anyone else feel like giving up?

Flobblem · 2012-08-12T19:10:00+00:00

Change cannot be measured in mountains, but in each grain of sand that shifts.

Hamakua · 2012-08-12T19:45:38+00:00

No, we are very successful, I see progress all the time.

The accounts that ask these questions are always around 1 day or 3 months old, anyone else notice that?

seego79 · 2012-08-12T19:03:50+00:00

i can appreciate that no social change happens overnight but it just seems like we spend our time banging our heads against a wall. maybe i just see more of the unfair bias we have against us these days, or maybe shits really getting worse.

hardwarequestions · 2012-08-12T19:21:23+00:00

I'm WAY too stubborn to do that.

Curebores · 2012-08-12T19:01:08+00:00

Change of this scale is never quick. It may take a generation or more. We may not even see it fully realised in our lifetime. The best we can hope for is to lay the groundwork so that those that come after can continue the good fight standing on our shoulders.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other, it is a long walk that is for our children and their children to finish.

EvilPundit · 2012-08-12T20:13:03+00:00

No. Seeing the unfairness makes me want to fight harder.

Sure, I have times of depression, and even despair - but concentrating on negatives only makes me feel worse. They way to feel better is to do something. Even if it doesn't succeed, at least it takes your mind off the badness.

And while it's difficult to see, as an MRA for about twenty years or so, I can assure you that we are slowly gaining ground. That';s why the resistance is so strong now - the bigots are starting to get scared.

seego79 · 2012-08-12T19:13:37+00:00

hmm i can see some truth to that, all you need to di is read anything on r/SRS and it says their afraid of us. guess i have just really noticed some of the barriers lately, it took so long to get custody of my kids and now i just feel like obstacles are constantly being put in my way

2012-08-12T20:26:06+00:00

Here's a suggestion for all you who frequent (and moderate) this website:

Whenever in your daily life you read or hear a lie or half-truth, speak out against it at once. Don't let bigotry and lies continue to circulate. Examples:

If you hear somebody mumble, "men are dumb," remind the person that the wisest, most intelligent people who ever lived were men (e.g., Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Galileo, Newton, Einstein).
If you hear some bar-room generality about men being violent, remind the person that the greatest advocates for peace the world has ever known were men (Jesus, Francis of Assisi, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr.)
If you hear the usual tripe about "70 cents for every dollar a man makes," cite Warren Farrell's findings to the contrary in books such as "The Myth of Male Power."

By standing up to lies and myths in this way, you slowly but surely change the culture. Don't underestimate the power of daily conversations and ongoing dissent.

Jetmann114 · 2012-08-12T19:46:59+00:00

Just hang in there and keep fighting the good fight OP. We fight because others won't, hold the front line, stay strong! Follow your heart, and never abandon it!

ClaudeKenni · 2012-08-12T20:20:32+00:00

The only thing to do is keep fighting. Progress is occuring, and will continue to occur, but sometimes very slowly. Those who might feel put out by the push for equality will keep pushing back, trying to prevent progress, and furthering the disparity between genders wherever possible.

Most people though just simply haven't thought about it enough, they are too used to the idea of feminism = equality. It will take time to argue or persuade those who are under a bombardment of misinformation, that there are areas in society where legally and culturally, men are severely discriminated against and mistreated, and that pushing for these changes isn't, as it's presented by some people, an attack on women.

I think that one of the strengths of the MR movement is that it doesn't usually deny that there are areas in society where women are also discriminated against, in the way that a percentage of the feminist community seem to deny that men can be discriminated against, based on gender.

And without an underlying dogma, the MR movement also isn't arrogant enough to say that if society fixes the issues that we raise, that it will fix all discrimination, in the way that the vast majority of feminists claim, as identified in the OP, that feminism will fix the areas in which men are discriminated against.

I feel that those things, in the end, will be what ensures that our push for equality will succeed. It wont be quick, and it wont be easy, but it will happen.

TheGentlemanZombie · 2012-08-12T20:26:49+00:00

Not anymore, but a while ago, I did. I was pretty depressed at the time.

