actually want from them unless it's related to career advancement.

I frequently read this sub because unfortunately I do have to interact with men on a day to day basis and in the workplace. The same strategies that are most prominent happen in day to day scenarios as well.

modestthot · 2021-09-17T17:28:57+00:00

When I no longer accepted being “busy” as a reason to not communicate with me. No one’s too busy for someone they want to spend time with.

I always felt like maybe I was asking too much, because people genuinely can be busy, so I would put up with it. Now, I’ll end things so fast if someone is “too busy” to talk to me.

Edit: I’m so confused how this comment has almost 100 upvotes but all my other comments are hidden because I’m not approved to post on this sub yet 😩

CantoErgoSum · 2021-09-17T17:16:33+00:00

FDS showed me that everything I had been taught about men and relationships was wrong. I was brought up to believe love meant suffering and giving away yourself to another person, and that marriage was how much abuse you could take before you broke. My parents did a bad job with that. I read FDS even now that I'm in a relationship with a HVM which I would not be if I had not taken FDS to heart. It was worth every second, and I love to see my fellow women on the up and up because of it.

honestlyidkfr · 2021-09-17T18:57:52+00:00

When I finally realized standards were like, a thing that existed, and there’s no shame in them. Prior to FDS the idea of a man like… putting in effort for me and not watching p—rn were inconceivable. I didn’t even realize that not having standards was hurting me, I thought that’s just how it is. Now I can just as happily say nah, not interested — he has a dead-end job, or nah, he’s too “”kinky”” (🤮) in the bedroom.

Before I would have been “desperate” but FDS managed to both show me that while HVM ARE scarce, I also don’t have a scarcity mindset; I’m just as happy being single, because there is 0 point in dating if it doesn’t uplift your life. If a HVM comes along great, but why settle for something subpar if you don’t need it?

oliverbrown1 · 2021-09-17T17:06:31+00:00

This guy acted like he was interested in me but NEVER asked me anything about myself. I am sober and he kept mentioning drinks. I stopped engaging with him but felt I needed to explain myself. I don't him owe him thing. FDS helped me block and delete.

Suspicious_Bad_5178 · 2021-09-17T18:37:22+00:00

For me it's that I don't need to understand "why" anymore. I'm breaking free from the habit of trying to understand "why" did he say this, "why" did he act like that, "why" does this bother me if it looks harmless....

If there ever is a reason for a man to do something, it hardly ever is a good one.
It doesn't matter why it bothers me, if it does it's my gut telling me to let him GO.

letsberealforamoment · 2021-09-17T17:28:53+00:00

I found FDS when i started online dating (yuck). I had always incorporated FDS principles in my real life and relationships, but online dating was a whole new world for a woman married a combined 25 years and new to it. FDS showed me how to block and delete, look for low effort from the first message, what a proper date was, etc. I essentially had to learn how to date since i had never truly "dated" before. I got linked here from a post on on dating over Fortee. And not a moment to soon. FDS was my first, and ONLY, instruction on how to date and I am forever thankful.

blackflowerx3 · 2021-09-17T21:55:36+00:00

It made me reflect on the red flags I had ignored in previous relationships, how friendships I had at the time weren't serving me/they were massive Pick Me's with proven patterns of being bad friends, and led to me truly examining my upbringing and unhealed traumas in a way I couldn't before. I started on FDS almost a year ago now and my level-up journey and self-esteem growth have been exponential during this time.

I've become a much more mature, balanced, kind person because I'm no longer taking everyone's shit and I'm no longer people-pleasing.

In terms of dating, I've also transitioned from "GiVinG tHe BeNefIT oF tHe DoUbT" to just removing myself with no explanation.

modernmedusaa · 2021-09-18T00:05:09+00:00

When I thought I was getting too paranoid about red pillers cos of my work at FDS

Until yet another one accidentally outed themselves as a red pill clown & had came out with some very concerning views on others too

I realised this sub was protecting me from some dangerous very spiteful men & there was more out there than I already thought

I don’t think FDS is too paranoid or harsh for this reason…it’s just many women are still in the dark

drslvtr · 2021-09-17T23:08:43+00:00

I stopped dating. I deleted OLD. I look at men with analytical eyes rather than from an emotional, welcoming place. I became really good at spotting red flags in anyone. Friends, coworkers, bosses. Sometimes even in myself. I started therapy. I put myself first. All these are basic advice from FSD.

Over the course of few months I can't believe how much happier, less anxious and productive I am. There's not a single thought in my mind that's clouded by a guy. I feel genuinely good and I don't think I can ever go back.

FDS is mainly dating strategy, I understand. But there's so many valuable advice for ladies who are not actively dating. So yeah, FDS is working for me and I appreciate all of you.

