How short sighted could they be?

Ok-Acanthisitta-8145 · 2025-06-29T19:25:44+00:00

Someone took the valid concept of codependence (someone incapable of regulating their own emotions to the level an adult normally would) and decided this must be some specific man disease. It impacts both men and women, and it generally results from growing up in an emotionally neglectful, abusive, or otherwise dysfunctional household. But that doesn't fit the nice clean us vs. them narrative, so instead we get "ugh men".

jessi387 · 2025-06-29T21:27:57+00:00

It’s ironic how, it’s considered emotional labour for them, when they talk about their problems and go through feelings , but it’s somehow also emotional labor for them when we talk about our problems and go through emotional distress( mankeeping) …🤔. Somethings not adding up here lol.

Langland88 · 2025-06-29T19:46:13+00:00

I see the publisher is Buzzfeed and I already knew where the narrative was going

henrysmyagent · 2025-06-29T22:08:03+00:00

What a load of bollocks!

Emotional labor is pure bullsh!t. Just another form of virtue signaling women do to make themselves feel better about their meager contributions in relationships.

How is it that only women experience emotional labor? No man has ever come home exhausted from a long day of emotional labor.

Has a man ever said, "Honey, I can't spend Thanksgiving with your family this year because it is too much emotional labor."

But we as men are supposed to grovel and genuflect because our wives/girlfriends sent out Christmas cards?

Any woman who expects applause and praise for the even most mundane effort in a relationship is too much emotional labor to be in a relationship with in the first place.

Designer-Property684 · 2025-06-29T23:22:22+00:00

Just another double standard. They require emotional support for a relationship to be viable, but if we require it too then it's "work" and "not what they signed up for" (per the article). And they wonder why so many men don't take them seriously.

Fair-Might-5473 · 2025-06-29T21:23:47+00:00

It's stupid. Might as well say that all the trauma dumping and constantly wanting to talk about your day as emotional labor. I know far more men who feel the need to talk to their partner than vice-versa. I can really go on about it. Does this also constitute as emotional labor?
How is it that they can be doing the most emotional labor, yet always be the ones dumping the problems on us? Just because you see it as a problem, doesn't mean that I do. It's similar to the issue of cleaning. Different standards for what constitutes as problematic.

As someone also mentioned. This is Buzzfeed. They have no credibility. You know what to expect when you read a Buzzfeed article. Dog shit.

StrangeRaccoon281 · 2025-06-29T22:27:37+00:00

*Buzzfeed

Well there's your problem.

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2025-06-30T00:11:12+00:00

This is therapy language nonsense. It's men who are seeing the game is rigged and walking away.

QuantumPenguin89 · 2025-06-30T06:36:02+00:00

Curious that they don't even bother asking men how much "emotional labor" they perform in relationships. It's simply assumed that women do more of it, or they only ask women and consider the case closed. I struggle to believe that men really are receiving more emotional support from women than women do from men.

Song_of_Laughter · 2025-06-30T06:03:24+00:00

It's Buzzfeed, it's particularly insipid and designed to get clicks. I don't even think that the feminist movement takes Buzzfeed seriously anymore.

dusty_bo · 2025-06-30T10:20:40+00:00

The concept of Emotional labour being a gender issue was straw that broke the camps back for me with modern feminism for me.

alphonsus90 · 2025-06-30T02:05:28+00:00

Methinks this article is just another one of those "I have a conclusion that I like so I'm going to assume it" rather than using simple common sense

aslfingerspell · 2025-06-30T12:33:26+00:00

I once tried to look up what emotional labor was supposed to be and the list was all over the place, including "basic adult life stuff" like planning grocery trips or remembering birthdays.

webernicke · 2025-06-30T21:14:16+00:00

Funny thing about this...

Wasn't there a big collective whine women had several years ago about how men are too solution oriented and try to fix problems instead of just empathizing and validating while their wives/girlfriends wanted to vent about their bitchy coworkers or whatever?

"IT'S NOT ABOUT THE NAIL!!!"

In and of itself an admission that women unapologetically expect men to perform straight-up emotional labor.

But oh the wailing and gnashing of teeth if we expect them to reciprocate in any way...

No-Knowledge-8867 · 2025-06-30T01:25:03+00:00

Their own "emotional intelligence" seems so frequently mistaken for emotional diarrhoea and instability by these type of women that can't reflect on their own impacts of their immaturity and lack of self-reflection. Let alone work out what they actually want beyond what some opinionated "journalist" has told them.

NuRDPUNK · 2025-06-30T02:07:23+00:00

What is also seems like is a huge cultural shift, I don’t think we’re at the reigns of our own ship anymore

ciaobellapgh · 2025-06-30T14:49:09+00:00

It's literally just nonsense that is not worth listening to rooted in modern WASP culture. Anyway, they don't really believe it, because they would ask you to care about THEIR issues, so they're full of shit.

CanonBallSuper · 2025-07-01T01:14:39+00:00

I am always skeptical of the statistical representativeness of these studies, as I suspect they're largely done on WEIRD (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic) women, the vast majority of whom are steeped in feminist ideology. Down-to-Earth, normal working-class women probably don't share this abominable revulsion against doing "emotional labor" for loved ones and friends.

Sleeksnail · 2025-07-03T11:14:45+00:00

Hey if we're doing the collective guilt thing then yes, women have created male loneliness and it starts with the normalized abuse from mothers on sons. The callousness and viciousness starts in early childhood and continues through adulthood except now it's all levels of society telling them that they're inherently evil and feeling pain makes them wrong and evil.

Internalized misandry is the driving cause of male loneliness. That and the highly antagonistic education systems funnelling men into long hours of dangerous work so they're too exhausted for socializing.

fredriktomte · 2025-07-10T08:47:04+00:00

What kind of people is she talking to? This from the article:

"Nearly every man I spoke to said his male friendships left him feeling worse about himself."

I mean, it is not only that they don't get the support they need from their friends, their friendships were directly negative to them? I don't think this is a common experience among men.

Then there was also this:

"As several male interviewees pointed out, their friends were often quick to “hate” or “blame” women after breakups."

So, they all hate and blame women, but can't see it when they themselves do it, only when their friends do it?

This kind of suggests that the men she talked to were not at all representative, but rather curated to fit the narrative she wanted to push.

And finally, at the end, she says that we need to redefine what provide and protect means, but that means that she does not want to remove the genderstereotypical expectation/demand on men that they should provide and protect. That actually sounds quite conservative and not what feminism used to stand for. Also, is she equally willing to keep societal expectations/demands on women based on sex? Because the whole article reads like her saying that women should not be expected to shoulder any burden men are not shouldering (personally I don't believe that she is correct that it only goes in one direction, I believe men on general do emotionally support their girlfriends and wives too, but that's a seperate issue).

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