Maybe you just need a break; get offline and hang out with your friends for a while, and you'll feel better.

2012-08-12T20:28:20+00:00

The truth always wins. It only needs to be spoken enough.

JockeVXO · 2012-08-12T20:35:56+00:00

Nope.

gege33 · 2012-08-12T20:44:54+00:00

We simply CANNOT give up.

typhonblue · 2012-08-12T21:53:55+00:00

You are the change.

mikesteane · 2012-08-13T01:55:55+00:00

No, we are making great progress. We have the support of a great many silent women who will come out of the closet as soon as they realise they own no loyalty to self-appointed representatives of womanhood. As soon as the wall of propaganda is seen through, it is impossible not to see more and more bias against men. Every day more men suddenly see that the privilege that they always thought their sex held is an illusion. The movement is snowballing. Feminism is collapsing into increasingly isolated bunch of extremists and an increasingly inactive group of women with no great belief in the movement any more.

Gingor · 2012-08-12T19:49:58+00:00

You need to think on a bigger timescale. No one of us is likely to see true equality in his lifetime.

Besides, I would use the same theory here as Marx used for capitalism, in short: "Things have to get worse before they get better".

Wait until feminists take over more and more, then people will automatically realize what happens, few at first. There will be revolutions, and hopefully some of us who have realized what is happening earlier, will still be there too.

seego79 · 2012-08-12T19:49:59+00:00

i think maybe i got so caught up in the victory of securing my kids futures (which only happened so quickly because of the death of their mother) that i thought it was gonna be plain sailing. i never had the forethought to foresee the likely hood of future difficulty.

edit- i should point out it took 7 years of legal action to get to the point where my ex couldn't just take the kids back when she felt like it even though i had been the primary carer for nearly 6 years

cthulufunk · 2012-08-12T22:25:59+00:00

http://www.paulgraham.com/say.html

Have you ever seen an old photo of yourself and been embarrassed at the way you looked? Did we actually dress like that? We did. And we had no idea how silly we looked. It's the nature of fashion to be invisible, in the same way the movement of the earth is invisible to all of us riding on it.

What scares me is that there are moral fashions too. They're just as arbitrary, and just as invisible to most people. But they're much more dangerous. Fashion is mistaken for good design; moral fashion is mistaken for good. Dressing oddly gets you laughed at. Violating moral fashions can get you fired, ostracized, imprisoned, or even killed.

double-happiness · 2012-08-12T21:39:01+00:00

Look at all the good things humans have created. It wasn't so long ago we were hiding out in caves and trying to stay alive by eating bugs and rodents. Seriously. Can you imagine how hard life has been for people in the past? If you really think on what our ancestors went through to survive you will surely have to conclude the human race is progressing.

Sorry to hear you've got the blues anyway, chin up seego79

Pureos · 2012-08-12T21:55:36+00:00

I'm not looking for change right now, But If I can share my views and open up a few peoples eyes to the misandry and double standards floating around. Ill be fine with that, Ive already brought these views and ideals to many of the other young men and women I accociate with.

And my generation is very receptive from what Ive seen. Keep up the good fight gentlemen we are indeed making progress.

TommyGun991 · 2012-08-12T22:05:00+00:00

We need to press on regardless, more and more people are waking up. A lot of them have been simply brainwashed and never been offered something else, someone told them in 5th grade that this and this is like this, so they cling to the twisted beliefs. Thus, it's our duty to educate them.

MockingDead · 2012-08-13T04:24:41+00:00

Very much so. I wake up every day deciding whether to self improve, or just eat cocoa puffs until I die in a couple years.

Liverotto · 2012-08-13T10:47:35+00:00

Absolutely, and I gave up on this sick Western Society years ago, it is doomed.