MerleErEnPerle · 2021-09-18T04:42:03+00:00

Dudes have to compete against my own company rather than nothing when I assess if they're worth dating now.

Initial-Glove · 2021-09-17T21:43:44+00:00

FDS helped me take the emotion out of interactions with a guy I was talking to.

I was being a pickmeisha, going off of tingles instead of the realization that this guy and I weren't truly compatible.

wet-plants · 2021-09-18T04:10:53+00:00

When I started rejecting men after the first date like right out the gate, way more often instead of giving him “the benefit of the doubt” when I sensed a red flag or “giving him a chance” when I wasn’t that attracted. And adamantly defending myself when friends or family imply I’m being too picky and might end up alone (I said thats okay, i’m not ashamed of being alone).

Lost_Kale90 · 2021-09-18T00:02:37+00:00

I realized how much energy most men were draining from me. I can accomplish a lot more on my own without being dragged down.

daisy_0720 · 2021-09-18T06:10:45+00:00

I haven't had a single crush since discovering FDS and I'm LOVING it.

daglowup · 2021-09-18T00:09:56+00:00

When the guy I thought was the love of my life blatantly cheated, lied and disrespected me to my face and I found the strength to block him and move on. No waiting for explanations, apologies or “closure”.

When I started carrying myself with dignity and professionalism at work, not accepting anything less than the highest quality in all aspects of my life.

It’s been a great 2 years. Cheers, my sisters. 🥂

Icy-Anywhere-3036 · 2021-09-17T18:22:34+00:00

I already hated men, but when I started being able to see specific behaviors intended to hurt me in the men in my family, and even my gay man friends I realize that my perception has really been altered

ComprehensiveAmoeba9 · 2021-09-17T22:17:21+00:00

It’s been so much easier for me to say no to people. I don’t owe anyone my time or an explanation. I’ve also been able to pick up on red flags and detect low value behavior even with men my friends are talking to/dating.

First man I dated after discovering FDS showed early warning signs of being emotionally abusive, manipulative, and most likely physically abusive if he didn’t get his way. I’ll admit I missed a few subtle red flags at first but Ive been getting better at spotting them now that I’ve had more experience after him. He started out decent but I did not let my guard down. He seemed very interested in me when we first met and seemed very eager to get to know me and would go the extra mile to pay for everything on the date, he would bring me lunch once a week to work (id already known him for several months prior as we met offline and we had mutual friends) and we’d eat together. Turns out he still had an ex in the picture, after a few weeks he started triangulating me with her saying she was trying to get back together with him.🚩 Then more red flags started coming out: he had a drinking problem and would drink a lot by himself in his car during his lunch break at work. He worked a very dangerous job so any alcohol then was a huge no no🚩 he also started withdrawing effort and affection after the first few dates then when I blocked and deleted him when he next bumped into me in person he started gaslighting me saying it was all in my head and that he felt like I was trying to make him look like the bad guy and that I shouldn’t have to break up with him🚩 we had sex several times when we were dating (a mistake I made, I should have waited longer) and he had ED once claiming it was just nerves, then I found out he told all the guys in the group that I sucked in bed. I told no one about his ED🚩 I cut him out and blocked and deleted the scrote after the first few dates. Also blocked and deleted his male friends who associated with him, they were just as toxic if not worse. I recognized the triangulation and gaslighting and I did not give him a second chance, even when he tried to get me to. I also recognized that I should not feel like it was my fault for not letting him walk all over me. He did not treat his ex any better, he strung her along promising her marriage for YEARS, she did all his housework and cleaning, and she finally left him when she realized he would never propose. Last I heard of him he’s dating another girl just for the sex. He’s playing the same game as he did with me, taking her out on all these nice dates and dropping everything to come visit her and bring her stuff🚩 the trash took itself out🗑

lolmemberberries · 2021-09-18T00:21:14+00:00

When I started focusing on the what and stopped focusing on the why.

Optimal_Grapefruit_5 · 2021-09-18T13:34:40+00:00

When I was the only woman in my social circle that wasn't stuck in shitty relationship dynamics and didn't keep making excuses for crappy men.
When all the women in my life kept telling me I "thought like a man" because I easily figured guys out. When I turned out to be right about all the terrible men the women in my life were into.

MinaFemme · 2021-09-17T19:06:55+00:00

I started respecting myself so much more once I ended a connection with someone I truly loved when I realized I wasn't upholding my standards for what I want.

deadinsidelol69 · 2021-09-19T03:50:50+00:00

I started putting what really mattered first, my family, my career, my hobbies. Dating became dead last, and any man that showed interest had to compete with all of the priorities that I place higher than giving him attention just for me to even care enough to remember his name. It's proven to be extremely effective.

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