Now I just daydream of moving to some decent Third World country and retire in my 30's.

mayonesa · 2012-08-19T20:13:28+00:00

No. The tide is turning. The next 20 years are going to be a more pro-masculine, pro-nature, anti-liberal time.

roadhand · 2012-08-13T00:08:42+00:00

To be clear, seego, this "battle" is one that women cannot win. You cannot fight a war with emotion, and no logic. Sure, it seems like it sucks at times, but only logic can prevail - a tool we have in abundance. I strongly urge you to stand firm in your convictions, and come for support whenever you need. Feel free to message me if you wish. I have been hit as hard as any man here, and steadfastly refuse to stop standing my ground, and fighting the good fight. This is not just for the individual, but for the general health of society, which will certainly be destroyed should we give up. I am here. Stand with me.

rightsbot · 2012-08-12T18:54:18+00:00

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2012-08-12T20:21:00+00:00

I'm mostly just bored at this point. nobodies really brought anything new to the table in terms of content/knowledge/ideas in years and it's starting to turn into an echo chamber.

OuiCrudites · 2012-08-12T21:55:34+00:00

And this is why men need to avoid marriage, avoid cohabitation, and maintain a zero-bullshit policy in their interactions with women as much as possible. This helps a man avoid most of the clear and present dangers of the status quo.

Change, on a large scale, will be virtually impossible. Change, on a small scale, is very possible. But my emphasis is not change, it is spreading awareness and hopefully giving people a perspective that stirs some thoughts. And again, making men aware of the dangers they face in relationships with women.

G-O · 2012-08-12T21:46:32+00:00

http://youtu.be/v_WKYfOHDTY

kaosethema · 2012-08-12T23:14:32+00:00

yes, especially after I pay all my bills and I have $20 until the next paycheck.

but when my daughter runs across the room, jubilantly screaming ''Daddy!!'' I think it's worth fighting a losing battle.

I would rather that my daughter see me as the father that lost after fighting than to see me as the father that never fought.

AndyMan668 · 2012-08-13T02:51:15+00:00

Do I feel like giving up?

Personally, I feel it may take generations for things to change for the better. But no I don't feel like giving up.

In any case, it's not what happens to us that matters, it's what we do that counts.

Jesus_marley · 2012-08-13T04:25:51+00:00

I feel like quitting all the time. I feel like I am just beating my head against a wall and that no one can see the reality in front of them. And then I realize that it is for that very reason I cannot quit. If I can make just one other person wake up and see, then I have been successful.

Also, having a child, I see that she is a saviour of sorts. I look at my daughter and I see change. I see in her a future in which she is aware of the injustice that others refuse to believe exists. I see in her the potential to raise awareness where I cannot. I will raise her to be rational, free thinking, aware. I will teach her to question dogma, I will teach her to be a leader and to not blindly follow the crowd. She is the reason I don't give up.

C0CKPUNCHER · 2012-08-13T12:54:17+00:00

The problem is you haven't given up enough. Why are you trying to educate idiots?

seego79 · 2012-08-12T22:13:09+00:00

thanks guys and gals, its been emotional. i have been truely perked up by your posts.

i realised that a struggle is called that because it isn't easy, i also owe it to my son and my daughter to keep pushing because the world as it is is not gonna be a happy place for either of them. and i felt encouraged to take my grievance with the local council who denied me a house yet gave 21 newly built houses to single mothers further.

thanks everyone, your officially legends

southernasshole · 2012-08-13T07:42:48+00:00

There are many parts of feminism if take to their farthest logical inclusion would include the genocide of men.

Even if it is an uphill battle its one that has to be fought.

Scott2508 · 2012-08-13T06:34:15+00:00

yes and no , i get down sometimes because of it , posting on facebook last night an image showing that women spend more money than men resulted in a mass of ad homenims and abuse about my health problems etc , but i cant, even if the change doesnt happen in my lifetme i will keep working because its the rights of all men to live a normal and decent life, i cant give up and leave people to it

gringo1980 · 2012-08-12T20:24:49+00:00

Yeah, you should.

Title	anyone else feel like giving up?
Author	seego79
Upvotes	19
Comments	65
Date	August 12, 2012 6:52 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/y3qb1/anyone_else_feel_like_giving_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/anyone-else-feel-like-giving-up.1016018 https://theredarchive.com/post/1016018

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